Santas BAD day

Isegrim

Dear Santa
I wud like a kool toy space ranjur fer Xmas. Iv
ben a gud boy all yeer.
Yer Frend, BiLLy

Dear Billy,
Nice spelling. You're on your way to a career in
lawn care.
How about I send you a f**king book so you can learn
to read
and write? I'm giving your older brother the space
ranger.
At least HE can spell!
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
I have been a good girl all year, and the only thing
I ask
for is peace and joy in the world for everybody!
Love, Sarah

Dear Sarah,
You're parents smoked pot when they had you, didn't
they?
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
I don't know if you can do this, but for Christmas,
I'd like
for my mommy and daddy to get back together.
Please see what you can do.
Love, Teddy

Dear Teddy,
Look, your dad's banging the babysitter like a
screen door
in a hurricane. Do you think he's gonna give that
up to come
back to your frigid mom, who rides his ass
constantly? It's
time to give up that dream. Let me get you some nice
Legos
instead.
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
I want a new bike, a Playstation, a train, some G.I.
Joes, a
dog, a drum kit, a pony and a tuba.
Love, Francis

Dear Francis,
Who names their kid "Francis" nowadays? I bet you're
gay.
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
I left milk and cookies for you under the tree, and
I left
carrots for your reindeer outside the back door.
Love,
Susan

Dear Susan,
Milk gives me the runs and carrots make the deer
fart in my
face when riding in the sleigh. You want to do me a
favor?
Leave me a bottle of scotch.
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
What do you do the other 364 days of the year? Are
you busy
making toys?
Your friend, Thomas

Dear Thomas,
All the toys are made in China. I have a condo in
Vegas,
where I spend most of my time making low-budget
porno
films. I unwind by drinking myself silly and
squeezing the
asses of cocktail waitresses while losing money at
the
craps table. Hey, you wanted to know.
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
Do you see us when we're sleeping, do you really
know
when we're awake, like in the song?
Love, Jessica

Dear Jessica,
Are you really that gullible? Good luck in whatever
you
do. I'm skipping your house.
Santa

---

Dear Santa,
I really really want a puppy this year. Please
please please
PLEASE PLEASE could I have one?
Timmy

Timmy,
That whiney begging **** may work with your folks,
but that crap doesn't work with me. You're getting a
sweater
again.
Santa

---

Dearest Santa,
We don't have a chimney in our house, how do you get
into
our home?
Love, Marky

Mark,
First, stop calling yourself "Marky", that's why
you're
getting your ass whipped at school. Second, you
don't live in
a house, you live in a low-rent apartment complex.
Third, I
get inside your pad just like all the burglars do,
through
your bedroom window.
Sweet Dreams,
Santa

Mr.Applepie

That santa is a bastard!

Static

Come on applepie, we all know he doesn't exist. 8)

][cEMAN**

Yeah I do.....but shhhhhh....people aren't meant to know it's me.

BTW those alligations of child stalking are ludicrous!!! I just have to see who wants to be naughty and who's niiiiiiiiiiiiice hehe

Pugsley

Originally posted by ][cEMAN**
BTW those alligations of child stalking are ludicrous!!! I just have to see who wants to be naughty and who's niiiiiiiiiiiiice hehe

*spank* downboy

Spunog UIE

BRILLO STUFF

Sangre

That proves it!
I knew that ne1 who watches you while you sleep couldn't be nice. And what is up with that red, its totally last season!

Mr.Applepie

Originally posted by ][cEMAN**
BTW those alligations of child stalking are ludicrous!!! I just have to see who wants to be naughty and who's niiiiiiiiiiiiice hehe

Ah so thats what you wre doing to timo eh?

-RaY-

soem good stuff!