Airline

KdjaCL · 22-10-2002 12:23pm #1

> After every flight, pilots complete a gripe sheet which conveys to
the
> mechanics problems encountered with the aircraft during the flight
that
> need repair or correction. The form is a piece of paper that the
pilot
> completes and then the mechanics read and correct the problem. They
then
> respond in writing on the lower half of the form what remedial action
was
> taken and the pilot reviews the gripe sheets before the next flight.
>
> Never let it be said that ground crews and engineers lack a sense of
> humour.
>
> Here are some actual logged maintenance complaints and problems as
submitted > by Qantas pilots and the solution recorded by maintenance
engineers. > By the way, Qantas is the only major airline that has never had
an
accident.
>
> (P = The problem logged by the pilot. S = The solution and action taken
> by the engineers.)
>
> P: Left inside main tyre almost needs replacement.
> S: Almost replaced left inside main tyre.
>
> P: Test flight OK, except auto-land very rough.
> S: Auto-land not installed on this aircraft.
>
> P: Something loose in cockpit.
> S: Something tightened in cockpit
>
> P: Dead bugs on windshield.
> S: Live bugs on back-order.
>
> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: DME volume unbelievably loud.
> S: DME volume set to more believable level.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.
>
> P: Suspected crack in windshield.
> S: Suspect you're right.
>
> P: Number 3 engine missing.
> S: Engine found on right wing after brief search.
>
> P: Aircraft handles funny.
> S: Aircraft warned to straighten up, fly right, and be serious.
>
> P: Target radar hums.
> S: Reprogrammed target radar with lyrics.
>
> P: Mouse in cockpit.
> S: Cat installed.

LOl

kdja

DiscoStu · 22-10-2002 12:27pm

> P: Autopilot in altitude-hold mode produces a 200 feet per minute descent.
> S: Cannot reproduce problem on ground.

class

Wossack · 22-10-2002 2:20pm

Very good

Carbiens · 22-10-2002 3:19pm

Originally posted by kdja
>
>
> P: Evidence of leak on right main landing gear.
> S: Evidence removed.
>
> P: Friction locks cause throttle levers to stick.
> S: That's what they're there for.
>
> P: IFF inoperative.
> S: IFF always inoperative in OFF mode.

kdja

:Dexcellent:D