Tiger woods

Gaz

Up Against Tiger Woods

A couple was on their honeymoon, lying in bed, about ready to consummate
their marriage, when the new bride says to the husband, "I have a
confession to make, I'm not a virgin."

The husband replies, "That's no surprise in this day and age."

The wife continues, "Yeah, I've been with one guy."

"Oh yeah? Wh
o was the guy?"

"Tiger Woods."

"Tiger Woods, the golfer?"

"Yeah."

"Well he's rich, famous and handsome. I can see why you went to bed with
him." The husband and wife then made passionate love. When they
finished, the husband gets up and walks to the telephone.

"What are you doing?" asks the wife.

The husband says, "I'm going to call room service for some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it a second time."

The husband puts down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to
his wife for a second time. When they finish, he gets up and goes over
to the phone.

"What are you doing?" She asks.

The husband says, "I'm still hungry so I was going to phone room service
to order some food."

"Tiger wouldn't do that."

"Oh yeah? What would Tiger do?"

"He'd come back to bed and do it one more time."

The guy slams down the phone and goes back to bed and makes love to his
wife one more time. When they finish, he's
gasping for air and
glistening with sweat. He drags himself over to the phone and starts to
dial.

The wife asks, "Are you calling room service?"

"No! I'm calling Tiger Woods to find out what's par for this damn hole."

Harmo

He He Gud 1

Bluehair

Tiger Woods, having just won a major international in Ireland, decides to hire a car and spend a week touring around the countryside.

After a few fun days he finds himself in deepest Mayo running out of petrol and so pulls over to a remote station to fill up.

"How'ya doin Sir will I fill er up for ya?" says the culchie petrol attendant to which Tiger aggrees. "Begorrar thats a fine big motor car ya have there Mr. Woods". "Sure is" Tiger replies "hired a top of the line Volvo Turbo hatchback. Plenty of power, automatic, sunroof, temp gauge, elec everything, auto rain sensor for the wipers, fridge, tv/ps2, even the seat is heated!"

"Well best of luck with it Mr.Woods that'll be 20 quid for the petrol". Tiger takes his wallet out of his pocket to pay but as he does two golf tees fall out of his pocket on the ground. Picking them up for him the young fella says "they're funny lookin yokes Mr.Woods what are they?". Tiger explains "they're for holding my balls while I'm driving".

Young fella astonished replies "God, Volvo think of everything".

Corega

Much better then Ruaidhri's jokes

Ruaidhri

Originally posted by Corega
Much better then Ruaidhri's jokes

pffffffffffffffft you WISH. my jokes are for the humour elite not a normal person like you..ph34r m3h j0k35