***ADULT CONTENT*** cybersex

Pugsley

For anyone that has spent just a few too many hours in #hotsex on IRC...

Online computer users often engage in what is affectionately known as
"cybersex". Often the fantasies typed into keyboards and shared
through Internet phone lines get pretty raunchy. However, as you'll see
below, one of the two cyber-surfers in the following transcript of an
online chat doesn't seem to quite get the point of cyber sex. Then again,
maybe he does...

Wellhung: Hello, Sweetheart. What do you look like?

Sweetheart: I am wearing a red silk blouse, a miniskirt and high heels. I
work out every day, I'm toned and perfect. My measurements are
36-24-36. What do you look like?

Wellhung: I'm 6'3" and about 250 pounds.I wear glasses and I have on a
pair of blue sweat pants I just bought from Walmart. I'm also wearing a
T-shirt with a few spots of barbecue sauce on it from dinner...it smells
funny.

Sweetheart: I want you.Would you like to screw me?

Wellhung: OK


Sweetheart: We're in my bedroom.There's soft music playing on
the stereo and candles on my dresser and night table.I'm looking up into
your eyes, smiling. My hand works its way down to your crotch and
begins to fondle your huge, swelling bulge.

Wellhung: I'm gulping, I'm beginning to sweat.

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up your shirt and kissing your chest.

Wellhung: Now I'm unbuttoning your blouse. My hands are trembling.

Sweetheart: I'm moaning softly.

Wellhung: I'm taking hold of your blouse and sliding it off slowly.

Sweetheart: I'm throwing my head back in pleasure.The cool silk slides
off my warm skin. I'm rubbing your bulge faster, pulling and rubbing.

Wellhung: My hand suddenly jerks spastically and accidentally rips a hole
in your blouse. I'm sorry.

Sweetheart: That's OK, it wasn't really too expensive.

Wellhung: I'll pay for it.

Sweetheart: Don't worry about it. I'm wearing a lacy black bra. My soft
breasts are rising and falling, as I breath harder and harder.

Wellhung: I'm fumbling with the clasp on your bra.I think it's stuck. Do you
have any scissors?

Sweetheart: I take your hand and kiss it softly.I'm reaching back undoing
the clasp. The bra slides off my body. The air caresses my breasts. My
nipples are erect for you.

Wellhung: How did you do that? I'm picking up the bra and inspecting the
clasp.

Sweetheart: I'm arching my back. Oh baby. I just want to feel your
tongue all over me.

Wellhung: I'm dropping the bra. Now I'm licking your, you know, breasts.

They're neat!

Sweetheart: I'm running my fingers through your hair. Now I'm nibbling
your ear.

Wellhung: I suddenly sneeze. Your breasts are covered with spit and
phlegm.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm so sorry. Really.

Sweetheart: I'm wiping your phlegm off my breasts with the remains of
my blouse.

Wellhung: I'm taking the sopping wet blouse from you. I drop it with a
plop.

Sweetheart: OK. I'm pulling your sweat pants down and rubbing
your hard tool.

Wellhung: I'm screaming like a woman. Your hands are cold! Yeeee!

Sweetheart: I'm pulling up my miniskirt. Take off my panties.

Wellhung: I'm pulling off your panties. My tongue is going all over, in and
out nibbling on you...umm... wait a minute.

Sweetheart: What's the matter?

Wellhung: I've got a pubic hair caught in my throat. I'm choking.

Sweetheart: Are you OK?

Wellhung: I'm having a coughing fit. I'm turning all red.

Sweetheart: Can I help?


Wellhung: I'm running to the kitchen, choking wildly. I'm fumbling through
the cabinets, looking for a cup. Where do you keep your cups?

Sweetheart: In the cabinet to the right of the sink.

Wellhung: I'm drinking a cup of water. There, that's better.

Sweetheart: Come back to me, lover.

Wellhung: I'm washing the cup now.

Sweetheart: I'm on the bed arching for you.

