Yet more urban legends

Stephen · 05-02-2000 4:10am #1

An employee for USAir, who happened to have the last name of GAY, got on a plane recently using one of his company's "Free Flight" programs. However, when Mr. Gay tried to take his seat, he found it being occupied by a paying passenger. So, not to make a fuss, he simply chose another seat.

Unknown to Mr. Gay, another USAir flight at the airport experienced mechanical problems. The passengers of this other flight were being rerouted to various airplanes. A few were put on Mr. Gay's flight and anyone who was holding a "free" ticket was being "bumped".

Airline officials, armed with a list of these "freebee" ticket holders boarded the plane to remove the free ticket holders. Of course, our Mr. Gay was not sitting in his assigned seat as you may remember.

So when the Ticket Agent approached the seat where Mr. Gay was supposed to be sitting, she asked a startled customer "Are you Gay?". The man, shyly nodded that he was, at which point she demanded: "Then you have to get off the plane".

Our Mr. Gay, overhearing what the Ticket Agent had said, tried to clear up the situation: "You've got the wrong man. I'm Gay!". This caused an angry third passenger to yell "Hell, I'm gay too! They can't kick us all off!" Confusion reined as more an more passengers began yelling that USAir had no right to remove gays from their flights.

Police and paramedics made an early morning call to a motel to free a man whose penis was caught in a swimming pool suction fitting. A clerk at the Scottish Inn motel made a 911 call at 4:45 a.m. Friday, saying the 33-year-old man was trapped in the swimming pool.
The pool's pump was shut off before paramedics arrived, but the man still could not free himself because his penis had become swollen. Paramedics inserted a lubricant around the suction fitting, and authorities freed the man after about 40 minutes.

The man, who had rented a room at the motel, told police he had gone swimming about 12:30 a.m. He was treated at Lakeland Regional Medical Center.

The responding police officer's report stated the following: "As I approached the man, I could see his pants were down to his knees and his penis was stuck in a suction hole located on the north side of the swimming pool." The police officers shut off the pool's pump but that didn't do the trick. Robert Cheuvront's penis remained stuck. Unfortunately for him, it had become swollen by the battering it had received before the pump was turned off.

Efforts by the police to free him failed, so the paramedics were summoned. Lubricant was applied around the pipe fitting in the hope that the poor man would become unstuck. Eventually, after nearly an hour of alternating delicate maneuvering and strenuous pulling efforts, Cheuvront popped out of the suction pipe. The paramedics took him to a nearby hospital, and a spokesman there later later announced the man had been released after treatment for bruised genitalia.

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