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Updated Lesson in Political Economy & Business

  • 23-02-2002 8:05pm
    #1
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,648 ✭✭✭


    Feudalism
    You have two cows. Your lord takes some of the milk.

    Fascism
    You have two cows. The government takes both, hires you to
    take care of them, and sells you the milk.

    Communism
    You have two cows. Your neighbours help take care of them and you share the milk.

    Totalitarianism
    You have two cows. The government takes them both and denies they ever existed and drafts you into the army. Milk is banned.

    Capitalism
    You have two cows. You sell one and buy a bull. Your herd multiplies, and the economy grows. You sell them and retire on the income.

    Enronism
    You have two cows. You sell three of them to your publicly listed company, using letters of credit opened by your brother-in-law
    at the bank, then execute a debt/equity swap with an associated general offer so that you get all four cows back, with a tax exemption for five cows. The milk rights of the six cows are transferred via an intermediary to a Cayman Island company secretly owned by the majority shareholder who sells the rights to all seven cows back to your listed company. The annual
    report says the company owns eight cows, with an option on one more.

    AIBism
    What cows? We have Cows? How many? Oh my God somebody's been buying cows!

    AN AMERICAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You sell one, and force the other to produce the milk of four cows. You are surprised when the cow drops dead.

    A FRENCH CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You go on strike because you want three cows.

    A JAPANESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You redesign them so they are one-tenth the size of an ordinary cow and produce twenty times the milk. You then create clever cow cartoon images called Cowkimon and market them World-Wide.

    A GERMAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You reengineer them so they live for 100 years, eat once a month, and milk themselves.

    A BRITISH CORPORATION
    You have two cows. Both are mad.

    AN ITALIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows, but you don't know where they are. You break for lunch.

    A RUSSIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You count them and learn you have five cows. You count them again and learn you have 42 cows. You count them again and learn you have 12 cows. You stop counting cows and open another bottle of vodka.

    SWISS CORPORATION
    You have 5000 cows, none of which belong to you. You charge others for storing them.

    AN INDIAN CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You worship them.

    A CHINESE CORPORATION
    You have two cows. You have 300 people milking them. You claim full employment, high bovine productivity, and arrest the newsman who reported the numbers.

    AN ISRAELI CORPORATION
    So, there are these two Jewish cows, right? They open a milk factory, an ice cream store, and then sell the movie rights. They send their calves to Harvard to become doctors. So, who needs people?

    A WELSH CORPORATION
    You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.........

    << Fio >>


Comments

  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,839 ✭✭✭bubbles



    A WELSH CORPORATION
    You have two cows. That one on the left is kinda cute.........

    ROFL... Funny because its true...

    :)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 747 ✭✭✭Biffa Bacon


    Brilliant!

    I'm surprised it hasn't been moved yet though.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 359 ✭✭Aspro


    Very good smiles.
    Especially the Japanese and Welsh ones.
    Here's another cow - Moo-ry Harney:)
    Sorry.......!!


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