Wellhung: I'm drying the cup. Now I'm putting it back in the cabinet. And
now I'm walking back to the bedroom. Wait, it's dark, I'm lost. Where's the

bedroom?

Sweetheart: Last door on the left at the end of the hall.

Wellhung: I found it.

Sweetheart: I'm tuggin' off your pants. I'm moaning. I want you so badly.

Wellhung: Me too.

Sweetheart: Your pants are off. I kiss you passionately-our naked
bodies pressing each other.

Wellhung: Your face is pushing my glasses into my face. It hurts.

Sweetheart: Why don't you take off your glasses?

Wellhung: OK, but I can't see very well without them. I place the glasses

on the night table.

Sweetheart: I'm bending over the bed. Give it to me, baby!

Wellhung: I have to pee. I'm fumbling my way blindly across the room and
toward the bathroom.

Sweetheart: Hurry back, lover.

Wellhung: I find the bathroom and it's dark. I'm feeling around for the
toilet.
I lift the lid.

Sweetheart: I'm waiting eagerly for your return.

Wellhung: I'm done going. I'm feeling around for the flush handle, but I
can't find it. Uh-oh!

Sweetheart: What's the matter now?

Wellhung: I've realized that I've peed into your laundry hamper. Sorry
again. I'm walking back to the bedroom now, blindly feeling my way.

Sweetheart: Mmm, yes. Come on.

Wellhung: OK, now I'm going to put my...you know ...thing...in your...you
know...woman's thing.

Sweetheart: Yes! Do it, baby! Do it!

Wellhung: I'm touching your smooth butt. It feels so nice. I kiss your neck.

Umm, I'm having a little trouble here.

Sweetheart: I'm moving my ass back and forth, moaning. I can't stand it

another second! Slide in! Screw me now!

Wellhung: I'm flaccid.

Sweetheart: What?

Wellhung: I'm limp. I can't sustain an erection.

Sweetheart: I'm standing up and turning around; an incredulous look on
my face.

Wellhung: I'm shrugging with a sad look on my face, my weiner all floppy.
I'm going to get my glasses and see what's wrong.

Sweetheart: No, never mind. I'm getting dressed. I'm putting on my
underwear. Now I'm putting on my wet nasty blouse.


Wellhung: No wait! Now I'm squinting, trying to find the night table. I'm
feeling along the dresser, knocking over cans of hair spray, picture
frames and your candles.

Sweetheart: I'm buttoning my blouse. Now I'm putting on my shoes.

Wellhung: I've found my glasses. I'm putting them on. My God! One of our
candles fell on the curtain. The curtain is on fire! I'm pointing at it, a
shocked look on my face.

Sweetheart: Go to hell. I'm logging off, you loser!

Wellhung: Now the carpet is on fire! Oh noooo!

Sweetheart: <logged off>


:D:D

richindub2

Well this hasnt been posted a hundred times before.

Jabba_the_SLUT

well i havent seen it. n1

-ADREN-

yea me nither.. nice 1 lol....

nanook

Dont worry about rich in dublin, i posted this about two months ago and he was on then whinging about origionality and here he is now, funny thing is i havnt seen him posting much humor on here. Nevermind lads it is still a good joke but dont it take ages to write lol

Lenny

I've never seen it bfore, I found it funny at the end, oh and btw rich, you should read the Humour rules.

richindub2

Pugs is a clan mate of mine( and has been for months) , he's not going to leave the boards because of one comment of mine :P

irishguy

HEY no fare who has been spying on my IRC conversations
thats a good 1

Pugsley

Originally posted by richindub2
Pugs is a clan mate of mine( and has been for months) ,

