limits?

Hooly22

Hi!!
you guys really helped with my last problem which is actually quite minor to the one im gonna talk about next! but wat r the limits to wat i can say here

Laguna

?


You can say what you like on here until you get banned

Zillah

To elaborate, you can say anything you like as long as it serves a purpose other than making someone else feel bad, it isn't illegal, and it counts as a personal issue of some sort.

This thread is likely to get closed by beruthiel with a curt reminder to read the charter. There may also be a mild reminder to me to not dish out rules :rolleyes:

Hooly22

Thanks guys but i actually dunno if i should talk about this.. dunno.
Hooly xx

chump

It better be a good problem now that you've built it up

come onnnn, we're waiting

Hooly22

its actually a serious problem, im not purposley building it up!! its not a piece of gossip

Endurance Man

Your next post better be something of substance or this is being reported, SPAM .

Hooly22

fine.
ok im 17 and actually generally pretty happy! Im outgoing and have a load of brilliant friends. The only problem is my family. Constant rowing, abuse, shouting, screaming and ive lived in it since i was 7. And its taking its toll on me. Ive started cutting, not alot only when things get really bad, but i dunno how else to get rid of all this bottled up inside cuz its killin me.

Zillah

First of all, its important that you know this is actually quite common.
Secondly, its important you know that its best for you if you stop, if only so you wont end up with scars later. Theres been a few threads over the years with people asking for advice about the scars they have and how it makes them feel. Save yourself the bother. If there's anyone in your family that you really trsut then speak with them about it.

A counsellor would do you no end of good. It doesn't mean your crazy, everyone benefits from having someone to talk to, and having a professional to talk to about all this family **** and the self harm would be very beneficial.

I'm arranging some links, Ill edit them in in a moment.

EDIT: Here , here and here should at least make sure you understand the situation.

Hooly22

I never talk 2 anyone in my family. Cuz there all fighting
thanks ill look at them xxxxx

Nevyn

I would suggest that you go get support and some one to talk too,
either get to see you gp about something ( ie telling your parents you have
an ear or chest infection and your old enough to go alone) and speak to them
about gettin you some help couselling what ever or go talk to a teacher in
school that you feel comfortible with and get them to access couselling for you.

LegacyUser

National Self Harm Network in the UK has a helpful, friendly and supportive message board, however, it can be quite heavy and triggering at times. http://www.nshn.co.uk

Not all sections of the forum are visible unless you're registered, e.g. the Crisis Forum. If you're worried about people looking up your browser history just clear you cookies and so forth.

Take care.

Zillah

Well its important you speak with someone. 17? You're in school right? If they have a counsellor you could speak with them. Its exactly the kind of stuff that they are there for. Make them earn their money

Alternatively, there's the samaritans. They exist so that people can explain their problems and give advice on personal issues.

1850 60 90 90. Thats their Irish number. Lo call anywhere in the country at any time.

Victor

I think talking to someone by yourself first would be of help, but it sounds like a bit of family therapy wouldn't go astray.

Also, every family has arguments to some degree or other.

Hooly22

Sorry guys!! I was having dinner!!!Our school councellor is horrible and these are serious disagreements. Like physical.
Its just rly taking its toll but when i cut i can cope. I dont do it often at all, but its like i let it all out wen i do. Is there another way 2 relieve it.
IM working on telling one of my best friends. He says hes worried about me, he knows the family history, and i trsut him with my life. just its hard 2 say it

PowerHouseDan

I Just go to your friend if he knows your family history it should be a tad easyer..... As they say "Better Out than in" It will do ya the world of good and work from there.......

Victor

When I get angry I want to hurt the people who have hurt me, not hurt myself.

I'm just wondering what your reasoning is in cutting yourself? What were the circumstances / your thoughts when you did this?

Oh, how about talking to Childline 1800 666666? It is free, sometimes they are busy, but it might help.

Zillah

Victor wrote:

I'm just wondering what your reasoning is in cutting yourself? What were the circumstances / your thoughts when you did this?

I'm certain the links I provided will answer these questions. The OP seems to fit the usual profile.

