Made a crazy mistake.

LegacyUser

I started in college this year and was having a great time. I never really liked secondary school, but college has been a blast! I have made loads of new friends both male and female and have been having the time of my life.

But since last Thursday night things have gone real weird, and I’ve become real uncomfortable.

I was meant to go into town, but decided against it because I was skint. So me and my new mate John from Tipp decided to stay in and watch a DVD. The movie was great and I bonded even better with John than ever before, while sipping on a few tins of Bulmer’s.

By the end of the movie John and I were very tipsy, and we got very chatty about girls. We started talking about kissing technique and the conversation got quite deep, before I knew it, I was French kissing John. It felt very good and natural at the time, and going with the flow of things, I gave John oral sex.

After about an hour of goofing around I went home to bed. As soon as I reached my apartment, I realised the serious implications of what I'd just done, I didn't sleep a wink that night thinking about it. I consider myself good craic, and I'm always up for experimentation, but I’d crossed the line. I'm definitely not gay; it just seemed like fun at the time. I don't know if John is gay or not, although he's definitely been with girls, and certainly doesn't act like a gay.

I'm really embarrassed and don't know how to deal with the situation. Should I talk to John or pretend it never happened? I don't think I’ll ever be able to enjoy myself around the campus ever again.

Gordon

I edited the original name btw.

I think you should look into the possibility of being bisexual. Nothing to worry about, enjoy it.

WhiteWashMan

Freaked out wrote:

and I'm always up for experimentation, but I’d crossed the line.

crossed what line?
is there a line?
who made the line?

Freaked out wrote:

I'm definitely not gay;

maybe, maybe not. if you enjoyed it, why is that bad?

Freaked out wrote:

I don't know if John is gay or not, although he's definitely been with girls, and certainly doesn't act like a gay.

definately couldnt possibly ever be a homo so!

Freaked out wrote:

I'm really embarrassed and don't know how to deal with the situation. Should I talk to John or pretend it never happened? I don't think I’ll ever be able to enjoy myself around the campus ever again.

well, you could talk to him. figure out what you want to talk about first though, dont just sit down and go 'so, about that blowjob....'
or you could!

listen, worse case scenario is that you got drunk, you had a random sexual encounter and a bit of experimentation and then you felt a bit embarassed about it and went back to snogging chicks.

Sue*

The guy is clearly troubled / confused by what happened can you at least have the decency to reply with a sensible responce rather than taking the pi*s

Gordon

Helpful advice only please, you have been warned.

simu

Ah, don't worry about it. It's just another sexual experience. I'd say the best thing to do is act as normally as possible (or make a joke about it if he's the kind of guy that would work with) as you don't seem to have any romantic feelings for each other.

Chucky the tree

If you munch on a lads cock and enjoy i wouldnt rule out the whole gay thing. It seems like you want to try and persuade yourself your not gay cos your are worried about the slagging etc over it which is natural.

I'd say bring it up with him see how he feels. He might be just as nervous and worried about it as you and will want to keep quiet about it aswell. Only way you will sort it out is by talking to him about it.

Sonian

Sounds like you were so drunk it made you do something you would not ever do while you were straight --no pun intended.

I would tell him that it was a huge mistake and the two of you should forget about it.

LegacyUser

Freaked out wrote:

I never really liked secondary school, but college has been a blast!

go with that initial feeling, you're young, speaking from experience theres a time and a place for everything and thats college, you're probably away from home for the first time and you feel a bit more free because of it. have a serious think to yourself and ask yourself a few questions, did you enjoy it? nothing wrong with that, you may be bisexual, its not a crime. if not, chalk it up to experience. Either way, talk it over with your friend, if hes any way cool he sould understand, but let him know that you're not sure how to behave because of it, which is why you wanna talk about it in the first place.

Victor

Sonian wrote:

I would tell him that it was a huge mistake

Its not necessarily a mistake, merely something that happened.

bigpaddy2004

Victor wrote:

Its not necessarily a mistake, merely something that happened.

Rubbish... you are all wrong I think. I may have leered at the start, but it was a strange post i never came accross before. I think what this guy is feeling is a feeling most of us will never know? As far as im concerned, if you have not have these feelings from an early age about this sensation ...well then forget about the whole thing. ignore him as much as you can and target on pulling a gf that you feel comfortable with and work from there... you are not one of those(cannot think of the name) you are normal.

Victor

bigpaddy2004 wrote:

Rubbish... you are all wrong I think.

Maybe, maybe not, but let this thread be about the OP, not you. Now either be constructive or go away.

I may have leered at the start

?????????

simu

Indeed. o_O

Zillah

bigpaddy2004 wrote:

Rubbish... you are all wrong I think. I may have leered at the start, but it was a strange post i never came accross before. I think what this guy is feeling is a feeling most of us will never know? As far as im concerned, if you have not have these feelings from an early age about this sensation ...well then forget about the whole thing. ignore him as much as you can and target on pulling a gf that you feel comfortable with and work from there... you are not one of those(cannot think of the name) you are normal.

Oh please. Mister "Freaked out", there's really no problem except how things might be between you and your mate afterward.

You might be straight and just curious.
You might be gay and are confused.
You might be bi and curious.

None of these are really big issues. The most important thing for you to do is not listen to this [person] I just quoted.

Don't try and lie to yourself, don't try and trick yourself. Explore life, find what suits you best.

Talk to your friend, see what he feels. Be honest to yourself and him. Nothing good can come of denial or lies.

Hagar

Why was my post deleted?

