Insults

Macker

All that you are you owe to your parents. Why don't you send them a penny and square the account?

Any similarity between you and a human is purely coincidental!

Anyone who told you to be yourself couldn't have given you worse advice.

Are you always so stupid or is today a special occasion?

Are your parents siblings?

As an outsider, what do you think of the human race?

Better at sex than anyone; now all he needs is a partner.

Calling you stupid would be an insult to stupid people.

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Do you ever wonder what life would be like if you'd had enough oxygen at birth?

Do you want people to accept you as you are or do you want them to like you?

Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent!

Don't let your mind wander -- it's too little to be let out alone.

Don't thank me for insulting you. It was my pleasure.

Don't think, it may sprain your brain!

Don't you have a terribly empty feeling ---- in your skull?

Don't you love nature, despite what it did to you?

Don't you need a license to be that ugly?

Every girl has the right to be ugly, but you abused the privilege!

Go ahead, tell them everything you know. It'll only take 10 seconds.

Have you considered suing your brains for non-support?

He has a mind like a steel trap -- always closed!

He is living proof that man can live without a brain!

He is the kind of a man that you would use as a blueprint to build an idiot.

He's not stupid; he's possessed by a retarded ghost.

Here's 20 cents. Call all your friends and bring back some change!

Hi! I'm a human being! What are you?

How did you get here? Did someone leave your cage open?

I'd like to see things from your point of view but I can't seem to get my head that far up my ass.

I bet your brain feels as good as new, seeing that you've never used it.

I bet your mother has a loud bark!

I could make a monkey out of you, but why should I take all the credit?

I don't consider you a vulture. I consider you something a vulture would eat.

I don't know what makes you so stupid, but it really works!

I don't think you are a fool. But then what's MY opinion against thousands of others?

I hear the only place you're ever invited is outside.

I hear you were born on a farm. Any more in the litter?

I heard you got a brain transplant and the brain rejected you!

I heard you went to have your head examined but the doctors found nothing there.

I know you are nobody's fool but maybe someone will adopt you.

I thought of you all day today. I was at the zoo.

I would ask you how old you are but I know you can't count that high.

I'd like to help you out. Which way did you come in?

I'd like to leave you with one thought...but I'm not sure you have a place to put it!

I'd love to go out with you, but my favorite commercial is on TV.

I'll never forget the first time we met - although I'll keep trying.

I'm busy now. Can I ignore you some other time?

I've seen people like you, but I had to pay admission!

If I ever need a brain transplant, I'd choose yours because I'd want a brain that had never been used.

If I had a face like yours. I'd sue my parents!

If I want any **** outta you I'll squeeze your head.

If ignorance is bliss, you must be the happiest person alive.

If we were to kill everybody who hates you, it wouldn't be murder; it would be genocide!

If what you don't know can't hurt you, she's invulnerable.

If you stand close enough to him, you can hear the ocean.

If your brain was chocolate it wouldn't fill an M&M.

Keep talking, someday you'll say something intelligent.

Learn from your parents' mistakes - use birth control!

Look, don't go to a mind reader; go to a palmist; I know you've got a palm.

Never enter a battle of wits unarmed.

Pardon me, but you've obviously mistaken me for someone who gives a damn.

So ugly, robbers give him their masks to wear.

So, a thought crossed your mind? Must have been a long and lonely journey.

Some day you will find yourself - and wish you hadn't.

There is no vaccine against stupidity.

Whatever is eating you - must be suffering horribly.

When you fell out of the ugly tree, you hit every branch on the way down.

When you were a child your mother wanted to hire someone to take care of you but the Mafia wanted too much.

You're nobody's fool. Let's see if we can get someone to adopt you.

(You're so stupid) you couldn't pour piss out of a boot if the instructions were on the bottom of the heel.

Just remember: If at first you don't succeed, buy her another beer.

Hey, don't bother me while I'm doing this. I don't bother you when you're at home getting your jollies with the dustbuster.

(When he says he plays sports) Sorry, whacking it isn't exactly a sport.

Nice shirt. How many boxes of Cap'n Crunch did you have to eat to get it?

The farthest you'll get in life is Jerry Springer.

Bottle_of_Smoke

Did your parents ever ask you to run away from home?

Marvellous!