Replace that word with member and yes,its all right

DeadBankClerk

Session Start: Sat Sep 08 20:06:59 2001
[20:07] <Lucy> Hey
[20:07] <[Dark-Angel]> Allo. :
[20:08] <[Dark-Angel]> Fuffle.
[20:08] <Lucy> What you up to?
[20:09] <[Dark-Angel]> Not much... Was working today.
[20:09] <Lucy> I'm sort of bored, wondering what I can do...Any ideas?
[20:10] <[Dark-Angel]> Plenty. But uh, I shouldn't be saying those to a 15 year old girl!
[20:10] <Lucy> Well...You're not that much older than me, it couldnt be that illegal :x
[20:11] <[Dark-Angel]> Very true. :P
[20:13] <[Dark-Angel]> Oh oh, got Tanks?
[20:13] <Lucy> No?
[20:13] <[Dark-Angel]> Hrm. Lemme DCC it to you. It's fun.
[20:13] <[Dark-Angel]> It's an IRC Game...
[20:14] <Lucy> Hm, so what were those ideas? I'm not that squeamish you know
[20:14] * [Dark-Angel] grins.
[20:14] <[Dark-Angel]> Oh, there's too many.
[20:14] <Lucy> Make a website for them then
[20:15] <[Dark-Angel]> lol
[20:15] <[Dark-Angel]> Speaking of websites, what did you think of that naughteee website someone did of you? :P
[20:16] <Lucy> Hm, something between pity that they had that much time to do it or some strange happyness that they would care enough about me to do it
[20:17] <[Dark-Angel]> In a nutshell: 'Obesession' :P
[20:17] <Lucy> Yes
[20:17] <[Dark-Angel]> 4,01:0,01)
[20:17] <[Dark-Angel]> So, what you up to?
[20:19] <Lucy> Nothing much, just sitting around, which is why im bored
[20:19] <[Dark-Angel]> Heheh. Have /you/ got any ideas then?
[20:19] <Lucy> That's why i PM'd you
[20:20] <[Dark-Angel]> I have to think of everything..
[20:20] <Lucy> Well don't you men claim to be smarter than us?
[20:20] <[Dark-Angel]> No.
[20:20] <[Dark-Angel]> I claim to be sexy. That's about it.
[20:22] <Lucy> Hm, claim, showing me your techniques might make me believe you
[20:23] <[Dark-Angel]> Ah, my friend, but there are so many ways... Which tickles your fancy?
[20:24] <Lucy> Any of them which make me want to tickle myself
[20:25] <[Dark-Angel]> *grins* Oh, well there's real life, which I'd have to show you in person, then there's over the net...
[20:26] <Lucy> Well, seeing as I'm not sitting next to you at the moment (Pity ), we will have to make do with over the net :x
[20:27] <[Dark-Angel]> It'd be my pleasure. Hrm, I got an idea... Do you know what RP is? (or do you know how to get onto a MU* (MUD, MUSH))
[20:28] <Lucy> No? Do you want to show me?
[20:28] <[Dark-Angel]> Hrm, it might take a while, and I've got a suspicion you don't want to wait.. Unless your patient? :P
[20:29] <Lucy> Naa, quick and nasty, the best way
[20:30] <[Dark-Angel]> Okay. ICQ chat?
[20:31] <Lucy> Ag, dont have icq on this comp, im at a relatives Won't irc do?
[20:31] <[Dark-Angel]> It will do. But I asked for ICQ because then I /know/ it would be you. Last time, you didn't seem to interested in me..
[20:32] <Lucy> Last time I mighn't have been so lonely
[20:33] <[Dark-Angel]> Hrm. You could tell me something only you and I know.
[20:33] <Lucy> My mind is full of...Other things, give me a hint and I'll see
[20:34] <[Dark-Angel]> Something to do with your 'prefences'
[20:36] <Lucy> Hrm.. Mind is blank, sorry I'll make do with someone else untill I can think of it
[20:36] <[Dark-Angel]> Hold on.
[20:37] <[Dark-Angel]> Here's a better clue. Apparently it was a major part of your life.
[20:37] <[Dark-Angel]> A very important sexual prefence.
[20:40] <Lucy> Sorry Too many people talk to me me when I come on irc, I don't remember everything (Plus my sexual preferences change a lot ) I guess I'll have to make do with one of the less attractive lads
[20:41] <[Dark-Angel]> Hrm. Very well, you seem like Lucy, I'll believe you.
[20:42] <Lucy> Ok! Thats good, I didnt want to have to settle for second best
[20:42] * [Dark-Angel] grins.
[20:42] <Lucy> I'm sort of new to this, how should we start?
[20:42] * Lucy warms up