The Black Oil

Counselling can help deal with the 'urges' to cut or identify and pre-empt the need to cut when you're feeling 'triggered'. I'd be sketchy about psychiatrists and such, medication won't really deal with the underlying issues. Ultimately you should try and nip this in the bud so it doesn't become too much.

Have you tried any alternatives to cutting, squeezing ice cubes can help or flicking an elastic band, writing on your arm in red marker, poems etc.

National Self Harm Network in the UK have a good website: http://www.nshn.co.uk/ with information and a good message forum too. http://www.nshn2.co.uk/forum/index.php

Hooly22

It just gives me a release!!!!!!!!!! I dont do it often bdw!! quite rarely actually! but i ignore problems so much that they build up and thats how i get it out

PowerHouseDan

I think you should build up and talk to a friend might make you avoid hurting yourself.... Instead of letting it out in Pain(Hurting yourself)Let me out emotional to a friend....

Hooly22

i never thought about it that way. Right my best mate is coming over tonight as usual. Im gonna try tell him. xxxxxx

PowerHouseDan

Just give it a try anyway talking about things works wonders for me but its hard to find someone to open up too......

Hooly22

Hes one of the only ppl i can trust so if i cant trust him im totalled!

Victor

Zillah wrote:

I'm certain the links I provided will answer these questions. The OP seems to fit the usual profile.

I was inviting the OP to use her own words.

PowerHouseDan

Thats a good start anyway..Good Luck

Dan

Hooly22 wrote:

Hes one of the only ppl i can trust so if i cant trust him im totalled!

Hooly22

THanks everyone. I have 2 get offline now. my mates coming around later and ill let u all no how it goes.
Kisses and Hugs,
Hooly xxxxxx

The Black Oil

Good luck with telling your mate. Perhaps print off some stuff from some of the links but not too much to overwhelm him.

Hooly22

whats an OP

Hooly22

hes coming in 10. how am i supposed to start this convo

Victor

Hooly22 wrote:

whats an OP

OP = Original Poster

Hooly22

Oh rite sori. ya'll can call me Hooly.

PowerHouseDan

Just be honest?Just say can we talk.....I need to talk to someone about something and your my closest friend who i no i can trust..

Hooly22

ok. cheers guys. xx

Zillah

Victor wrote:

I was inviting the OP to use her own words.

I suspected as much shortly after I posted, but I decided to let it stand so that we could come to this nice and clear understanding.

Good luck Hooly.

lazylad

Learn another way of taking anger out hooly. You got a lot of issues in the home and seriously they do your head in but you have to escape from them.

I know people in your position but dont get down bout it because councellors and all that sh*te dont do f**ck all for some poeple. You gotta get other ways of gettin that anger out.
If you tell a mate make sure that you think about it first. They might be supportive and might not depending on their view on it. Im sure they will be supportive of you but just keep it in mind that you'l be grand. Work on gettin that anger out

Hooly22

Hi guys.
Just wanted to let u all no i told my mate yesterday!!! and feel alot better.
wat i didnt no was his sister went thru pretty much the same thing and i was over talkin 2 her today. Mite be staying with them for a while to give me a break.
Thanks for telling me 2 tell a mate cuz it really honestly helped and i feel alot better and able 2 cope really.

PowerHouseDan

Really Happy for ya,

Best of Luck with things

malico

I had a friend that used to cut herself. She said it "was like letting the pressure valve off a steam oven".

Sometimes people believe that the circumstances that cause them to "self harm" are directly or indirectly caused by them, and the pain is their retrobution for same.

My friend one day cut herself so deep that I could see the fatty tissues. I made her go to hospital where she got treatment and councilling. She has since stopped and is feeling a lot better.

I know you say you only do it now and again, but that is exactly when to get is seen to. Any addiction is easier to stop when you catch it early. Do it now. See a councellor that you dont know. This way you can dissassociate yourself and talk more.

Sifo

hey Hooly,
Glad to see that things have started to get better for you, i can only imagine how difficult it's been and if there is any advice i can give it would be this "You cannot control what other people do in life, you only control what you do, but whatever you do, do it with love for yourself and love for others".

x