commandments of a culchie

OLDYELLAR

01) - Thou shalt drink only pints and/or "whiskey."
02) - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.
03) - Thou shalt always stand at the back during mass, or even better,in the
porch talking.
04) - Thine Wife shalt emulate Biddy from Glenroe.
05) - Thou shalt emulate Miley.
06) - Thou shalt "Suck Diesel."
07) - Thou shalt pretend to know all about "The Headage."
08) - Thou shalt look after your tractor better than your car.
09) - Thou shalt have no "Revershing" lights or number plate on your
trailers.
10) - Thou shalt display a "Travellin' to Flavin" sticker on the back window
of all vehicles.
11) - Thou shalt wear your Ivomec Pour-On fleece with pride.
12) - Thou shalt not use but half-inch Wavin or "a good Sally Rod" for
beatin cattle.
13) - Thine sons shall play GAA.
14) - Thine daaawwwthur shall marry the local centhur-forward.
15) - Thou shalt hold regular arguments with d'telly.
16) - Thou shalt reminisce the Fair Day, the Threshing, Kickin' Cabbage and
the Corncrake.
17) - Thou shalt know a Mickeen Tomeen Joe and a Paddy Joe Paaaack from "the
top of the parish."
18) - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" at all GAA matches.
19) - Thou shalt hate "Those Backstard the Tans."
20) - Thou shalt be edumacated by the Chrissshtian Brethers.
21) - Thou shalt pronounce 'Yellow' as 'Yolla'.
22) - Thou shalt carry the A.I. Man's mobile number on you at all times.
23) - Thou shalt not visit Dublin ( except to Croker and to bring the wife
shoppin' on the
8th of December ).
24) - Thou shalt not fail to attend the Ploughing Championships and all
Steam Rallies.
25) - Thou shalt always know how to reek turf bether than thine Neighbour.
26) - Thou shalt use balin' twine to hold up thine trousers.
27) - Thou shalt not ever visit the dentist.
28) - Thou shalt not miss an episode of "The Weather."
29) - Thou shalt have many many injuries from "that Hooooor of
Charlois I got from that cowboy calf-dealer."
30) - Thou shalt wear cap crooked.
31) - Thou shalt love all Big John Wayne's films,especially "The Quiet Man."

32) - Thine son shall be nicknamed "Bungalow," 'cos "he's got nothin'
upstairs."
33) - Thou shalt shoot stray dogs.
34) - Thou shalt drown cats.
35) - Thou shalt think all Lesbians are from Lesbia.
36) - Thou shalt annually run the tractor off the end of the pit when
tramping silage.
37) - Thou shalt taste all barrels of Molasses.
38) - Thou shalt think it's great craic to ring PJ and
roar into the phone while he's with "the bit of stuff."
39) - Thine favourite chat-up line shalt be "Howya fixshed for a bit
howya goin' on ?" whilst winking like an epileptic.
40) - Thou shalt paint "Whatever County for Sam!" or "Feck off crows!" on
all of your
round bales.
41) - Thou shalt never leave the country.
42) - Thou shalt have a Heinz-57 mongrel of a dog which is good
for nothin' except terrorising the neighbour's sheep.
43) - Thou shalt only bathe on a
sathurday niyat, using only carbolic soap
44) - Thou shalt read the Farmer's Journal.
45) - Thou shalt always support your county GAA team
whilst curshing them for being "pure ****e" at every given
opportunity.
46) - Thine sweet of choice shall be either Ritchies After-Dinner Mints or
Silvermints.
47) - Thou shalt only be aware of strippers of the bovine kind.
48) - Thou shalt refer to Soccer as "The Foreign Game."
49) - Thou shalt always sing the dirty line to "Alice."
50) - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the
priest's hand in the process.


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Rabies

02) - Thou shalt always ate the skin of yer rasher.

i hate when people eat the skin of a rasher. jesus christ its pig fat!!! it looks terrible.

50) - Thou shalt always receive Communion on the tongue, licking the priest's hand in the process.

dont go to mass so i'm ok with that. but imagine where the priests hands have been. just think of the poor alter boys

Hellrazer

I just stuck this up in work for one of our resident boggers:)

OLDYELLAR

hahahaahahahahah

Harmo

Very good

Thanx 4 The Fish

18) - Thou shalt ate "Hang Sangwiches" at all GAA matches.

Mmmmmmmmmm Hang Sangwiches....

Culchie Boy

Jesus chist could u insult us anemore. And by the way i love the skin of the rasher in the morning after milking the cows. and i always treat the auld massey better than the car. And i only go to dublin for to see kerry win ! and molasses is quite nice

Drazhar

ahh, the massey is classy, but the zetor is better!!! (sorry)

Culchie Boy

Ah you cant beat the Auld Massey, Or the Kerry Team !

OLDYELLAR

aaaaaaaaaawwwwwwwwww shiney , here listen culchie boy , i got a brand new combine harvester and i`ll give you the key!

Hellrazer

Play this to a basic blues riff.On a banjo

Tractor blues.

Cows get milked and chickens get plucked,
But me fields are barren cos me tractors fu<ked
I got the tractor blues,tractor blues etc.etc etc.



Play until you get very bored indeed.

OLDYELLAR

now theres a tune for when we run out of hang sangwiches and we have to send herelf up to the ould chip wagon for a bit a cha.

The Gopher

What about the Dublin commandmentds?
Honor thy oul boy and thy oul one.
Thou shalt not kill unless thou ist owed money,need money,or thou see thyne brethern riding thoust buuurd.
Thou shalt not steal from houses in Castleknock-theyve all got burglar alarms
Thou shalt not covet thy neighbours wife.Ride her,but not covet...
Thou shalt not bear witness against thy neigbour-especially to the filth.

po0k

feck them jackeens.
No culture in them at all.

And the SAMMY R TEH WIN

I don't eat the rind off the rasher.
I have cheese + Colman's mustard sandwiches
In fact, 80% of that stuff doesn't apply to most people I know.
Feckin sterotypes spewn up by bastid under educated jackeens coughing black soot from their frothing lungs.....

Want to buy a pup? Good breedin'

Culchie Boy

Who actually came up with the name "Culchie" ? Do'nt reply with "oh some jackeen"

po0k

oh some other jackeen

three

Very funny