A few jokes (warning)

TheWolf

Been a while since I last posted, so here goes...


"Jane" was becoming frustrated with her husband's insistence that they have sex in the dark. Hoping to free her husband from his inhibitions, during a passionate evening, she flipped on the lamp-only to discover a cucumber in his hand.

"Is THIS what you've been using on me for the past 10 years!?!"

"Honey! Let me explain!"

"Why you sneaky bastard!" she screamed. "You impotent son of a bítch!!"

"Speaking of sneaky!" he interrupted, Maybe you'd care to explain our 2 kids!!!"

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Two guys are in a strip joint, one is sitting in front of the other. A woman comes on stage and starts stripping.

The guy in back says,"Oh yeah, Oh yeah!"

Then the first guys turns around and says,"hey man, shut up!" Then two women come out and start stripping.

The guy in back, once again, starts,"Yeah baby..mmmm....yeah!"

Once again the guy in front turns around and tells the man to be quiet. So three women come out and start stripping. The guy in back is silent.

The guy in front says,"Hey man, where's all your excitement now?"

The guy behind him says,"All over your back!"


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The man approached a very beautiful woman in a large supermarket and asked, "You know, I've lost my wife here in the supermarket. Can you talk to me for a couple of minutes?"

"Why?" she asks.

"Because every time I talk to a a beautiful woman, my wife appears out of nowhere."

TheWolf

A guy goes to the tatoo parlor and offers the tattoo artist £1,000 to put a £100 bill on his willie. The artist agrees, but is curious and asks the man why he wants to do this.

The man replies, "I have my reasons which I would rather not tell right now." So, the artist goes ahead and does the job. But, all the while he is anxious with curiosity over why this man wants a £100 bill on his penis. So, he tells the man that he really needs to know the reason why and says that the man can keep the £1000 he would have paid for the tatoo if he would just tell the reason for putting a £100 bill on his willie.

So, the man consents and offers these three reasons: "First, I like to play with my money. Second, I like to watch my money grow. And third, and most importantly, the next time my wife wants to blow £100, she can stay home to do it."

Pugsley

LMAO they're all brill
Nice sig as well m8

frood4t2

Brilliant.. I've been waiting, and Im not disappointed! Thanks Wolf

frood4t2