Suicide

Shane

I've never really thought about it that much. Always believed it happened to "other people". Today, an old friend of mine killed himself. One bullet to the head, blew half his face off and left a pool of blood on the floor. Don't really understand. Up until about three years ago, we were close friends. We went our seperate ways - as you do. He mixed in with "the bad group", got into drugs and drinking. Just left him to himself. He broke up with his girlfriend last week and has been depressed since. Today, he went home and up to his room. His mother told him the dinner was on the table. He said he would be down in a minute. Next thing "BANG". The mother ran out of the house screaming. I don't want to get into much detail right now, but what is the general belief? Up to now I have felt it is downright selfish. Today, I am confused. I can't imagine getting to the state where that is the ONLY solution. Comments please?

m1ke

i've always imagined it as a split second decision you make when you're not in the right state of mind. I think everyone at some stage has lost control of their anger, temper, feelings etc... and at a certain point you are capable of making a decision that would shock you if you were in a right state of mind - and you never know until you're tested.

ykt0di9url7bc3

suicide = pain of lining > fear of death

it can take months to seconds for the desecion to be made!

and there is always a reason, thats the horrible part

ScottB, condolences to you and those who knew your friend



SearrarD

davros

I can't imagine getting to the state where that is the ONLY solution.

I'm very sorry to hear about your friend.

I have never been in such a black despair but perhaps it was not the only solution, just the easiest one. A Journal of Trauma study, quoted in a recent Economist, showed a large increase in suicide among children when guns are available. The way out is just too obvious and convenient.

The result might well apply to young adults too.

Neil3030

Yeh guns are a huge factor. Ive read about people who were at the point of topping themselves but the thought of pills or slashing themselves were too sickening so they cancelled their plans and i pressume they are still here. Had there of been guns available they probably wouldn't be. People see it as a painless and uncureable method that will get the job done (for lack of a better and more tactful phrase) with the minimal amount of pain and suffering (physically)

Sorry about your friend.

Victor

Again, sorry to hear about your friend.

One policy I have is "never do something stupid to yourself, do it to someone else". While this might come across as wrong, guilt or the fear of it usually prevents you doing something 'too' stupid to others.

www.samaritans.org

Drunk pirate

Sad story stress can be very over coming I nealy killed my self once but I was a stupid kid back then

zenith

Originally posted by m1ke
i've always imagined it as a split second decision you make when you're not in the right state of mind.

Just a single wobble on the dual carriageway as you drive home. That's all it would take, and no-one would ever know. A little push on the gas, and a swerve. Society would blame itself. More crash barriers would spring up.

I don't like the attitude of condeming those who comit suicide as cowards. It's a bit more complex than that. They're not heroes, either, in case somebody thinks that that's where I'm heading.

Suicide is an illness: it can strike suddenly, it can have fatal consequences. Talk of suicide should be treated as a cry for help, and should be followed up. Be blunt: ask them. It's not like it can make the situation any worse. If they deny, then they deny: people that are far closer to them than you will ever be will have already missed the signs. It's not your fault.

If they admit, then smother them with care and attention, and don't let them out of your sight until everybody - including the cause of their pain - is aware of the situation. Let them live with the guilt, not you, who would try to help. If you need support, or are finding it heavy going, ask for help: believe me, you'll never get kicked for crying wolf in this situation. Never, ever.

IANAL. This is not legal advice. The world is not a contract, either, though.

Victor

Originally posted by zenith
Just a single wobble on the dual carriageway as you drive home. That's all it would take, and no-one would ever know. A little push on the gas, and a swerve. ... I don't like the attitude of condeming those who comit suicide as cowards. It's a bit more complex than that.

I have little sympathy for someone who does soemthing like that.

(a) at least let yer family have an open coffin (decapitation by the steering wheel usually prohibits that).

(b) your likely to kill other people (not the ones you hate)

(c) it might not work and you can spend the next 20 years stuck in a hospital bed.

zenith

> I have little sympathy for someone who does soemthing like that.

I have little sympathy for those who are born ugly. It's sad that they attempt to thrust their deformed visages in front of my O'Briens' latte break.

<back to straight talking>

The kid who vomits on the school tour. He's sick. Is it his fault?

Thankew. I rest my case. I also recognise that the prosecution are attempting to argue that it's more complex than this, but blow a rasberry at them, and ask them to stop raising secondary school civics points with me. The guy who has to re-paint the wall: are his civil rights worth debating in this case? no?