Yes It was light hearted, but the mouthwash was fair comment from a health point of view and I'm the only one who said don't forget to use a condom.

Whatever practices you engage in is your own business but protect your health.

Zombrex

bigpaddy2004 wrote:

you are not one of those(cannot think of the name) you are normal.

Queer? ****? Fruit? Homo? ... I am sure you can think of a few names :rolleyes: :rolleyes:

Freaked out wrote:

I'm definitely not gay; it just seemed like fun at the time.

You fooled around with a guy, you enjoyed it. Big deal?

The fact that you are saying "I'm definitely not gay" makes it sound like you think there is something wrong with being gay, and therefore you can't be gay because that would mean there is something wrong with you. That is nonsense, there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi-sexual. Maybe you are maybe you aren't. Its not a big deal If you are also very attracted to women you are probably bi-sexual (which is both of best worlds you lucky bastard )

Gore Vidal, the famous American writer, thought the constant need of man-kind to chacterise and group everything has lead to the rather silly idea that you must be fully gay , fully straight, or fully bi-sexual. And if you are straight you can't kiss a man, if you are gay you can't kiss a women etc. In fact that is nonsense, as if their are rules over these things. You could have a gay feeling for someone and never again. Or you could find that you eventually develop strong feelings towards men.

What ever happens it will be a unique experience for you. Don't think anything about you is "wrong"

Zillah

Add everything he just said to what I just said.

Rotide

Wicknight wrote:

The fact that you are saying "I'm definitely not gay" makes it sound like you think there is something wrong with being gay, and therefore you can't be gay because that would mean there is something wrong with you. That is nonsense, there is nothing wrong with being gay or bi-sexual.

Sounds like your the one talking nonsense. I'm definitely not a woman, black or a life size cutout of George Bush. I dont think theres anything wrong with being a woman, black or a life size cutout of George Bush, I just know that im not any of those things. If the OP figures hes not gay, how does that equate to "theres something wrong with being gay"?

WhiteWashMan

Rotide wrote:

If the OP figures hes not gay, how does that equate to "theres something wrong with being gay"?

i dont think anyone said that. i think you misread what was said.

Dinxminx

Zillah and Wicknight are right. Listen to them. they get the Dinxminx Seal of Approval!!!

Zombrex

Rotide wrote:

If the OP figures hes not gay, how does that equate to "theres something wrong with being gay"?

If the OP enjoys physical intimacy with another man, but then protests that he is "definiatly not gay" it is a rather strange thing to say. At the very most there is a possibility he is gay, he just had oral sex with a man. So why did he say he is definately not gay ...

ek942

try it again, and if you don't feel good after a second time don't do it any more.

newgrange

You've just started college, so presumably are about 19 or 20?
This is sexual experimentation, it is a good thing. No one got hurt, both of you were willing participants and enjoyed it - it is only afterwards you are 'doubting' things.

Your experience does not mean you are gay or straight or bi, just that you experimented. You have opened yourself up to new experiences, which is what life is about. Should you choose to repeat your experience with your friend or someone else, great, go for it. Should you choose not to, you are a more developed person (sexually) because of it having happened - either way, it's all good.

Femelade

i think he's a troll tbh.

Beruthiel

femmy
it is of no concern whither he is or not,
keep it on topic
B

Femelade

sorry Beruthiel....and OP

Draupnir

My advice would be to mention to the guy in question that you dont want this to become a huge issue between you and end up costing you your friendship.

Speak to him about it, ask him if he had any experience of this type of situation before and explain to him that you didnt.

The best thing for you to do is discuss it and either put it to bed (excuse the pun) or decide to move on with your new found feelings.

I'm not gay myself but I would definitely encourage you to discuss this and to embrace whatever it is you are feeling. The only person to get hurt if you dont accept your feelings will be you.

There is nothing wrong with what you did by the way so the word mistake doesnt come into it.

Sifo

WHAT!!!(just read through all the posts)

I understand that most people are trying to be supportive, but some things that are being said are just plain dumb!!!
I'm straight, and personally i find the male genitalia to be repulsive!!

I would think your definitely not straight (bi!) OP and I'm sure in time with a little experimentation you'll find out for yourself...

alfa147

Sifo wrote:

WHAT!!!(just read through all the posts)

I understand that most people are trying to be supportive, but some things that are being said are just plain dumb!!!
I'm straight, and personally i find the male genitalia to be repulsive!!

I would think your definitely not straight (bi!) OP and I'm sure in time with a little experimentation you'll find out for yourself...

yeah agree with u on this one... people wonder but never cross the line.

i think its harder for a bloke to come to terms with it as its more excepted for girls.

Agent Orange

Freaked out wrote:

I gave John oral sex.

Ah so what? You're young, dumb and full of [strike]cum[/strike] enthusiasm. Just chalk it up as life experience.

Beruthiel

agent orange
read this forums charter
B

claire h

You were drunk, things happen. They don't necessarily mean anything. They might, but then again they might not. It'll take you a while to figure that out for yourself, whether you might be bisexual, whether you might be attracted to your friend, or whether it was just something that happened that, while enjoyable at the time, probably can be written off as a once-off incident. All of those are valid options. There's absolutely no need to be so stressed about it that you think it might ruin the college experience for you. It might be a good idea to talk to this guy about it and clear the air, but if you're really uncomfortable with that then the option of pretending it never happened is there (the downside being that it does bring with it the possibility of awkwardness and it becoming a bigger deal simply because you don't talk about it).