How to deal with it?

deisedevil

Hi, i have a friend who has just tried to commit suicide. His father died a few weeks back and he has been trying to pretend like nothing has happened. We all knew he'd lose it at some stage and maybe breakdown some night but didn't expect this. He has denied that he tried to and said it was an accident but without going to much into it there is no doubt that he did intend to end his life. I really haven't a clue how to deal with this and i'm not sure if i should say anything to him about it. None of my friends have seen him all week and i'm away from home so i'm getting a bit worried bout him. If anyone has had a similar experience or any advice maybe they could post it here, thanks.

Nightwish

I've been in that boat myself, and I've also found a friend when she OD'd. The best thing you can do is to get them to open up. maybe start off by sitting and talking, maybe about normal stuff, music, news etc or even just sitting in silence. The person will eventually open up and when they do, it'll be a HUGE release. The floodgates will open. Let them know that they can contact you whenever they want or even if they want to confide in a stranger, The Samaritans are a great help. And finally, get them to a GP, who'll maybe prescribe some anti-depressants and refer them for some counselling.

andyman

My Sisters friend hung himself presumibly because he couldn't continue life without his father who had died 2 tears before. Get him to his GP or to rehab.

Civilian_Target

Yeah - if its a good friend (and over 18 yadda yadda) go down to a comfy local on a quiet week night, drink slowly, chat and make sure you're listening to everything. If your friend feels they can trust you and you are obviously paying attention and listening to what they have to say in a natural and relaxed manner they will talk to you about it. You can even coax it out of them a bit after talking for about an hour if you feel comfortable doing so.

Thats my 2c anyway - but I'm no professional psychiatrist, and if someone's trying to kill themselves they probably need psychiatric help, which is probably the better option.

Binomate

Tell him you'll do what ever he does, then he'll have a responsibility not to try it. This worked for me with a suicidal mate of mine. Get him help as well.

Tar.Aldarion

make sure you try to get him to open up or go to help.he needs too.when you bottle it all up,you eventually snap.i know people who have killed themselves and my little btothers friend killed himself recently.you really dont want to go through that so just keep at him no matter what.it takes a hell of a lot for even my best friends to get anything out of me and i'm by no means the worst so just hassle.

Squirrel

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

make sure you try to get him to open up or go to help.he needs too.when you bottle it all up,you eventually snap.i know people who have killed themselves and my little btothers friend killed himself recently.you really dont want to go through that so just keep at him no matter what.it takes a hell of a lot for even my best friends to get anything out of me and i'm by no means the worst so just hassle.

Agreed, and another thing is to spend time with him and show that you'd miss him, any doubt 'cos he could be thinking that no-one cares about him, it could help.

Best thing is professional help, and does his mother know about any of this?

deisedevil

Thanks for the advice everyone. He was out for a while last night but went home early. I'm stuck working so wasn't home. I was out with him all last sunday and i couldn't get him to talk about it. His mother is in a bad way so i'm not sure how she's handling things. i'm just hoping that the lads back home are gonna keep a close eye on him. ive been told that once someone tries once i takes a lot less for them to try again. i think he should talk to a professional but it'd be near impossible to get him to go to someone. looks like we'll just have to hope he starts to come around. he was in good form last night i heard anyways,though he always has been and that's the whole problem,he seems to be holding it all in.

lazylad

Can never comment too much on this situation but he does deffo need looking after.

He might not be happy with his life in general and loosing his father might have triggered something off in his head or left him in state of depression that just "gets him thinking" along the negative lines,although it is natural for someone to be grieving like this but not suicide.

If he gots lots of mates etc, and they are all looking out for him and he still feels suicidal then he needs professional help coz a lot of people dont' got mates and commit suicide and that's all they probably needed, but your friend does need help.

As for about if they try it once its easier the second time, not always true I wouldn't worry too much. Sometimes its the person really crying out for help that they attempt it and show people that they dont wanna b ignored anymore or feelin pain.

Your friend is feeling pain and there really isn't really anything his mates can do unless a professional helps him!!

One good thing, at least yiz know and you can do something. A lot of people wanna do it and do it not comin before they can even get help

Victor

Be there for your friend, but realise that yoiu can't do everything for them, that they need some professional help.