[20:43] <[Dark-Angel]> Lots of people play tricks on iRC, so you can understand my worries. So, if this is some of the lads, I'll sue you till you die from it! But, I believe you... Anyways.
[20:43] <Lucy> Luckily the room I'm in is upstairs and away from where my aunt is, plenty of privacy
[20:43] <[Dark-Angel]> Hrm, well, have you evered 'Role Played'?
[20:44] <Lucy> In real life or online?
[20:44] <[Dark-Angel]> online.
[20:44] <Lucy> No... You can be my first. Should make you enjoy it a little more too
[20:46] <[Dark-Angel]> Well, heres how it goes... Its not like cyber. Cyber is boring. Basically, you write up a line or two describing what you're doing in the scene... Think of it like writing short paragraphs in a book. I'll set the scene?
[20:47] <Lucy> Ok
[20:48] <[Dark-Angel]> Adam sits in his living room. He yawns idly, watching TV. He wears a pair of black pilot combats, and a tight button up shirt, black. He seems bored, sitting on the couch, flicking through the channels after coming home from work...
[20:51] <Lucy> Hayley was walking down the street coming home from a friend's house when she saw Adam go into his house. After that little glimpse she knew she had to have him. She could feel herself getting wet as she walked up to the door to ask if she could come in. She knocked.
[20:54] <[Dark-Angel]> Adam idly brushes some lint of his shirt as he stands up, his stomach hard and flat. He walks over to the door, and opens it. He glances at you, a wide smile spreads over his face. "Hi..." He says, hoarsly, perhaps shyly? He steps back, letting you walk into the room, a wide smile spread over his face.
[20:57] <Lucy> Hayley knows she has to have him in her. She jumps at Adam and kisses him furiously. She slips her hands down his shirt and starts to unbutton it. She puts one hand on his crotch and feels him.
[20:59] <[Dark-Angel]> Adam, slightly taken back by the surprise, returns your kiss, his soft lips caressing yours, his tongue flickering into your mouth, probing it, tickling your tongue. A slightly giggle runs through him, he holds you up around his waist, then leads over to the couch, throwing you playfully onto it. He smiles down at you, and finishes unbuttoning his shirt, throwing it to the side.
[21:04] <Lucy> Hayley slips off her silk shirt, it feels great as it slides off. It leaves a black silk bra on. She reaches around to unbuckle it as she reaches for Adam. She tries to get his pants off quickly, feeling a need in her.
[21:07] <[Dark-Angel]> Adam caresses your hands as unbuckle him. His stomach is flat, with signs of muscles showing through. He helps you unbuckle himself, sliding his pants down. A large bulge throbs under his boxors, he then slides them down... His cock springs out, throbbing with lust. He strokes it's silky skin softly, his red head bobbing up and down in thirst...
[21:11] <Lucy> Hayley bends over and says "I want you to take me up the ass, I want to stay a virgin" She wants to feel the pain.
[21:14] <[Dark-Angel]> d you. He wedges his head into your asshole, then begins to slowly push it in...
[21:14] <[Dark-Angel]> oops, ignore that..
[21:15] <Lucy> Lol
[21:15] <[Dark-Angel]> hehe, wasn't finished.
[21:16] <[Dark-Angel]> Adam smiles down at you, caressing your asscheeks slowly. He then slips a condom on, and crouched down behind you. With his tongue, he begins to tickle your pussy, then he runs it up to your asshole, and begins to lick your asshole. His tongue delving into you, making your asshole wet. He then stands up. He wedges his head into your asshole, then begins to slowly push it in...
[21:17] <Lucy> Hayley notices the front door is still open. She whistles for her huge Irish Wolfhound to come. It rushes in the door and jumps onto Adam before he knows whats happening. It starts to madly hump Adam's ass. Hayley laughs as Adam screams and his anal passage starts to bleed.
[21:18] <[Dark-Angel]> lol
[21:18] <[Dark-Angel]> Very funny dude.
[21:19] <Lucy>
[21:19] <[Dark-Angel]> Who is this anyways?
Session Close: Sat Sep 08 21:56:11 2001

