Advertisement
If you have a new account but are having problems posting or verifying your account, please email us on hello@boards.ie for help. Thanks :)
Hello all! Please ensure that you are posting a new thread or question in the appropriate forum. The Feedback forum is overwhelmed with questions that are having to be moved elsewhere. If you need help to verify your account contact hello@boards.ie
Hi there,
There is an issue with role permissions that is being worked on at the moment.
If you are having trouble with access or permissions on regional forums please post here to get access: https://www.boards.ie/discussion/2058365403/you-do-not-have-permission-for-that#latest

Women and Football Pitches, Warning :)

  • 20-09-2001 12:58pm
    #1
    nesf
    Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 27,644 ✭✭✭✭


    Not sure if it's been up lately but....

    WHY WOMEN ARE LIKE FOOTBALL PITCHES

    1. There is a vast difference in grounds with regards to length and width,
    thus varying the quality of the play.

    2. Pitches vary from the well-grassed to the completely bald.

    3. Remember it is possible to score at both ends.

    4. Tackling from behind is not always an offence - check with ground-owner.


    5. Be careful, as after a few pints a ground appears to be of premiership
    standard but in reality would not even be eligible as a council dumping
    ground.

    6. Only some grounds offer five-a-side facilities.

    7. Don't ever make public your desires to play at Wembley, also never
    mention pitches previously visited.

    8. Extra time is dependent on subsequent pitch bookings.

    9. If the ground does not seem to have under-soil heating suggest calling
    the game off, possibly even contact coroner.

    10. When building a team it is always nice to finish with Seaman at the
    back.

    11. Wet pitches allow for long sliding tackles.

    12. Always ask before leaving the pitch and entering the tunnel.
    Conversely,
    DO NOT expect to be allowed to come straight from the tunnel to

    the goal mouth and score. That can leave an awful taste in the mouth of the

    pitch owner and may prevent further use of the ground.

    13. Personal morals may be compromised by local derbies.

    14. It is illegal to play on small, unturfed pitches.

    15. From time-to-time the goal may be obstructed by a highly absorbent
    goalie.

    16. Russian grounds are frequently more grassy.

    17. French grounds are frequently very nice to look at, however there can
    sometimes be an awful smell from the terraces, which don't get hosed

    down as often as they should.

    18. Very few grounds are found with executive boxes.

    19. Be wary of grounds with room for coaches.

    20. Always be on the look out for grounds that host ladies football two
    evenings a week.

    21. Pitches with a waterlogged end, can be out of bounds for up to 5 days a

    month, although this can be longer if you piss the owner off by

    continually asking to play up the good end instead.

    22. Players will have to agree personal terms with the club, before being
    allowed to play on the turf.

    23. Always look for a ground that has never been played on before (or at
    least hasn't had many visits). That said, well used grounds may have better
    facilities and will really know how to get the best out of a player.


Comments

Advertisement