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Drinks

  • 16-01-2002 9:54pm
    #1
    Lucifer
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,467 ✭✭✭


    Seven bartenders were asked if they could identify personality on what drinks were chosen. Though interviewed separately, they concurred on almost all counts.

    The results:

    IF WOMEN DRINK:
    Drink : Beer.
    Personality : Casual, low maintenance; down to earth.
    Approach : Challenge her to a game of pool.

    Drink : Blender drinks with umbrella.
    Personality : Flaky, annoying, dizzy, and a pain in the ass.
    Approach : Avoid her, unless you want to be her cabin boy.

    Drink : Mixed drinks - no umbrellas
    Personality : Mature, has picky taste; knows what she wants.
    Approach : If she wants you, she'll send YOU a drink.

    Drink : Wine - (bottled not 4 litre cask)
    Personality : Conservative and classy, sophisticated.
    Approach : Try and weave Paris and clothing into the conversation.

    Drink : Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc
    Personality : Easy; thinks she is trendy and sophisticated actually has
    absolutely no clue.
    Approach : Make her feel smarter than she is...and you're in.

    Drink : Baileys.
    Personality : Annoying voice, bit of a tart.
    Approach : Stand close and mention the alley next to the pub.

    Drink : Shorts (Vodka, Aftershock etc.).
    Personality : Hanging with male pals or looking to get drunk...and naked.
    Approach : Easiest hit in the pub. Nothing to do but wait.

    IF MEN DRINK:
    As always, very simple and clear cut.

    Cider : He's probably under-aged and wants to get laid.

    Cheap Domestic Beer : He's poor / student and wants to get laid.

    Premium Local Beer : He likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Bitter : He's old, he likes good beer and wants to get laid.

    Imported Beer : He likes expensive beer and wants to get laid

    Guinness : The man is a rapist and will get laid one way or another.

    Wine : He's hoping that the wine thing will give him a sophisticated image and help him get laid.

    Vodka or Brandy : Extremely horny hound, would shag a warm scarf. Desperate to get laid.

    Port : Thinks he's sophisticated, secretly likes men and wants to get laid.

    Whisky : He doesn't give two ****s about anything and will hit anyone who will get in his way of getting laid.

    Jack Daniels : Not as masculine as the whisky drinker, knows all about feminine activities (knitting, crochet etc.) to weasel himself into getting laid.

    Tequila : Likes fighting almost as much as getting laid.

    Bacardi Breezer, Smirnoff ice, Vodka mule, etc : He's gay (Blatantly).



    Cheers!!!!!


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