GUYS COMPLAIN ABOUT GURLS +more

Kraken

1. You all wear too much makeup to try to impress the guys when we clown on the gurl with the most make up.
2. You all go to the mall in clans looking the same.
3. You think any import car with modification is "Hella Tight"
4. You say "Hella" TOO much. Example: "Dats Hella F*cked up!"
5. You all have fake ass high pitched voices.
6. You only go out with guys that drive a Civic or Integra and it has to be fixed up...Like you girls know about cars anyway.
7. You all secretly compete to see who gets the "fOinest" guy.
8. You are all too damn superficial and shallow.
9. You all think you're so cute with that fake ass cutie act!
10. On AOL you have to tYpE LiKe tHiS aNd iT's rEaLLy aNNoYiNg...
11. On all of your voicemail greetings you say the same thing.
12. All the fat ones wear the tightest fitting clothes...EWWWWWW!
13. You all are trend followers.
14. In Chat Rooms, the first thing you all say is "Where are all the FOINE guys at?"
15. You think a BALD guy is "FOINE"
16. You all listen to the same music.
17. When it is 10 degrees out side, you wear Tight/Short clothing!
18. You think you're so cool that you got into a club.
19. You wear Nike/Sports Clothing and Can't play SPORTS!
20. You think you are all dat because you have fake ID's.
21. You ask for a PiX on AOL and never send one back when you said you would.
22. You think you're cool when you hang around the wannabe Gangsters.
23. You ****en girls talk too ****en LOUD!
24. You NEVER NEVER listen.
25. Some of the ****en ugly girls have the nastiest voices.
26. You can't make up your mind.
27. You walk around the ****en mall with NO money, until you pick up a RICH guy and leach off of him.
28. You complain that you have arm pits hair.
29. You spend 5 hours in the bath room shaving your self.
30. You talk on the ****en phone for 3+ hours!
31. You girls seem like you have PMS every single day!
32. You carry 50 tampons in your purse.
33. You buy a shirt that is 100 dollars which makes us guys POOR~!
34. Girls always want something for every single occasion.
35. Girls write too MUCH letters about NOTHING~!
36. Girls spend nothing on their Boy Friends while the guys buy their Girl Friend's presents that are over 100 Dollars + .
37. Girls spend too much time looking for "fOine" guys on AOL while the guys that have lives are with their Girls friends. Which means, all the Guys on AOL are mostly LOSERS doin the same thing.
38. Girls stuff socks/tissues in their bras to make their HOOTERS look BIGGER.
39. Girls look UGLY w/o makeup.
40. Girls get so pissed off when they get a pimple on their face which NOBODY can see~!



5 REASONS TO BELIEVE COMPUTERS ARE LIKE FEMALES:
1. No one but their creator understands their internal logic.
2. Even the smallest mistakes are committed to memory.
3. The native language used to communicate with others of their kind is incomprehensible to anyone else.
4. The message "bad command or file name" is about as informative as "If you don't know what's wrong, then I'm not going to tell you."
5. As soon as you make a commitment to one, you find yourself spending half your paycheck on accessories for it.




TEN COMMANDMENTS OF LOVE:
I. I am thy Main Squeeze; thou shalt squeeze no others before me.
II. Thou shalt not take the name of they Squeeze in vain, nor badmouth me behind my back.
III. Remember our Anniversary, and keep it holy. Or else.
IV. Honor MY mother and father. THINE are too damn weird.
V. Thou shalt not kill my love by behaving tackily and making me embarrassed to be seen with thee.
VI. Thou shalt not commit adultery, nor shalt thou even THINK about it if thou knowest what is good for thee.
VII. Thou shalt not steal from my purse/wallet while I am in thy bathroom, nor use my credit cards, nor make long-distance calls from my telephone.
VIII. Thou shalt not talk about our personal problems to our friends.
IX. Thou shalt not covet the higher market price of thy neighbor`s house.
X. Thou shalt not covet thy neighbor`s Squeeze, nor son or daughter, nor stereo, nor BMW.









The Secret Language of Women -- Keywords and Their
Meanings by God_Diva (in AsianAvenue)

Fine


This is the word a woman uses at the end of any argument in which she feels she is right about but needs to shut you up. Never use "fine" to describe how a woman looks. This will cause you to have one of those arguments.

Five Minutes
This is really half an hour. It is equivalent to the same "five minutes" that a football game is going to last before you take out the garbage.

Nothing
This really means "You`d never understand." "Nothing" is usually accompanied by a woman`s desire to turn you inside-out, upside-down, and backwards. "Nothing" is often said prior to an argument that will last "Five Minutes" and will end with the word "Fine."

Go Ahead (with raised eyebrows)
This is not permission. This is a dare. One that will result in a woman getting upset over "Nothing" and will end with the word "Fine".

Go Ahead (with normal eyebrows)
This means "I give up" or "do what you want because I don`t care." You will get the "Go Ahead" with raised eyebrows in just a few minutes, followed by "Nothing" and "Fine" and she will talk to you in about "Five Minutes" when she cools off.

Loud Sigh
This is not actually a word, but is still a verbal statement often misunderstood by men. A "Loud Sigh" means she thinks you are an idiot at that moment and is wondering why she is wasting her time arguing over "Nothing."