richindub2

Rar, i should have been the one to post that marc fs

Here's another anyway

[00:02] <|dNC|Timo> how come your all horny in a sudden ?
[00:03] <|dNC|Timo> you were never that horny rofl
[00:03] <|dNC|Timo> can i have aanother pic of you :P
[00:03] <Lucy> I was never all on my own in England with just an old Aunt for company
[00:04] <|dNC|Timo> do you only have 3 pics hay's
[00:05] <Lucy> Um, only three on my website yea...
[00:05] <Lucy> I havn't been able to upload any more in a while
[00:05] <Lucy> No webcam over here
[00:06] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:07] <|dNC|Timo> are you goin to get a new webcam
[00:07] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:07] <|dNC|Timo> i'll get one too
[00:07] <Lucy> Then we could really have some fun
[00:07] <|dNC|Timo> lol
[00:07] <|dNC|Timo> get one hay's
[00:08] <Lucy> No point in me getting one over here, I dont get much of a chance to use this PC, my aunt doesnt like me using it
[00:08] <|dNC|Timo> come on.... >:D
[00:08] <|dNC|Timo> hehe
[00:09] <Lucy> Isn't talking good enough for tonight?
[00:09] <Lucy> You keep making me talk about normal things fs Lets do something more interesting like
[00:11] <|dNC|Timo> lol
[00:11] <|dNC|Timo> what do you wanna do like we are not like seeing eachother in real life
[00:12] <Lucy> We can do the next best thing though...Practice for if we ever meet in real life
[00:12] <|dNC|Timo> lol
[00:12] <|dNC|Timo> well...
[00:14] <Lucy> Well? You dont like me?
[00:16] <|dNC|Timo> yea your sound
[00:16] <|dNC|Timo>
[00:16] <|dNC|Timo> butyou we never come out
[00:17] <|dNC|Timo> o we would never be able to like ....
[00:17] <|dNC|Timo> do any thing good
[00:17] <|dNC|Timo> but you will never come out
[00:17] <Lucy> I might if i had some expierance with your technique :x
[00:18] <|dNC|Timo> lol
[00:18] <|dNC|Timo> ok
[00:18] <|dNC|Timo> so how do you start ?
[00:18] <Lucy> You're the man, you start
[00:18] <Lucy> Impress me with your moves
[00:21] <Lucy> Dont fall asleep on me
[00:23] <|dNC|Timo> i won't
[00:23] <|dNC|Timo> what will we do then.
[00:23] <Lucy> What do you like?
[00:23] <|dNC|Timo> well girl cars games
[00:23] <|dNC|Timo> and cool stuff that impresses me
[00:24] <Lucy> I can do lots of cool stuff with my mouth
[00:24] <|dNC|Timo> cool lick me
[00:24] <|dNC|Timo> !
[00:24] * Lucy licks
[00:24] <|dNC|Timo> me licks
[00:24] * |dNC|Timo licks
[00:25] <Lucy> Go into more detail
[00:25] <|dNC|Timo> oKe
[00:26] <|dNC|Timo> i can do a lot of cool stuffw with my tongue and my finger
[00:26] <Lucy> Like what? :x
[00:26] <|dNC|Timo> like likc you
[00:27] <|dNC|Timo> and tickle you >:D
[00:27] <Lucy> lick me where?
[00:27] <|dNC|Timo> lick you where it feelsbest to be licked
[00:27] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:27] * Lucy unbuttons her pants
[00:28] * |dNC|Timo unbuttons his shirt
[00:28] * Lucy takes off timo's pants and calls him over
[00:28] * |dNC|Timo storkes hay's legs
[00:29] * |dNC|Timo licks hay's upper lip
[00:29] * Lucy pulls down timo's boxers and make him come over to her on the couch
