a couple of decent jokes...

tman

This guy walks into a pharmacy and says to the pharmacist "Listen, I have 3 girls coming over tonight. I never had 3 girls at once, I need something to keep me horny, keep me potent."

So the pharmacist reaches under the counter, unlocks the bottom drawer and takes out a small black cardboard box marked with an "X" and says "Here, if you eat this you'll go NUTS for 12 hours!"

The guy says "gimmee 3 boxes".

The next day, the same guy walks into the same pharmacy, right up to the same pharmacist and pulls down his pants. The pharmacist looks in horror as he notices the man's penis is black & blue, with skin hanging off in places. The man says "gimme a bottle of Deep Heat". To which the pharmacist replies "Deep Heat? You're not going to put Deep Heat on that are you?"

The man replies "No it's for my arms, the girls didn't show up"!!!
___________________________________________________


A completely inebriated man was stumbling down the street with one foot on the curb and one foot in the gutter. A cop pulled up and said, "I've got to take you in, pal. You're obviously drunk."

Our wasted friend asked, "Officer, are ya absolutely sure I'm drunk?"

"Yeah, buddy, I'm sure," said the copper. "Let's go."

Breathing a sigh of relief, the wino said, "Thank goodness, I thought I was crippled."
_______________________________________


An old woman in a nursing home kind of lost it one day and stripped off all of her clothes and took the sheet off the bed. She tied it around her neck like a cape and ran down the hall saying,

"SUPERPUSSY."

She did this trying to get some attention from the nursing staff but they weren't paying attention, so she jumped in the doorway of an old man's room and landed in a pose saying,

"SUPERPUSSY."

The old man looked up, thought for a second and said,

"I think I'll have the soup."
________________________________________


A man walks out of a bar, stumbling back and forth with a key in his hand. A cop on the beat sees him, and approaches, "Can I help you, sir?"

"Yesssh! Sssshomebody ssshtole my car!" the man replies.

The cop asks, "Where was your car the last time you saw it?"

"It wasssh at the end of thisssh key!" the man replies, logically, if a bit too literally.

About this time the cop looks down to see that the man's member is being exhibited for all the world to see. He asks the man, "Sir, are you aware that you are exposing yourself?"

The man looks down woefully and without missing a beat, moans "OHHH GOD . . . they got my girlfriend too!!!"
_____________________________________________


they're all pretty sh|te, but better than some of the muck i've seen on this forum recently;)

Pugsley

The 1st one was good, the rest were barable

bozzie

ROFL
the first one was good

Makaveli

First one was the best.
All pretty good, made me smile anyway.