I thought not. This is about prevention. Not punishment.

Victor

Originally posted by zenith
This is about prevention. Not punishment.

I know this. However killing random people solves nothing, it perpetuates the problem. (I know I'm scarily close to promoting killing particular people there but thats where I am at the moment).

neuro-praxis

When I was 13 I was clinically depressed and considered suicide. It's not an emotional issue for me - I now realise that 60% of teenagers are clinically depressed at some period during their youth. It's not properly recognised as a problem. Moody teenagers are often actually severely unhappy.

There wasn't actually anything wrong with my life, I just didn't want to live. Getting up was like torture. I slept as much as I could so that the day would be gone more quickly. I was popular at school and got top grades, had a good relationship with my parents and brother, had some wonderful friends, lots of hobbies and interests...but there was just this short period (say, 3 months) when life became meaningless for me and I wanted to be dead. I convinced myself that I was utterly worthless and ugly and unloved. I just wasn't myself. And the weird thing is, I didn't know I was depressed. It was only when my mum asked me one day, "Where has my daughter gone?" that I realised my personality had disappeared. It came to a head after that.

Now that I'm miles away from that period of time, and effectively I'm a different person (all grown up now ) I see things differently. I totally feel that suicide is a morally reprehensible thing to do to the people around you. I firmly believe that there is no situation that's worth killing yourself over. I've had occasional days in my life since then when I've felt terribly down, but suicide would never enter my head now.

I really feel that it has a lot to do with maturity. I think that a mature person will know that nothing is insurmountable.

I don't know if I've said anything relevant or helpful. I'm very sad for your loss, Scott.

Shinji

Talk of suicide should be treated as a cry for help

I've come to a simple belief on this one, which I reckon is backed up by the psychology behind this type of situation.

If someone talks openly about suicide or depression or hating life, they're probably okay. They know they have people they can talk to about this stuff... They're calling for help, for attention, but they're not actually about to kill themselves.

It's when they go quiet that the problem arises. Humans are social animals; we group, we interact. When that stops working properly, that's when there's a real problem.

The person close to suicide isn't the one who cries on your shoulder and talks about ending it all (this doesn't mean not to give them attention and help them out; that's your role as a friend, it's your responsibility almost). The person close to suicide is the one who talks to nobody and seems to be invisible; or more worryingly again, and most shockingly when it happens, the happy, smiling, socially functional person who just never, ever talks about anything personal and never seems to let emotions surface.

As to my own opinions on it as an act... It's cowardly, but who the hell can be a hero all their lives?

Drunk pirate

Yes suicide is a very upseting solution to things-see when your a teenager, people don't take you seriosly and start slaging you if you try and tell them about your depression etc. Thats why suicide is a likly option for teens-olso I heard somwhere it's also liked to puberty aswell....

Karl Hungus

A friend of mine killed himself in a game of chicken once.
If you think suicide is a stupid way to go, then what the hell is this?

Shortly afterwards a friend of his who was there at the time blew his own brains out.
I didn't know him.

I have another friend who is currently killing himself off with as much drugs, drink and smoke as he can.
He had the same birthday as the friend who was killed, and had known him longer than me.

[edit]Not gonna talk about this bit.[/edit]

amp

I once went into alt.suicide.holiday and asked why there were far less posters than there used to be.

But seriously though, if you feel suicide is the only way out then you're wrong. You're just going through a bad patch and things will always get better.

I knew someone who attempted it when he was around 15 by drinking copper sulpate in water because he knew he was going to do badly in some exams, they weren't even important. Madness. Thankfully though he just puked his ring up. He had a hard time explaining to his parents why his puke was blue

Yurmasyurda

I've no real comment on this apart from the fact it made me sad my condolences to you and the family of your friend.

sceptre

Originally posted by Shinji


If someone talks openly about suicide or depression or hating life, they're probably okay. They know they have people they can talk to about this stuff... They're calling for help, for attention, but they're not actually about to kill themselves.

It's when they go quiet that the problem arises. Humans are social animals; we group, we interact. When that stops working properly, that's when there's a real problem.

<snipped for space-saving>

Agree fairly strongly with that one. Now I do know of at least one person who talked about it before killing herself but as a general rule I believe it to be the case.

davros

I've just been listening to a radio piece about an Irish website for those who are suicidal or know someone suicidal.

The Black Dog