Learn English with Pighead

Pighead · 30-09-2005 5:59pm #1

Bad punctuation,terrible grammar,text speak and awful spelling.What on earth is going on.Has the subject of English been taken off the sylabus?Don't get me wrong Pighead is prone to the odd error every now and again and i'm sure one of you eagle eye cherrys will point out all my mistakes with glee,but lets be fair the queens english is being butchered in After Hours.Murdered even
So with that in mind Pighead shall pass down hios wisdom and give some tips for the youngsters.No talking at the back please

Its - belonging to it.
E.g. "We didn't see its appeal until MAJD started a forum for it."
Unusual since apostrophes usually indicate the possessive - this form is an exception because of the following:

It's - contraction of 'it is'.
E.g. "It's time to ban Pighead."

Of - belonging to (a thing or collection), or characteristic.
E.g. "This is the first of many lessons i shall be dishing out", "Of course we all know that nobody will listen."

Off - the opposite of "on".
E.g. "Get off my boards or I'll shoot you with this gun said the Administrator to poor Pighead."

There - a location, or an event descriptor.
E.g. "The Feedback Forum is over there", "There were many posts today villifying poor Gordon."

Their - belonging to them.
E.g. "Spammers are being told to pull their socks up.Their posts are improving steadily."

They're - contraction of 'they are'.
E.g. "They're all to get access to the sex and sexuality forum because they're smut merchants."

AND LAST BUT DEFINITELY DEFINITELY DEFINITELY NOT LEAST

Your - belonging to you.
E.g. "Pighead your posts makes me want to vomit,get a life you loser"

You're - contraction of 'you are'.
E.g. "You're driving me crazy but i love you and i want to marry me,you're eyes are like moonlit lakes and i like you're shoulders too."

Giblet sticky this for me when you get a chance.Good lad.Talk soon buddies(or is it buddys)?

eth0_ · 30-09-2005 6:02pm

I love you.

Nala · 30-09-2005 6:05pm

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Pighead wrote:

sylabus

Syllabus.

Pighead wrote:

lets

Let's.

Sorry!

Endurance Man · 30-09-2005 6:05pm

..........................................

Rhyme · 30-09-2005 6:05pm

I love language... and Pighead

fade2black · 30-09-2005 6:06pm

Let's all add to this.

People lose things...they don't loose things.

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:07pm

Nala wrote:

Sorry, I couldn't resist...

Syllabus.

Let's.

Sorry!

Apologies not needed.I intend to use this thread to Learn English with Pighead too.The important thing here is i've learned from my mistake.Thank you Nala

Gileadi · 30-09-2005 6:08pm

Gileadi finds no point to this post

is_that_so · 30-09-2005 6:10pm

Gileadi wrote:

Gileadi finds no point to this post

You have no need for guidance on the path to grammar enlightenment.

Nala · 30-09-2005 6:11pm

Pighead wrote:

Apologies not needed.I intend to use this thread to Learn English with Pighead too.The important thing here is i've learned from my mistake.Thank you Nala

Anytime, my friend.

Peteee · 30-09-2005 6:11pm

Pighead wrote:

You're - contraction of 'you are'.
E.g. "You're driving me crazy but i love you and i want to marry me,you're eyes are like moonlit lakes and i like you're shoulders too."

Knowing you this is tongue in cheek but that says

"You are driving me crazy but i love you and i want to marry me,you are eyes are like moonlit lakes and i like you are shoulders too."

Which of course is horribly wrong. Also put spaces after you full stops!!!!

If its all sarcasm, then I tip my hat to you

zAbbo · 30-09-2005 6:12pm

The most overused mistake on boards is alot.

Easy way to remember it, try saying alittle

jezza · 30-09-2005 6:14pm

i actually LOVE YA now pighead...

Mr.Nice Guy · 30-09-2005 6:20pm

r u kidin mee!!? dis iz da best. thx!

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:21pm

fade2black wrote:

Let's all add to this.

People lose things...they don't loose things.

Brilliant.That one really irks me.

Lose - the act of losing.
E.g. "Gordon sighed as he realised he was doomed to lose the debate."

Loose - the condition of not being tight.
E.g. "Loose political morals allowed Pighead out of prison."

