Groan.......

Sangre

A woman brought a very limp parrot into a veterinary surgery. As she lay
> > her pet on the table, the vet pulled out his stethoscope and listened to
> > the bird's chest. After a moment or two, the vet shook his head sadly
>and
> > said, "I'm so sorry, Polly has passed away." The distressed owner
>wailed,
> > "Are you sure? I mean, you haven't done any testing on him or anything.
>He
> > might just be in a coma or something." The vet rolled his eyes,
>shrugged,
> > turned and left the room, returning a few moments later with a beautiful
> > black Labrador. As the bird's owner looked on in amazement, the dog
>stood
> > on his hind legs, put his front paws on the examination table and
>sniffed
> > the dead parrot from top to bottom. He then looked at the vet with sad
> > eyes and shook his head. The vet fussed the dog and took it out, but
> > returned a few moments later with a cat. The cat jumped up and also
> > sniffed delicately at the ex-bird. The cat sat back, shook its head,
> > meowed and ran out of the room. The vet looked at the woman and said,
>"I'm
> > sorry, but like I said, your parrot is most definitely 100% certifiably
> > ..... dead." He then turned to his computer terminal, hit a few keys
and
> > produced a bill which he handed to the woman. The parrot's owner, still
>in
> > shock, took the bill. "150!, she cried, 150 just to tell me my bird is
> > dead.!!" The vet shrugged. "If you'd taken my word for it the bill
would
> > only have been 20, but what with the Lab report and the cat scan......"

Sangre

Teacher asks her class to use the word 'contagious'.
Roland the class swot, gets up and says, “Last year I got the measles and my
Mum said it was contagious.”


“Well done, Roland” says the teacher. “Can anyone else try?”
Katie, a sweet little girl with pigtails, says, “My grandma says there's a
bug going round, and it's contagious.” “Well done, Katie” says the teacher.


“Anyone else?”

Little Declan jumps up and says in a broad Irish accent, “Our next door
neighbour is painting his house with a two-inch brush and my Dad says it
will take the contagious”.

Sangre

A bus station is where a bus stops,
A train station is where a train stops,

At my desk there is a work station.....




(I am so so sorry).....:)

cujimmy

Re: Groan
pure dead brilliant:D

DRakE

the first one is lolz

Harmo

xcellent