For Men Tired of Receiving Male-Bashing Jokes

flyz · 17-01-2002 10:45am #1

Hey I know I'm female but they're still funny

How many men does it take to open a beer?
None. It should be opened by the time she
brings it.

Why is a Laundromat a really bad place to pick up
a woman?
Because a woman who can't even afford a washing
machine will probably never be able to support
you.

Why do women have smaller feet than men?
It's one of those "evolutionary things" that
allows them to stand closer to the kitchen sink.

How do you know when a woman is about to say
something smart?
When she starts her sentence with "A man once
told me..."

How do you fix a woman's watch?
You don't. There is a clock on the oven.

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.

If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in
first?
The dog, of course, he'll shut up once you let
him in.

What's worse than a Male Chauvinist Pig?
A woman who won't do what she's told.

I married Miss Right. I just didn't know her
first name was Always.

Scientists have discovered a food that diminishes
a woman's sex drive by 90%.
It's called a Wedding Cake.

Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring,
Wedding Ring, Suffering.

Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me
"What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"

In the beginning, God created the earth and
rested.
Then God created Man and rested.
Then God created Woman.
Since then, neither God nor Man has
rested.

Why do men die before their wives?
They want to.

A beggar walked up to a well-dressed woman
shopping on Rodeo Drive and said, "I haven't eaten
anything for days."
She looked at him and said, "God, I wish I had
your willpower."

Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.

A man inserted an advertisement in the
classified: Wife Wanted." The next day he received a
hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

The most effective way to remember your wife's
birthday is to forget it once.

Women will never be equal to men until they can
walk down the street with a bald head and a beer
gut, and still think they are beautiful.

po0k · 17-01-2002 11:45am

Much appreciated

Made me feel beter about myself.

/me spams #fortress.ie with link......

Zoot · 17-01-2002 7:58pm

Why do men break wind more than women?
Because women can't shut up long enough to
build up the required pressure.

made me burst out laughing and gathered a crowd!

Cheers!

Victor · 18-01-2002 7:05am

Originally posted by flyz
Women will never be equal to men until they can walk down the street with a bald head and a beer gut, and still think they are beautiful.

Justice exists !!!!

Sangre · 20-01-2002 3:25pm

LOL quite a few good ones
'a man once told me..........'

Hunter-FLUID · 21-01-2002 12:11pm

If your dog is barking at the back door and your
wife is yelling at the front door, whom do you let in
first?
The dog, of course, he'll shut up once you let
him in.
Marriage is a 3-ring circus: Engagement Ring,
Wedding Ring, Suffering.
Our last fight was my fault: My wife asked me
"What's on the TV?"
I said, "Dust!"
Young Son: "Is it true, Dad, I heard that in some
parts of Africa a man doesn't know his wife until he
marries her?"
Dad: That happens in every country, son.
A man inserted an advertisement in the
classified: Wife Wanted." The next day he received a
hundred letters. They all said the same thing:
"You can have mine."

LOL classic stuff... lmao

For Men Tired of Receiving Male-Bashing Jokes

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