CrimE · 30-09-2005 6:21pm

Pighead = Everything to all men.

Atlas_IRL · 30-09-2005 6:22pm

So with that in mind Pighead shall pass down hios wisdom

jezza · 30-09-2005 6:22pm

Dose (does) and wired (weird) pis5 me off good 2!

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:23pm

Peteee wrote:

Knowing you this is tongue in cheek but that says

"You are driving me crazy but i love you and i want to marry me,you are eyes are like moonlit lakes and i like you are shoulders too."

Which of course is horribly wrong. Also put spaces after you full stops!!!!

If its all sarcasm, then I tip my hat to you

Well spotted Peteee.In future though Pighead would appreciate if you Pm'd him with any queries regarding mistakes in posts.I"M MORTIFIED!The force is strong with this Peteee.The student has become the master

CrimE · 30-09-2005 6:25pm

Pighead wrote:

Well spotted Peteee.In future though Pighead would appreciate if you Pm'd him with any queries regarding mistakes in posts.I"M MORTIFIED!The force is strong with this Peteee.The student has become the master -> . <-

Spaces after full stops pighead. Baby steps I suppose...

nesf · 30-09-2005 6:27pm

I'll take it that it's for satirical effect that there's so many typos and grammatical mistakes?

is_that_so · 30-09-2005 6:28pm

and then "their" is "where" as in

"where where you?"

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:30pm

Atlas_IRL wrote:

So with that in mind Pighead shall pass down hios wisdom

Ah Jesus this is just getting ridiculous now.Ignore Pighead,tell him to practice what he preaches before he gets on his high horse.
Actually scrap that,quitters never win and winners never quit so:

Defence - the action of defending something.
E.g. "Pigheads defence of his reputation was pretty flimsy"

Defense - the mechanism of defending something.
E.g. "In Gordons defence it was said with tongue in cheek."

Decent - good or wholesome.
E.g. "That's a decent point Atlas."

Descent - the act of descending.
E.g. "After 10,000 feet Pighead and Beruthial slowed and began their romantic descent."

pickarooney · 30-09-2005 6:32pm

Peteee wrote:

Knowing you this is tongue in cheek but that says

"You are driving me crazy but i love you and i want to marry me,you are eyes are like moonlit lakes and i like you are shoulders too."

Which of course is horribly wrong. Also put spaces after you full stops!!!!

If its all sarcasm, then I tip my hat to you

Gotta luv dat ironical 'its'.

is_that_so · 30-09-2005 6:32pm

Pighead wrote:

Defense - the mechanism of defending something.
E.g. "In Gordons defence it was said with tongue in cheek."

Oops Gordon's

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:34pm

nesf wrote:

I'll take it that it's for satirical effect that there's so many typos and grammatical mistakes?

Miss nesf(sic) I am sorry but you are wrong!Employ one of your staff to take note of any future Pighead posts and you will see the grammatical mistakes will have reduced quite significantly.
Thus this thread is merited.

Hagar · 30-09-2005 6:35pm

Pighead, I take my hat off to you Sir.
You are Zen-like in your Pigheadedness.

pickarooney · 30-09-2005 6:37pm

Pighead wrote:

Ah Jesus this is just getting ridiculous now.Ignore Pighead,tell him to practice what he preaches before he gets on his high horse.
Actually scrap that,quitters never win and winners never quit so:

Defence - the action of defending something.
E.g. "Pigheads defence of his reputation was pretty flimsy"

Defense - the mechanism of defending something.
E.g. "In Gordons defence it was said with tongue in cheek."

Decent - good or wholesome.
E.g. "That's a decent point Atlas."

Descent - the act of descending.
E.g. "After 10,000 feet Pighead and Beruthial slowed and began their romantic descent."

Ah now Piggy, everyone knows 'defense' is an American word meaning 'legitimate use of health and education budget' .

nesf · 30-09-2005 6:48pm

Pighead wrote:

Miss nesf(sic) I am sorry but you are wrong!Employ one of your staff to take note of any future Pighead posts and you will see the grammatical mistakes will have reduced quite significantly.
Thus this thread is merited.

This isn't your blog, and I'm not a miss, darling.

Giblet · 30-09-2005 6:48pm

You should also put a space after any punctuation, like so.

