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For all the ppl complaining about, 3rd ed D&D

  • 19-07-2002 11:06am
    #1
    nesf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭


    I recieved this on a mailing list, but it originated on anoter mailing list, so i can't attribute the author. He's refering to alot of e-mail's complaining about 3rd ed apparently. I found it quite amusing tho..

    --- Original Message ---
    "OK. I've been reading all this balderdash and hooey about you people
    not "not likin' this" and "not wantin' that." Well, you guys today got
    it made! If it weren't for us "old-timers" you guys wouldn't know a
    Dungeon Masters guide if it broke into your house and stole all your
    Rush albums! Here's what it was like back in my day:
    We didn't have FANCY, SPECKLEY, SWIRLY DICE back in the old days. Our
    dice were PLAIN and they were BLUE! If you threw the 12-sider too hard,
    IT EXPLODED! Then you had to buy another Expert Level Set to get another
    one! And we COULDN'T EVEN READ THE NUMBERS on our dice! We had to COLOR
    them with a CRAYON for crying out loud! We had Cruddy, Blue, Exploding,
    Crayon-Coated Dice - AND WE LIKED IT!!!
    Our MONSTER MANUAL was BLACK & WHITE for Pete's sakes! We had to COLOR
    in all those pictures! And we didn't know what color things were back
    then - we HAD TO USE OUR IMAGINATIONS! God forbid if we used all our Red
    Crayon on our dice! Then all of our monsters had Orange Eyes! And what
    kind of crazy ecosystem was represented on the cover of that thing
    anyhow? They had every monster in the food chain living together in
    perfect harmony! We had Colorless Monsters that lived together
    peacefully - AND WE LIKED IT!!!
    Then there was that DUNGEON MASTERS GUIDE! It had that SCARY BIG DEMON
    LOOKING THING on the cover! And everytime your Mom saw it SCARED THE
    BEJEEZUS out of her and she would RIP IT UP or THROW IT AWAY or sell it
    to your best friend at a garage sale for $1.25! We had to buy the same
    book over and over again cause our Moms threw it out - AND WE LIKEDIT!!!
    And, don't get me started about SOURCE MATERIAL! We didn't have
    "Complete This" and "Player's Option" that! We didn't have any Core
    Rules for the Computer-thing-a-ma-jig! All we had was some CRAPPY
    INTELLIVISION GAME. All of our dungeons were drawn on graph paper! All
    of our rooms were 10' x 10'. But (and this is where we got you young
    fellers BEAT) ALL of our dungeon rooms were FILLED WITH TREASURE! Heck,
    all you had to do back then was BREAK DOWN THE DOOR, KILL THE MONSTER,
    and TAKE THE TREASURE! We didn't have PLOT LINES or CAMPAIGN WORLDS or
    STORYLINES to bog us down! There was MOUNTAINS of TREASURE! Heaps of
    it!!! You know why you don't find treasure in every room in your silly
    dungeons and modules anymore? CAUSE WE TOOK IT ALL! HA! AND YOU CAN'T
    HAVE IT! We had plotless, storyless, 10 foot by 10 foot dungeon rooms
    FILLED WITH TREASURE, AND WE LIKED IT!!!
    Now you all are complaining about the quality of a "Dungeons and
    Dragons" movie! Oh My Stars and Garters! Count your sheep lucky that you
    get a MOVING PICTURE! We had a cartoon with a Unicorn that shot a laser
    beam from his horn, and an 8-year-old barbarian...AND WE LIKED IT!!!
    Finally, you guys with your "LEAD FREE" miniatures! I had to get a new
    puppy every month because of the things I grew up painting! Heck, now I
    feed my dog Vrock entire Warhammer Armies cause they're nothing but 28
    millimeters of cheap scrap metal and plastic! We had lethal, cancer-
    causing miniatures that killed our pets, AND WE LIKED IT!!! "


Comments

  • #2
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    I remember colouring those dice, AND I LIKED IT


  • #3
    Hobbes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    Then there was that DUNGEON MASTERS GUIDE! It had that SCARY BIG DEMON LOOKING THING on the cover! And everytime your Mom saw it SCARED THE BEJEEZUS out of her

    One of my cousins had that exact problem! She thought he was into Satanic worship and wouldn't get him any more stuff.


  • #4
    Rev Hellfire
    Closed Accounts Posts: 7,346 ✭✭✭Rev Hellfire


    http://www.chick.com/reading/tracts/0046/0046_01.asp

    May the lord save you

    Gloooooooooooooooooooooooooooooorrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrry


  • #5
    Hobbes
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 21,264 ✭✭✭✭Hobbes


    I see your Dark Dungeons and raise you Dork Dungeons.

    03ad2.jpg

    Btw, the thing that always irk'ed me is what was with people carrying 10' poles everywhere?


  • #6
    Clintons Cat
    Closed Accounts Posts: 1,489 ✭✭✭Clintons Cat


    And we COULDN'T EVEN READ THE NUMBERS on our dice! We had to COLOR
    them with a CRAYON for crying out loud! We had Cruddy, Blue, Exploding,
    Crayon-Coated Dice - AND WE LIKED IT!!!

    its funny cause its true...couse back the we wuz so poor we couldnt aford none of those fancy-dan store bought dice we had to carve numerals on an oxo cube.


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