Advice please - Having an affair.

ThreadKiller

Not me.

Just got a hotmail email from a mate of mine which was very obviously intended for someone else - namely someone with an email address very similiar to me (frightningly similiar).

It's basically a mail to a girl detailing what he's going to do to her & asking her if she'd be up with a threesome with another mate of his (a guy who I've only met a couple of times thankfully). Attached was a nude photo of him in shall we say a very compromising position... (Really didn't need to see it in all it's glory) & a nude photo of the other guy, taken at a different place.

From what I gather from the email this affair has been going on for several months now & is quite explicit. Now he didn't use his normal hotmail address & signed the mail with a different name, but I can see his face (& other stuff) & recognise the room in the background of the webcam pic.

The problem is he got married two years ago & has a four year old child. (Incidently the other mate he want's to have the threesome with is his brother in law!). He states that he's not into anything male on male but that the two of them would be interested in.... well you get the picture. (incidently he knew this guy years before he started seeing his wife).

Now I don't think he realises that I have this email (& seriously doubt he would have sent it with the photo attached). I don't really know his wife that well. But WTF do I do ?

Do I forget about it & try to erase the image from my mind ?
Do I tell him I know ?

What ???

seamus

Ugh. Not a nice state of affairs. If you don't see this mate often, I would email him back, saying something like, 'I know, but I don't really care, just make sure I don't get another one of these', and then grin and bear it everytime you see him out with the wife. If he's a good mate, drinking buddy style, mention something about it next time you're out(and slightly drunk), but don't mention the email at first. And the golden rule: If you don't wanna get involved, DO NOT tell your girlfriend/best friend/drunken stranger, 'cos then you'l be flucked when it comes out. I've never had to deal with anything quite like this, but If you don't really care what he's doing, at least mention that his bítch didn't get her email

Gordon

Yes, definately, you have to let him know and try to advise him to come clean. Poor child too, it will be awful for the wee person to find out later on in life.

As Seamus says at least mention that his bítch didn't get her email

Sad situation

Hobbes

I would set up a second email account and reply with that saying that she thinks someone is reading her email as some of them have been deleted and to use that address.

I would do the same for the woman as well. Then I would reply and get the two of them set up nice and good, along with the other chap and arrange for his wife to turn up in the middle of it (old surprise party always works and has lots of her friends around).

Then sit back and watch and act all innocent.

But only because I'm bored.

Otherwise I would tell him to cop the fuk on.

GoneShootin

print the pic

send it in a letter to your mate

bribe him to give you cash to keep you from distributing said pic

when you have all his belongings dump him as a friend cos he's sick

and thats my spam

azezil

Woo now there's a Jerry Springer job if ever i seen one god n i thought my brother was bad! :eek: lol

Prolly best to let him know that u know, n encourage (rather forcefully ) him to cop on... not much point in exposeing it just yet, give him a chance to change but if he continues its better for all concerned that the wife knows.

swiss

Originally posted by Hobbes:
I would set up a second email account and reply with that saying that she thinks someone is reading her email as some of them have been deleted and to use that address.

I would do the same for the woman as well. Then I would reply and get the two of them set up nice and good, along with the other chap and arrange for his wife to turn up in the middle of it (old surprise party always works and has lots of her friends around).

Then sit back and watch and act all innocent.

rotf. Tut, tut Hobbes, what comes into your mind in Technical Support is seriously disturbing. Brilliant device for plotting revenge though, and excellent material, worthy of all kinds of blackmail and extortion.

Seriously though, that's quite a dilemma in which to find oneself. If something like that happened to me, and if it was someone I didn't know well, I think I'd pretty much try to ignore it, and pretend that I know nothing when I see him again. However, there is also the possibility that he realised after he sent the email that he had made the mistake of sending it to the wrong person.

However, the wife and his daughter have a right not to be treated like this. It really depends on whether you're willing to bring this to the attention of him and his wife, with the danger of a resulting marraige breakdown and/or his viewing you with hostility, or whether you feel that sleeping dogs should be left undisturbed.

If you do broach this subject with him, like seamus said, at least let him know that the biatch didn't get the email. I wonder if he'd try to send it to her again...

*cough*
...hobbes idea is still the best...
*splutter*

Victor

Hit reply and say "I didn't get the attachment, but I'll send you back some jokes later today" and sign it as yourself.

Red Moose

I think that the only decent thing to do to resolve the matter is to either:

(i) Post it to Cliff Yablonski Hates You (http://www.somethingawful.com/cliff/ihateyou/

or

(ii) Am I Hot or Not? http://www.hotornot.com

....and then forward the URL to all their friends.

Typedef

Don't be stupid.
Dont come clean, just don't get caught. :rolleyes:

Hobbes

Originally posted by swiss

rotf. Tut, tut Hobbes, what comes into your mind in Technical Support is seriously disturbing

Technical support?

Xterminator

Thats a bit of a ****ty situation to be in.

'Cause there not close friends or family, I would probably take a step back, and not get involved.

I would not send the pictures etc back over email, but you might send a small message to the tune of 'I received this note, please dont let it happen again'.

Would he know it was you it he saw your email address? If so, do you want him to know u know?

'Cause if the wife finds out in the future you could be suspect numero uno.

So dont say anything, and maybe send an anomomous email back, letting him know it went astray!

X

(P.S. He'll burn in hell, if you belive in that sort of thing, or be reborn as a worm etc.)

bonkey

If you dont really want to get involved then, send him a mail saying :


"Dear <insert mates name>,

you are acting like a complete dick. If you wish to continue to act like a dick, please do so a bit more intelligently and learn how to type fscking e-mail addresses correctly. If you cant even send e-mails to the right person, how the hell will you keep your wife from finding out."

Oh - and send back the email he sent you as an attachment, complete with pics.

jc

ThreadKiller

Cheers guys. I decided to delete the email & I sent one back to him saying he sent me something he shouldn't have by mistake. I got a phone call last night all jokey/panicky - "Alright mate how's it going ? Had you going for a while there didn't I ?" I told him it's none of my business but he should be very careful about things in the future. He asked me what I meant, it was only a gag. & I just said "whatever" & hung up. Hopefully it'll put the ****s up him & he'll sort it out on his own.

Evil Phil

Well, it's not really any of your business so I'd keep it to m'self as far as this guy and his wife/wife's family are concerned. But maybe you should give the intended recipient of this mail a ring. Sounds like she's up for a good time!

Greenbean

Darn, little late on this one. Imo the path you chose wasn't a terrible one and should keep your concious clean since you've made it clear you don't approve. But..

Do NOT tell the wife, just stay well clear of all that, people have been killed for saying less, lets just say its a messy path. You will constantly hear about guys running off with other women all through your life, in the end if you've gotta choose to stay out of things, unless she is closer to you. Chances are she already knows. Make a promise to yourself never to speak about it again - you'll need it the next time you're drunk and looking for something funny to chat about. In the end it his problem and choice, if he unfairly and accidently threw this situation at you - you did your best and now its out of your hands. Its likely hes not going to straight-up with you now from now on, cause he thinks you hold alot of power over him. Thats why Bonkey's reply would have sorted it out - it makes it sound like as far as you are prepared to go on about the matter.

I'm not sure you should have posted about it on a webboard either though All in all, that should be the end of it as far as you are concerned. Sorry if I'm sounding overbearing here, its only my opinion in the end of course.

Red Moose

I suppose it would have been more amusing if he sent the pictures and the message was "I send you these files in order to have your advice"