Bunny be gone

irishgeo · 13-09-2002 11:50pm #1

For a holiday, Mulvaney decided to go to
Switzerland to fulfil a lifelong dream
and climb the Matterhorn. He hired a guide
and just as they neared the top, the men
were caught in a snow slide.

Three hours later, a Saint Bernard ploughed
through to them, a keg of brandy tied under
his chin.

"Hooray!" shouted the guide. "Here comes
man's best friend!"

"Yeah," said Mulvaney. "An' look at the
size of the dog that's bringin' it!"

Pepe LeFrits · 14-09-2002 11:28am

...

tman · 14-09-2002 10:29pm

is that it?

Makaveli · 14-09-2002 10:46pm

Did you make that up yourself?
Be honest.

irishgeo · 14-09-2002 11:22pm

no i didnt make it up but i found it in usenet.

Tellox · 14-09-2002 11:34pm

you forgot to put in </joke>
thats why nobody's laughing.

OLDYELLAR · 16-09-2002 9:27am

what has 2 legs and bleeds ?
half a dog.
haha
*mean*

Defenistrator · 16-09-2002 10:37pm

IrishGeo, That WAS very funny.... the other nerds have no sense of humour

Lump · 16-09-2002 11:08pm

HE HE, the first joke didnt make me laugh, but I just love the Half dog one

John

Mutz · 17-09-2002 12:30am

I smiled

Littletinyman · 17-09-2002 12:39am

That's a great joke!!

Okay, here's mine:

What's red and not invisible?

..

Tomatoes!

Makaveli · 17-09-2002 12:40am

LOL @ Oldyellars joke.

netwhizkid · 17-09-2002 12:15pm

i thought that was a good joke the others have no sense of humour,

Regards netwhizkid

Pepe LeFrits · 17-09-2002 12:18pm

No, you just amuse easily.

Andor · 17-09-2002 7:26pm

whats brown and sticky ?

a stick:p

oeNeo · 17-09-2002 7:56pm

Why did Bono fall of the stage?
Coz he stood to close to the edge

What's white, 6 foot tall and would kill you if it fell out of a tree?
A fridge

Dredz · 17-09-2002 9:38pm

The first one is awful... other ones are good, in a nostalgiac (sp) sort of way

What's yellow and deadly?

Shark-infested custard...

Something like that, anyway...

DRakE · 17-09-2002 10:30pm

Originally posted by Andor
whats brown and sticky ?

a stick:p

that is actually quite good

Makaveli · 18-09-2002 12:32am

What's pink and fluffy?

Pink Fluff.

Why did Johnny fall off the swing?

He had no arms.

What do you call a girl between 2 goal posts?

Annette.

Shiminay · 18-09-2002 9:38am

While we're at it...

Why did the Johnny's brother fall off the swing?
Someone threw a fridge at him.

What do you call a girl between 2 houses?
Elaine.

Why was the tomato laughing so much?
Someone told him a funny joke...

Sposs · 18-09-2002 2:56pm

whats yellow and smells of sick?

Monkey sick

whats the difference between buying a Daniel O Donnell record and sticking your hand down his pants?

you'll feel a bigger bollocks buying his record

Bard · 18-09-2002 3:12pm

Two cows in a field.

One cow says to the other: "Jayzuz I'm terrible worried about this BSE, Mad Cow Disease stuff... t'is terrible concernin' so ti's"

The other cow looks at him for a moment, chews the cud a bit, blinks, and then says...

"HOLY SH*T A TALKING COW!"

...

(Yes... I know)

Mibel · 18-09-2002 3:15pm

ok ok all quite good BUT..................................

did ye hear bout d magic tractor?
went down d road an turned into a field!!!!!

or the farmer who won an award?
he was OUTSTANDING in his field

i'll bid u all adeiu "i've got a class to teach!!!"- homer simpson

actually gotta another boring lecture 2 go to

My name is Mud · 19-09-2002 7:46am

Whats black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white, black & white?

A nun falling down the stairs.

sorry

Mibel · 19-09-2002 9:51am

Let's not have those sorts of jokes thank you very much!

Sposs · 19-09-2002 11:15am

whats red all over and screams really loud??????

thats one of the sickest jokes i ever heard.

Mibel · 19-09-2002 11:45am

why thank you sposs i aim to please

Mossy Monk · 19-09-2002 11:58pm

very funny. i love them all

Repli · 20-09-2002 1:52am

Two fish are sitting in a tank and one says "So how do you drive this thing then?"

lol rofl hehe

OLDYELLAR · 20-09-2002 2:15pm

whats black and white and red all over?

a constipated nun.

Mistakill · 20-09-2002 2:57pm

Whats Green and brown and if it fell out of a tree it would kikll you?

A snooker table.

Whats Blue and fluffy?

Blue Fluff.

Loads of them stupid yet funny ones.

Snoop_froggy · 20-09-2002 3:01pm

Why did the girl fall out of the tree?

She had no arms!

Why didn't she get back up?

She had no legs!

Goodshape · 20-09-2002 7:06pm

Banned for a week for that one.

Makaveli · 21-09-2002 6:17pm

A man walked into a bar.
It hurt his head.

weh weh weh :rolleyes:

celts1888 · 21-09-2002 7:27pm

3

cournioni · 22-09-2002 1:01am

y did the red neck plant cherios in his yard......

he thought they were doghnut seeds.

Bard · 22-09-2002 2:06am

Originally posted by Mistakill
Whats Green and brown and if it fell out of a tree it would kikll you?

A snooker table.

but I'm not UNDER a tree!!!!

...

yeah.

Ok. Three tomatoes are walking down the street: Pappa tomato, Mamma tomato and baby tomato. Baby tomato starts lagging behind and Pappa tomato gets really angry,... goes back and *PTHHHH!* ... squishes him.

Says: `ketchup`.

oeNeo · 22-09-2002 7:33pm

What did the legless tourist do while on holiday?

Bum around Ireland...

:rolleyes:

strat · 22-09-2002 7:38pm

ALTERNATE ENDING !!!!

Originally posted by Bard
Two cows in a field.

One cow says to the other: "Jayzuz I'm terrible worried about this BSE, Mad Cow Disease stuff... t'is terrible concernin' so ti's"

The other cow looks at him for a moment, chews the cud a bit, blinks, and then says...

...*woof*

Bard · 23-09-2002 8:37am

Originally posted by StrataGIST
ALTERNATE ENDING !!!!

...*woof*

or...

"Ah shur I wouldn't know, I'm a duck!"

MelKor · 23-09-2002 2:23pm

whats furry,black, white and red, spins round' at 60 miles an hour and screams?

a puppy in a blender.

a priest a rabbi and vicar walk into a bar, the barman looks at them and says,... is this some kind of a joke?

Dredz · 23-09-2002 9:02pm

What is Mary short for?

She has no legs...

naughty · 24-09-2002 11:55am

Wat do u call a man with a spade in his head?
doug

What do u call a man with no spade in his head?
douglas

wat do u call a man standin on a doorstep?
matt

wat do u call a man standin on a doorstep about to sneeze?
matthew

Wat do u call a girl with 1 leg?
eileen

Wat do u call a girl with no legs?
noleen

can ive a cupa Theee heee

DapperGent · 26-09-2002 12:59am

What do you call a man with a rabbit up his bum?
Warren

This'll probably be editted but...

...you were right...

Don't do that again - expecially when you know it's going to happen.

1 week ban.

Ajnag · 26-09-2002 2:49am

I see no ones done an enda kenny on it yet,

so there this N..........

On second thoughts, the jokes here are bad enough, so let loose the mother of them all

Why did the chicken cross the road?

To get to the other side.

mhahahahhahhahhahahh:D

ozpass · 26-09-2002 12:02pm

Why did the cat cross the road?

Because it was stapled to the chicken.:(

OLDYELLAR · 26-09-2002 1:24pm

why did the chewing gum cross the road?

because it was stuck to the chickens leg

GoneShootin · 26-09-2002 7:10pm

when is a door not a door ?

when it is, ajar

Snoop_froggy · 26-09-2002 8:09pm

None of that either - 1 week ban

Makaveli · 26-09-2002 11:19pm

Originally posted by Gone Shootin
when is a door not a door ?

when it is, ajar

lol nice one

Carbiens · 27-09-2002 4:03pm

a lady walked into a bar and asked the barman for a double entrage,

so he gave her one

Bunny be gone

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