what to do?

LegacyUser

I have a bit of a problem with my current living arrangements. Up to now I have lived in a two bedroom house with my girlfriend. A while ago a friend of ours moved in as the place she was going to live in fell through. This was fine as me and my girlfriend only used one of the rooms so she could take the other. The house is a bit small for 3 but it was ok.
However last week my girlfriend and I broke up. She ended it saying she no longer felt the same about me as she once had. I am still in love with her but that is not the only problem. The room we shared is actually the one that I rent with the one our friend is in being my ex-girlfriends. Our friend has nowhere else to live and neither one of us can sleep on the sofa as its just not comfy enough to spend long sleeping on. So we are still sleeping in the same room and in the same bed.
Now I’m finding the brake up really hard as we were together for nearly 2 years but I cant avoided her at all not even at night (which is the hardest time for me). I get so jealous when she goes out clubbing ect not only because I keep thinking about what shes doing but because I feel I cant go out as most my friends are her friends so if I don’t go out with her then Im not out with my friends.

I just don’t know what to do and any advice you can give would be welcome.

STaN

talk about an awkward catch-22 situation. Ive gone through the whole jealousy thing and i know that spending time with a partner after the breakup of a long relationship is a bitch.

Get out as much as she does, she feels the same as you do about things like that.

DeadBankClerk

Every night when she is asleep put a nicotin patch on her arm. Wake up before her and remove it. When she finally does move from your room she will have long sleepless nights due to the lack of nicotin in her system. She will think she is in love with you and can't live without you.

mayhem#

Originally posted by DeadBankClerk
Every night when she is asleep put a nicotin patch on her arm. Wake up before her and remove it. When she finally does move from your room she will have long sleepless nights due to the lack of nicotin in her system. She will think she is in love with you and can't live without you.

You my friend, are seriously wicked!!

sceptre

sceptre awards DeadBankClerk 100% Evil Bastard Rating

Really awful situation to be in. I'm surprised you can put up with sharing a house, let alone a bed.

Ultimately I think for your own sanity one of you will have to move out. Even if you had a spare bedroom, assuming the relationship is as dead as you seem to say, would you honestly want to be there if she brings someone home with her?

This needs to be resolved as soon as possible. It's a bit easier on her if she says she doesn't feel the same way about her that she once did. It's hell for you. This will drive you nuts.




Of course if you ever feel like being mean, take your ex out for a nice meal and a few drinks. Spend some decent money on having a good time - a really good time. Take her home, wait till she removes her clothes, push her out onto the porch and lock the door. She'll move out after that. Mind you, no-one I've suggested this to has ever tried it.

WhiteWashMan

you have three options as i see it

1) you want to save everyone hassle and not have things get any worse - move out

2) you like the place and want to stay there, but you like to torture yourself for pleasure - get your friend to move out and take back your bedroom and watch your ex bring back fellas to the flat, and then cry as you press your ear against the wall as she screams in pleasure that you could never give her. maybe shes got two fellas in there with her?

3) you like the place but dont want to be reminded that youre living with your ex - get your ex to move out

personally id go for number 1.
lets face it, its over. let it go. leave.

Beruthiel

I has a similar experience a good few years back...
move out now - damn whatever it costs or how difficult it is for you, otherwise you will go mad, literally!

The Corinthian

One of you does have to move out, I think that's self-evident. I knew a couple in that situation a while back and it was very hard on them. However, why it should always be the guy to move out is beyond me.

Sit down with her, perhaps over a drink and discuss with her that one of the two of you will have to move out. However, the one forced out will have to be compensated in some manner (due to the costs of moving). I would think that fair and wise.

Failing that, kill her and bury her dismembered body under the patio. Use plenty of air freshener. Spring breeze works best.

Typedef

Obviously it's you who will have to move out. You are the fella, she is the chick and that is the way it is.

Yes I know it's not PC... and tough. I think you know that it's you who has to leave, but you are holding on to some hope the two of you will get back together. So if you are sure the two of you are finished, or at least that the chick is finished with you, you have to find another place, sorry, but that is one of those things fellas just have to do...... it's on page 3 of "the guide to being a boyfriend".

Par example you don't expect a chick to take you out to dinner do you? Pity the man who does..... so really hanging around like a gouseberry won't get you anywhere, and of course it's not fair, that it's you who has to move out, what you can't expect is that your ex should do it.

Oh sure it's the 90s and we are all new men, women pay for half the meal when you go out and make as much money... yeah right, great.

Thing is I still open doors for women, let them walk through doors first, pick up heavy objects for them, and so on, that is the way of things. Thus you should be the man do l'right thing and move out. Yeah sure it'd be really great if we lived in a world where you weren't as the man 'expected' to move out, but we don't, so deal with it.

Beruthiel

You are the fella, she is the chick and that is the way it is.

I disagree with this statement Typedef, when I was in this particular situation, it was me who moved out as I was the one who finished it, I believe as it was his girlfriend who finished it then it should be her who moves, however if she is refusing, then for his own sanity he probably should just leave - life is never fair in these circumstances.

Failing that, kill her and bury her dismembered body under the patio. Use plenty of air freshener. Spring breeze works best.

the extent of you knowledge scares me Corinthian!!

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
Thing is I still open doors for women, let them walk through doors first, pick up heavy objects for them, and so on, that is the way of things. Thus you should be the man do l'right thing and move out. Yeah sure it'd be really great if we lived in a world where you weren't as the man 'expected' to move out, but we don't, so deal with it.

LOL. You’re equating letting women walk through doors first with being the individual to move out of the apartment if the relationship falls through? How many women have you lived with?

Surreal - other than the latter never having been one of the rules of chivalry in anyone’s books, some ppl just assume it is. You'll make a nice New Your Jewish girl very happy someday

Let’s not get confused between gallant and gullible, shall we?

[edit]Thought of a better gag...[/edit]

Typedef

Originally posted by The Corinthian

LOL. You’re equating letting women walk through doors first with being the individual to move out of the apartment if the relationship falls through? How many women have you lived with?

That'd be exactly 'zero' and counting, a fact of which I'm quite proud if truth be told. I'm my own man ........ it's the 90s after all.

Anyway for my €0.10 I think that yes chivalry implys that so long as Unregistered has accepted the demise of his relationship with this chick it should be him (as the bloke in said arrangement) to bow out gracefully.

Feel free to call me a Chauvanist and rain abuse about my backward 19th centry view of the world, it's true what they say you know 22 going on 90.

The Corinthian

Originally posted by Typedef
Feel free to call me a Chauvanist and rain abuse about my backward 19th centry view of the world, it's true what they say you know 22 going on 90.

I would have said naive rather than chauvinistic.

It’s hardly a crime for a gentleman to show some gallantry. That we should be chivalrous and make a woman feel adored and feminine in our company is a duty rather than an option.

However, there is a point were we have to consider that the individual that we are in a relationship with is just that - an individual. Not some fragile doll, incapable of thinking or acting for itself. In such a case, I would think it important to always be chivalrous in all those little ways that matter, but I would expect such a woman to be horrified were I to treat her as sort of hopeless dependant.

And if she’s not, I’ll be happy to pass her number on to you.

Nonetheless, this is going off topic and my previous opinion on what Unreggi should do stands.

DrummerBoy

Originally posted by Typedef

Oh sure it's the 90s........

Originally posted by Typedef

........ it's the 90s after all.

Sorry, I just couldn't leave this alone!!!