couple of jokes

Rabies

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Bubba's Three Daughters

Bubba had three daughters.

One Saturday evening the door bell rang. Bubba answered the
door, where he was greeted by a young man with bad case of acne.

The boy smiled, and said, "Hi, my name is Joe. I'm here to pick
up Flo. We're going to see a show. Can she go?"

Bubba shook his head, and told his daughter to have a nice time.

A short time later there was a knock at the door. Upon opening
the door Bubba was greeted by another pimple faced boy who smiled
and said, "Hi, my name is Eddie. I'm here to pick up Betty.
We're going out for spaghetti. Is she ready?"

Bubba shook his head, and kissed his daughter good night.

No sooner had Bubba sat down that the bell rang again. Bubba
opened the door to be greeted by a boy with clear skin who said,
"Hi, My name is Chuck." With that, Bubba shot him.

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Butt Cheek

A young lady got into a terrible car accident. Her face was
burned terribly. The doctors couldn't use any skin on her body to
graft onto her face for reconstructive surgery. As a result, her
husband offered the skin off his butt for the surgery. She had
the surgery and was as beautiful after as she was before the
surgery.

One night she and her husband were watching TV when she broke
down crying. "What's the matter?" her husband asked.

She said "I can't believe you did this for me."

Her husband hugged her and replied, "Don't worry about it, I love
you, and I'd do anything for you."

But how will I ever repay you?" she asked.

With which he replied, "You don't need to repay me, you wouldn't
believe the satisfaction I get every time I see your mom kiss you
on the cheek."

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Ol' Fred

Ol' Fred had been a faithful Christian and was in the hospital,
near death. The family called their preacher to stand with them.

As the preacher stood next to the bed, Ol' Fred's condition
appeared to deteriorate and he motioned frantically for something
to write on.

The pastor lovingly handed him a pen and a piece of paper, and
Ol' Fred used his last bit of energy to scribble a note, then
suddenly died.

The preacher thought it best not to look at the note at that
time, so he placed it in his jacket pocket.

At the funeral, as he was finishing the message, he realized that
he was wearing the same jacket that he was wearing when Ol' Fred
died. He said, "You know, Ol' Fred handed me a note just before
he died. I haven't looked at it, but knowing Fred, I'm sure
there's a word of inspiration there for us all."

He opened the note, and read, "Please step to your left -- you're
standing on my oxygen tube!"

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EvilGeorge

Ahhhh, some classics there , enjoyable read before lunch.

Ruaidhri

"Hi, My name is Chuck." With that, Bubba shot him.

classic
*round of applause*