[00:30] * |dNC|Timo gives hay's a lickout over and over again
[00:30] <|dNC|Timo> while giveing the lickout he feels her up
[00:30] <|dNC|Timo> the tit area >:D
[00:31] * Lucy thinks about what to do as timo is occupied. She whistles for her big Irish Wolfhound. It runs into the room and jumps onto timo's arse. It starts to madly hump it. Hayley laughs as his anal passage starts to bleed.
[00:31] * |dNC|Timo begans flicking hay's tit and licking her more agressively >:D
[00:32] <Lucy> Dont stop now big boy!
[00:32] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:32] * |dNC|Timo sticks da cock into her as she screams for more
[00:33] <|dNC|Timo> what do you want me to call you hon ?
[00:33] * Lucy watches as the dog is still at timo. She thinks how he might pass out from the pain of having that dog up his arse.
[00:33] <Lucy> You're into animals right?
[00:34] <|dNC|Timo> no really >:D
[00:34] <|dNC|Timo> but i can pass
[00:34] <|dNC|Timo> where is lucy
[00:34] <Lucy> Here!
[00:34] <|dNC|Timo> you bought her to england >
[00:34] <|dNC|Timo> you bought her to england ?
[00:35] <Lucy> I'm her!
[00:35] <|dNC|Timo> ?
[00:35] <Lucy> I'm lucy
[00:35] <|dNC|Timo> your cat is >:D
[00:35] <|dNC|Timo> you at's name is lucy i thoght
[00:35] <Lucy> Lucy is my online name, Im hayley
[00:36] <|dNC|Timo> your cat's name is lucy i thoght
[00:36] * |dNC|Timo does sweettalk to hayley
[00:37] <Lucy> Want another round with my dog?
[00:37] <Lucy> He seems to like you a lot!
[00:37] <|dNC|Timo> nah i'll pas for the dog
[00:37] <|dNC|Timo> i'll **** you instead
[00:37] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:37] <Lucy> The dog and me are a package, will you let the dog **** you if i let you **** me?
[00:38] <|dNC|Timo> well i don't really like the dog
[00:38] <|dNC|Timo> i will have you do honey ?
[00:38] <|dNC|Timo>
[00:38] <|dNC|Timo> i will have you tho honey ?
[00:38] <Lucy> You let the dog have your arse and you can have mine, deal?
[00:40] <Lucy> Deal?
[00:40] <|dNC|Timo> i said i don't like the dog
[00:40] <Lucy> But you like me
[00:40] <Lucy> Surely you could live with the dog for getting me?
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> hon i want you
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> not the doggy
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> its a irish wolfhound
[00:41] <Lucy> Let the dog have you and you can have me, just make the deal
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> they are reall big
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> ahh honey..
[00:41] <|dNC|Timo> ok deal
[00:44] <|dNC|Timo> lo ?
[00:44] <|dNC|Timo> are you still here
[00:44] <Lucy> Yea?
[00:44] <|dNC|Timo> >:D
[00:44] <|dNC|Timo> canyou ever send me a new pic of yourselve
[00:45] <|dNC|Timo> make it specially for me hon
[00:45] <Lucy> I can send you a pic of my dog, is that good enough? Since you like dogs so much like :E
[00:46] <|dNC|Timo> where do you live in ireland
[00:46] <|dNC|Timo> ?

LURCH

oops soz,never mind.......delete this post :eek: