funky

Trojan

Dav, you're a muppet sometimes, but that is a classic!!

Al.

Shiminay

I was on my way to the post office to pick up my case of free M&M's
(sent to me because I forwarded an e-mail to five other people,
celebrating the fact that the year 2000 is "MM" in Roman numerals),
when I ran into a friend whose neighbor, a young man, was home
recovering from having been served a rat in his bucket of Kentucky
Fried Chicken (which is predictable, since as everyone knows, there's
no actual chicken in Kentucky Fried Chicken, which is why the
government made them change their name to KFC).
Anyway, one day this guy went to sleep and when he awoke he was in his
bathtub and it was full of ice and he was sore all over and when he
got out of the tub he realized that HIS KIDNEY HAD BEEN STOLEN. He saw
a note on his mirror that said "Call 911!" but he was afraid to use
his phone because it was connected to his computer, and there was a
virus on his computer that would destroy his hard drive if he opened
an e-mail entitled "Join the crew!" He knew it wasn't a hoax because
he himself was a computer programmer who was working on software to
prevent a global disaster in which all the computers get together and
distribute the $250.00 Neiman-Marcus cookie recipe under the
leadership of Bill Gates. (It's true - I read it all last week in a
mass e-mail from BILL GATES HIMSELF, who was also promising me a free
Disney World vacation and $5,000 if I would forward the e-mail to
everyone I know.)
The poor man then tried to call 911 from a pay phone to report his
missing kidneys, but a voice on the line first asked him to press #90,
which unwittingly gave the bandit full access to the phone line at the
guy's expense. Then reaching into the coin-return slot he got jabbed
with an HIV-infected needle around which was wrapped a note that said,
"Welcome to the world of AIDS." Luckily he was only a few blocks from
the hospital - the one where that little boy who is dying of cancer
is, the one whose last wish is for everyone in the world to send him
an e-mail and the American Cancer Society has agreed to pay him a
nickel for every e-mail he receives. I sent him two e-mails and one of
them was a bunch of x's and o's in the shape of an angel (if you get
it and forward it to more than 10 people, you will have good luck but
for only 10 people you will only have OK luck and if you send it to
fewer than 10 people you will have BAD LUCK FOR SEVEN YEARS).
So anyway the poor guy tried to drive himself to the hospital, but on
the way he noticed another car driving without its lights on. To be
helpful, he flashed his lights at him and was promptly shot as part of
a gang initiation.
Send THIS to all the friends who send you their mail and you will
receive 4 green M&Ms-if you don't, the owner of Proctor and Gamble
will report you to his Satanist friends and you will have more bad
luck: you will get sick from the Sodium Laureth Sulfate in your
shampoo, your spouse/mate will develop a skin rash from using the
antiperspirant which clogs the pores under your arms, and the U.S.
government will put a tax on your emails forever.
I know this is all true 'cause I read it on the Internet.

---

All the best,

Dav
@B^)
http://homepage.eircom.net/~davitt

Wyverne

I somehow knew that my REALLY bad day would
be recorded and placed by someone on the internet; life is no longer worth living,

/me wails repeatedly for his bottle!!!