lunch

ayatollah

A guy walks into a pub and sees a sign hanging over the bar-

Cheese Sandwich: $1.50
Chicken Sandwich: $2.50
Hand Job: $10.00

Checking his wallet for the necessary payment, he walks up to the bar
and beckons to one of the three exceptionally attractive
blondes serving drinks to an eager-looking group of men.

"Yes?" she enquires with a knowing smile, "can I help you?"

"I was wondering", whispers the man, "are you the one who gives the
hand-jobs?"

"Yes", she purrs, "I am."

The man replies "Well wash your ****ing hands, I want a cheese sandwich."

ayatollah

Presidential Clock

This is the FBI summary of a conversation that took place this week
between President Clinton and Ashley, a brand new intern in the White
House.

Ashley walked into the White House for her first day of her internship
and was greeted by the President. After a short tour of the White
House the President asked "Would you like to see the Presidential Clock?"

Ashley looked troubled and said "I don't know Mr. President. I have
heard some pretty bad things about you. I don't think that would be a
good idea."

"Nonsense" said the President. "It's just a clock."

Ashley agreed and the President led her into the Oval Office where
they were alone. He closed the door, dropped his pants, and pulled it out.
Ashley gasped. "Oh that's not the Presidential Clock, that's the
Presidential Cock!"

To which the President responded: "Ashley honey, once you put a face
and two hands on it, it's a clock!"

ayatollah

Redneck Virgin

Two rednecks fall in love and get married and they go on their honeymoon. The man comes back home without his wife.

One of his family members asks, "Where is your wife?" He answers, "Well, she was a virgin so I killed her."

The family member asked, in shock, "Why did you kill her jut because she's a virgin?!?"

The redneck replies, "If she isn't good enough for her family, she's not good enough for ours."

Pugsley

'The 1st one is 'rofl'
The 2nd one is 'lmao'
The 3rd one is 'confusing '

Kolodny

I like the first one best. Hadn't heard it before.:)