a joke and a few limericks for all

Hellrazer

Limericks...

There was a young lady from Leith,
Who would circumcise men with her teeth,
It wasn't for fame,
Or love of the game
But to get at the cheese underneath.

There was a young actress from Crewe,
Who remarked as the vicar withdrew,
"The Bishop was quicker, and better and slicker,
And two inches longer than you."

There was a young vampire called Mabel,
Whose periods were always quite stable,
At every full moon she took out a spoon,
And drank herself under the table.
> >
There was a young plumber called Lee,
Who was plumbing his girl with great glee,
She said "Stop your plumbing,
I think someone's coming",
Said the plumber still plumbing "It's me"!

A kinky young girl called McGill,
Tried a dynamite stick for a thrill,
They found her vagina, in North Carolina,
And bits of her tits in Brazil.
> >
There was a young man from Pitlochrie,
Making love to his girl in the rockery,
She said "Oy you've cum, all over my bum,
This isn't a shag it's a mockery".
> >
There was a young girl called Molly,
Who fancied a bit in a quarry.
She laid on her back, and opened her crack.
And a driver backed in with a lorry.
> >
There once was a young man from Harrow,
Whose dick was as big as a marrow.
He said to his tart, "Try this for a start.
My balls are outside on a barrow."



The Nuns ..............

There were two nuns. One of them was known as Sister Mathematical
(SM),
and the other one was known as Sister Logical (SL). It is getting
> > dark,

and they are still far away from the convent.

SM: Have you noticed that a man has been following us for the past thirty-eight and a half minutes? I wonder what he wants.

SL: It's logical. He wants to rape us.

SM: Oh, no! At this rate he will reach us in 15 minutes at the most.
What can we do?

SL: The only logical thing to do of course is to walk faster.

SM: It's not working.

SL: Of course it's not working. The man did the only logical thing.
He started to walk faster, too.
SM: So, what shall we do? At this rate he will reach us in one minute.

SL: The only logical thing we can do is split. You go that way, and
I'll go this way. He can't follow us both.
So the man decided to Follow Sister Logical. Sister Mathematical
arrives at the convent and is worried about what has happened to Sister
logical.

Then Sister Logical arrives.

SM: Sister Logical! Thank God you are here! Tell me what happened!

SL: The only logical thing happened. The man couldn't follow us
both, so he followed me.

SM: Yes, yes! But what happened then?

SL: The only logical thing happened. I started to run as fast as I
could, and he started to run as fast as he could.

SM: And?

SL: The only logical thing happened. He reached me.

SM: Oh, dear! What did you do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. I lifted my dress up.

SM: Oh, Sister! What did the man do?

SL: The only logical thing to do. He pulled down his pants.
SM: Oh, no! What happened then?

SL: Isn't it logical, Sister? A nun with her dress up can run faster
than a man with his pants down.




And for those of you who thought it would be dirty, say two Hail Marys.

Lucifer

LOL i like the joke...

hail mary .......x2 :P

Pugsley

rofl,that 2nd one is brilliant!!

strat

rofl
tham limericks are class

LMAO at them nund