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Saddam Hussein

  • 30-01-2002 10:19am
    #1
    flyz
    Closed Accounts Posts: 536 ✭✭✭


    Hussein threatens world peace following theft of Magic Door Technology

    World's psychopath mustachio Saddam Hussein is believed to have gained control of
    Bosco's Magic Door and intends to use it in his plan of world domination, says
    American military top brass.

    The door's technology was brought to the attention of Saddam Hussein when the
    national TV station Allahababababad YWRX was showing episodes of Bosco, dubbed for
    the Iraqi market. Hussein, obviously amazed by RTE's technological ability to
    transport people to far away places, ordered his Elite Guard to seize the Magic
    Door from RTE's storage warehouse.

    Fear and panic spread through the international community after hearing the
    shocking news and world supremo, US president George Double-yuh, immediately
    responded by bombing the **** out Baghdad. "With this technology," said RTE
    director general Bob Collins, "Saddam Hussein can launch a full scale attack
    anywhere he chooses, anywhere in the world - providing his Elite Translators
    have properly decoded the magic chant." However, top anarcho-linguist Baxter
    Baxter explained that the Magic Door rhyme is actually impossible to translate
    into Arabic "so it's unlikely they'll get to their bunkers yet alone Washington DC."

    Black Republican, Colin Powell, echoed these concerns by issuing a state of national
    emergency, placing "a soldier on every corner - and that's pretty secure given the
    pride we Americans have for straight roads." No one is sure when or where Hussein
    will use the door but every country of the world is preparing for surprise attacks.
    "We don't know where this rat is going to strike first but it could even be your very
    own bathroom," warned Powell.

    Dr. Patrick O'Lafferty, RTE Mad Scientist and inventor of the Magic Door, however,
    insists there is no cause for alarm. "We made the Magic Door some time ago and in
    those days, we could only make it respond to stupid rhymes so the users can't tell
    it where they want to go," explained Dr. O'Lafferty. "Technically, the only place
    Saddam can launch an attack is Dublin Zoo and that won't do him much good; I'd like
    to see him try firing a Scud out of the lemur pen."


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