A Mustache Can Cost You Beer

Hobbes

A Mustache Can Cost You Beer

February 25, 2000 9:23 am EST

LONDON (Reuters) - The sight of British men in pubs wiping the froth from
their mustaches after drinking a pint may soon be a thing of the past --
according to brewer Guinness they are wasting nearly half a million
pounds of their stout a year.

New scientific research commissioned by Guinness (DGE.L) showed that
between them, an estimated 92,370 mustachioed Guinness drinkers lose
up to 162,719 pints of the black stuff each year -- worth some 423,070
pounds ($675,900).

"A genuine mustache has been proven to contribute to a significant
Guinness wastage, as a result of inter-fiber retention at every sip," the
company said in a statement.

For those trying to count the cost of their mustache, the average
Guinness drinker with a mustache like sports presenter Des Lynam is losing
over 12 pounds a year, while those with a goatee like pop singer George
Michael are nine pounds out of pocket.

A full beard could cost you around 23 pounds in lost Guinness -- although
the research showed that the amount varies according to the thickness
of the facial hair.

Trojan

[from todays I-T]


Sir, - The recent study by Dr Robin Dover on Guinness loss through absorption into the moustache deserves closer scrutiny.

Whilst there is no doubt that there is indeed some loss of the precious fluid through hair absorption, this phenomenon is more than offset by the beneficial effects of the process itself.

As a marginal amount of the Guinness is slowly drawn into the follicles closest to the nose, it creates an ambience that permeates the brain via the local senses (particularly smell). This is caused by vaporisation, as the Guinness makes contact with the skin at the follicle roots and is inhaled between sips to maintain continuity of effect, which in effect creates the conditions that will allow for the full appreciation of the constituent parts of the fluid being consumed, and may indeed go some way towards our inability to understand why we are sitting on a four legged stool in the first place. - Yours, etc.,

czxcvbnmwdefg, Howth Road, Dublin 5.

Canaboid

Only scobes have moustaches these days anyway.