what to do [long post]

LegacyUser

I started college and moved into a house with seven new people, got on very well with one of the girls in the house. I didn’t fancy her just thought she was a nice girl, good fun. After a while everyone in the house was secretly talking about us getting together even though I told them all, that I didn’t fancy her. Nearly all the friends I made in college were friends of this girl too and so I didn’t know how to tell her I dint fancy her and so I just didn’t say a word. Then one night out I got too drunk and ended up with her, just a kiss.

The next day I told her I didn’t fancy her and that we should be just friends. But we ended up together again and again, every time I was drunk. So when deciding where to live the next semester I decided to live away from this girl, but this upset her a lot, so I changed my mind and moved in with her telling myself I wouldn’t be with her again and that we were just friends [stupid mistake]. But again I got drunk and we ended up together again. This time I slept with her.

At the moment I am not living with her but the problem is, I know how all this looks. It looks like I am interested in this girl, but to be honest, there is nothing there. Now she is txting me and to be honest I really don’t want to see the girl again. I mean I tried distancing myself from her but she won’t just be a friend even though she said she would. I think she thinks if she has me as a “friend” eventually there will be a relationship. Also she instantly informs everyone I know, when we are together so as to give the impression we are an item which angers me a lot. I know this is partly my fault for getting drunk and stumbling but I am only human.

The point is what do I do. I know I can’t control myself when I am drunk and so I have decided to not drink for a while. But I want her to know that all the above was a mistake, without hurting her.

A final note if I end our friendship, I will loose a lot of other friends in college too, and basically look like a total wan***

gubby

I think you are making a mountain out of a mohill.. and you are weak. keep away from this girl.. she is bad news and she may not be as popular as you seem to think. she is not friend material.... STAND AWAY FROM THE GIRL!!!

LegacyUser

get with a girl you do fancy, that will give her the message

Mr.Nice Guy

Do three things.

1. Avoid the booze when around this girl.

2. Inform your close friends that you simply want friendship from this girl and ask them what they think you should do (if they have any sense they'll tell you to do point 3 below).

3. Inform the girl you only want friendship from her.

By doing point 2 before point 3, you lessen the likelihood that your friends will desert you.

I agree with the previous poster that you have been weak. Are you lacking in self-esteem or something? Why are you sleeping with someone you are not attracted to?

Anyway I hope it all works out for you.

optiplexgx270

I think you should be friends but dont always talk / sit etc. together when you are out with others. + when you are out drinking i get it you get drunk she gets hotter **** happens and you regret it the next day .... just stay well away from her. Best bet is to score while out and or get a girlfriend for a while that will put up a big ass neon. easier said than done i know.

StephenInsane

You can still be friends with her, just don't do her again. If you're drunk and she starts coming onto you, run a mile.

bandraoi

eh you can't just be friends with her you've tried that,
if you keep ending up with her while drunk I suggest you give the relationship a chance.
Go out with her for a month
either

a) you discover that you do like her - in which case there's no problem
b) you discover that you really don't like her - in which case you break up with her formally and properly, since at that point you're officially exes it should be easy to say, no I can't see you anymore, not even as friends.

I suspect you'll end up with option a but if not at least you've given it a chance.

alwaysdrunk

Oh dear god this week just gets worse and worse, just saw I doubly posted my annoying problem. Sorry about that feel free to delete the other one, if you know how!

I guess your all right, yes I have been weak and weakness has been a major problem for me but I won’t go into that.

I take it Mr. nice guy you don’t drink. “Are you lacking in self-esteem or something? Why are you sleeping with someone you are not attracted to?” ah I was drunk, very very drunk. This girl was like one of my mates like my lad mates only then I got very drunk as you do with your lad mates and well optiplexgx270 you understand perfectly

“I get it you get drunk she gets hotter **** happens and you regret it the next day” that’s exactly what happens, only a load of times cos I am a stupid ass.

But you’re all right, I just need to stop being weak.

Anyway, Cheers for all the advise, I really appreciate it. Thanks

Gordon

alwaysdrunk wrote:

Oh dear god this week just gets worse and worse, just saw I doubly posted my annoying problem. Sorry about that feel free to delete the other one, if you know how!

Threads merged.

This happens when unregistered users post a new thread and don't see it on PI so post another thread. All unregistered posts go in a queue in waiting for a mod to validate them onto PI.

Amazotheamazing

Dude, I feel your pain. You get drunk and she takes advantage. Disaster. Happens all the time too. You're making too big a deal of it though. Don't live with her, don't do her again (yeah we've all had girls that were good ideas at 2.05 in the morning but bad ideas at 11.05 when the hangover kicks in), play it cool, pretend it was no big deal ("I was drunk, she was drunk, you know how it happens"). Use the whole fear of commitment thing that Sex and the City has convinced girls we have. In a few weeks this will all be gone.

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Amazotheamazing wrote:

Dude, I feel your pain. You get drunk and she takes advantage. Disaster. Happens all the time too. You're making too big a deal of it though. Don't live with her, don't do her again (yeah we've all had girls that were good ideas at 2.05 in the morning but bad ideas at 11.05 when the hangover kicks in), play it cool, pretend it was no big deal ("I was drunk, she was drunk, you know how it happens"). Use the whole fear of commitment thing that Sex and the City has convinced girls we have. In a few weeks this will all be gone.

well said ...

shakaman

Dude doesn't look like you fancy her at all. It looks like you're using her for a sh@g when you're wasted. Now there's nothing wrong with having a f'ckbuddy but it's clear you're messing with this girls feelings.

Now ask yourself if this girl is a 'friend' like you say she is, should you be screwing around with her feelings.....pardon the pun!