CrimE · 30-09-2005 6:56pm

Classic,

Pighead · 30-09-2005 6:56pm

nesf wrote:

This isn't your blog, and I'm not a miss, darling.

Blogs are a fad.Every Tom Dick and Harry looking for a publishing deal.Bring back diaries and privacy.
As for the whole gender mix up,all I can say is sorry and it shall not happen again.Never again shall i question your brooding masculinity.

Giblet · 30-09-2005 7:01pm

Less of the sarcasm please.

Capt'n Midnight · 30-09-2005 7:02pm

Pighead wrote:

Bad punctuation,terrible grammar,text speak and awful spelling.SPWhat on earth is going on.SPHas the subject of English been taken off the sylabusSP?SPDon't get me wrong Pighead is prone to the odd error every now and again and [strike]i'm[/strike] I'm sure one of you eagle eye cherrys will point out all my mistakes with glee,SPbut lets be fair the [strike]queens [/strike] [strike]e[/strike]English is being butchered in After Hours.SPMurdered even
So with that in mind Pighead shall pass down hi[strike]o[/strike]s wisdom and give some tips for the youngsters.SPNo talking at the back please.

SP - Represents the space(s) after a "." Full Stop / Period / Dot / Whatever or question mark.

[RANT]
"queens english" - How that phrase offendith mine eyes, some alternatives.
Queens english
Queens English
Usage: Is youse talkin' 'bout da English dey use in Queens? I don't TINK so. If you meant the Queen's English, you missed an apostrophe.

If however you were referring to the language spoken on the neighbouring island, then I'll take it upon myself to inform you that since 1936 the monarchy there has no legal standing here so Mrs Windsors English might be a better description.

However I would suggest using Irish English or Hibero-English if you wish to describe that which most of us speak.

Perhaps you could refer our dear readers to this Basic English, once they have mastered it more complex constructions could be explained to the little darlings.

pickarooney · 30-09-2005 7:08pm

Capt'n Midnight wrote:

SP - Represents the space(s) after a "." Full Stop / Period / Dot / Whatever or question mark.

[RANT]
"queens english" - How that phrase offendith mine eyes, some alternatives.
Queens english
Queens English
Usage: Is youse talkin' 'bout da English dey use in Queens? I don't TINK so. If you meant the Queen's English, you missed an apostrophe.

If however you were referring to the language spoken on the neighbouring island, then I'll take it upon myself to inform you that since 1936 the monarchy there has no legal standing here so Mrs Windsors English might be a better description.

However I would suggest using Irish English or Hibero-English if you wish to describe that which most of us speak.

Perhaps you could refer our dear readers to this Basic English, once they have mastered it more complex constructions could be explained to the little darlings.

Ah sure while you're at it, point out the absence of spaces after commas, missing question marks, your own dropped apostrophes in "Queen's" and "Windsor's", missing 'n' in "Hiberno-English" and 's' in "its". Very soon it stops being remotely funny and the thread goes binwards.

Pighead, there's an English forum where this kind of thing can be ignored at length.

Pighead · 30-09-2005 7:09pm

Giblet wrote:

Less of the sarcasm please.

Just for the record I wasn't being sarcastic.Although upon reading back I realise it may have appeared that way.
And i'm pretty sure that sentence is error free.This thread is working.

Pighead · 30-09-2005 7:21pm

Words that do not Exist

Responce, Sence - these are spelled "response" and "sense" respectively.

Alot - written as "a lot", because they are separate words.

Rediculous - spelled "ridiculous" by all the cool kids.

impr0v · 30-09-2005 7:25pm

This gimmick is growing too fond of reading its own text, someone take the batteries out of its back.

Pighead · 30-09-2005 7:31pm

impr0v wrote:

This gimmick is growing too fond of reading its own text, someone take the batteries out of its back.

I really do hate sighing on a Friday but I really am exasperated at the moment
One last time i'll spell it out for you
I G N O R E
P I G H E A D
B U T T O N
Why would you even waste your time typing a reply to my gimmicky thread.Perhaps to give the old "batteries out of his back"joke a run out.C'mon buddy,do as the sugababes urge.Push the button

nesf · 30-09-2005 7:51pm

This is getting annoying and stupid.

Locked.

Learn English with Pighead

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