ho ho ho santa

WhiteWashMan

>
>Q: Why do reindeer have red noses?
>A: They are not equipped with ABS and thus tend to bump into
> things on slippery surfaces. This is why Santa is often seen
> with a red nose (the sleigh doesn't have an airbag, either).
>
>Q: Why does Santa use Elves?
>A: There is no trade union for Elves. They're easy to exploit.
>
>Q: Is there really a Mrs. Claus?
>A: Highly unlikely. Since Santa is surrounded by male figures
> (Elves, reindeer named Rudolph, Donner, Blitzen etc.) his
> sexual preference seems to tend towards homosexuality. He is
> said to have some problems finding a gerontophile/zoophile Elf
> for a threesome with a reindeer, though.
>
>Q: Does Santa really live on the North Pole?
>A: Uncertain. However, rumor has it that the story of Santa and
> the North Pole has nothing to do with the Arctic, but that
> Santa is known to frequently ask the Elves and reindeer if he
> can shove his pole up north. Obviously, this is related to
> the cryptic description "up where the sun don't shine", which
> applies to both the North Pole and *******s in general.
>
>Q: Does Santa really work all year round making toys?
>A: Get real! Check the box in which the Christmas gift came! Does
> it say "Made on the North Pole"? ("Made in China", more likely)
>
>Q: Then what does he DO all year?
>A: Uncertain. Chasing Elves and reindeer, most likely. Maybe he
> spends his winters in Florida.
>
>Q: Is the story about the little angel and the Christmas tree
> true?
>A: Without a doubt. Santa has a temper and can develop a nasty
> attitude (he doesn't take stress too well).
>
>Q: If so, why do the little angels on Christmas trees look happy
> (given the fact they have a tree up theirs)?
>A: Little angels are known to be kinky.
>
>Q: Do the polar bears on the North Pole cause Santa any trouble?
>A: Not since Santa equipped the guard Elves with M-61 submachine
> guns.
>
>Q: So Santa is basically a gun-crazy, homosexual, angry old man
> who exploits little Elves, fools around all day, and drives
> around in a sleigh that lacks basic security measures?
>A: You forgot about the bestiality thing.

SantaHoe

H0W DARE YOU, BA$TARD!

TwoShedsJackson

Where the fu<k were you this avvie then Eamo??? No time for the people who put you where you are now, what with your fancy 'life' and all