How to tell if your child is a GOTH

Maximilian · 07-09-2005 5:11pm #1

Fight the evil

qz · 07-09-2005 5:15pm

Uses the blood of Christian babies to inscribe pentagrams or other symbols on churches and schools.

lol

It wasn't me! · 07-09-2005 5:16pm

Heh. I fall into several of those categories. Woops!

Funny stuff.

feylya · 07-09-2005 5:21pm

# Says, "I am a GOTH."

# Wears a pin that says, "I am a GOTH."

Genius

Diarmsquid · 07-09-2005 5:24pm

Is that site for real? I mean, you can tell if your child is a goth if he/she

Dances to music

or

Watches cable.

??

monkeyfudge · 07-09-2005 5:28pm

Diarmsquid wrote:

Is that site for real? I mean, you can tell if your child is a goth if he/she or ??

I think you'll find the acronym of the group that made the site gives it away.

grimloch · 07-09-2005 5:31pm

# Mocks authority figures such as teachers, guidance counselors or Jesus.

# Uses a computer or the Internet.

Ahhhh, thats me!

Mr.Nice Guy · 07-09-2005 5:54pm

Asks for locks of hair from casual acquaintances.

Damn, I'm a goth...

Goolay · 07-09-2005 6:07pm

Eats GOTH-related foods such as Count Chocula breakfast cereal

Those crazy disturbed goths!

Nightwish · 07-09-2005 6:12pm

wow Im not a goth

Flashling · 07-09-2005 6:23pm

Writes angry entries in a secret diary (you can usually find the diary easily if you search your child’s room).

Has paranoid fantasies (many GOTHS accuse their parents of spying on them).

Sounds like something my Mom would do!

The Real B-man · 07-09-2005 6:27pm

Kills people for fun

wtf! only in america i hate these soccer mom groups

Baraboo · 07-09-2005 6:57pm

pseudo-religion that involves pentagrams, violent and often homosexual or sadomasochistic initiation rituals, animal sacrifice, and hugging.

Got to love the Hugging.

Branoic · 07-09-2005 7:03pm

The Real B-man wrote:

wtf! only in america i hate these soccer mom groups

Ummm...that soccer mom group is called P.A.R.O.D.Y.

Gettit?

larryone · 07-09-2005 7:05pm

I'm not a goth, because I dont do anyhting that's listed on that webpage. Ever.

Rhyme · 07-09-2005 8:03pm

Pansexual?

Daelus · 07-09-2005 8:38pm

That's hilarious!

amazingemmet · 07-09-2005 8:41pm

Pansexual: you'll shag anything (methinks)

Sauron · 07-09-2005 8:58pm

Owns more than one cast-iron cauldron.

heh... great

Aisling(",) · 07-09-2005 8:59pm

Gotta love it

Maximilian · 08-09-2005 8:59am

The "tags" of all potential goths in this thread have been noted and sent on to the relevant department for further study. Thank you for your co-operation.

Hail God
Ein Volk, ein Heaven, ein Gott

shellby · 08-09-2005 9:06am

i'm confussed ...

08-09-2005 9:35am

shellby wrote:

i'm confussed ...

Then you're a Goth!!!!

P.A.R.O.D.Y wrote:

Stays up late at night and/or drinks blood

Brilliant. Got to love the "and/or"

ciaran76 · 08-09-2005 10:29am

Goth-a love it !!!

Scarinae · 08-09-2005 11:03am

P.A.R.O.D.Y. wrote:

Insists on spending time with friends while unaccompanied by an adult.

What abnormal teenagers! They must be EVIL!

andrew163 · 08-09-2005 1:13pm

GAH! They're onto me *hides angry diary, cauldron collection and shrine to Ba'al*

danniemcq · 08-09-2005 1:32pm

Nightwish wrote:

wow Im not a goth

!

08-09-2005 1:35pm

ciaran76 wrote:

Goth-a love it !!!

lol

MrJoeSoap · 08-09-2005 1:41pm

28064212 wrote:

"Stays up late at night and/or drinks blood"

Brilliant. Got to love the "and/or"

Definitely the best use of "and/or" I've seen this week!

Tar.Aldarion · 08-09-2005 1:46pm

Nightwish wrote:

wow Im not a goth

according to that list,that means you are a goth!

Lemming · 08-09-2005 1:48pm

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

according to that list,that means you are a goth!

Doesn't that mean that you're not a goth then? Claiming that you are?

So, we can add a further point to the P.A.R.O.D.Y. list to match any claims of being a GOTH.

"Doesn't admit to being a GOTH".

Scarinae · 08-09-2005 7:10pm

Lemming wrote:

Doesn't that mean that you're not a goth then? Claiming that you are?

So, we can add a further point to the P.A.R.O.D.Y. list to match any claims of being a GOTH.

"Doesn't admit to being a GOTH".

Wouldn't that completely contradict these points:

P.A.R.O.D.Y. wrote:

Says, "I am a GOTH."

Wears a pin that says, "I am a GOTH."

Talks about going to GOTH clubs or parties.

If your point was addedto the list then by default everyone would be a goth - and think what a terrible place the world would be then, sacrificing babies and listening to music all over the place

Gazza22 · 08-09-2005 7:15pm

Kills people for fun

So me...

johnny_ultimate · 08-09-2005 7:20pm

If the list is anything to go by - which it probably is - it suggests that without fail, everyone on boards or the internet is a goth. I say we start a club.

Ho ho let's see what those anti-authoriatian goths do when they figure out that everyone else is a goth. Then they'll have to become a race of uber-goths :eek:

Tar.Aldarion · 08-09-2005 7:22pm

goth forum request anybody?

johnny_ultimate · 08-09-2005 7:26pm

Possible thread titles :

"Best place in Dublin for sacrificial lambs?"
"Poll : Favourite colour? Options : black, black, black"
"I hate the world. Boo-urns the world" (that's a hot thread by the way)

Tar.Aldarion · 08-09-2005 7:29pm

i would pick option four,really black but that is just me.
/strokes his black tshirt and suggests thread....'how goth are you!'

Scarinae · 08-09-2005 7:38pm

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

i would pick option four,really black but that is just me.

I thought that only priests wear really black, everyone elses's clothes are just really really dark blue (according to Father Ted anyway) And since we use the Internet, and are therefore Goths, and are therefore Satanists, we are by default against really black

Lemming · 08-09-2005 7:43pm

Fishie wrote:

Wouldn't that completely contradict these points:

If your point was addedto the list then by default everyone would be a goth -

Irony. Parody. Hypocrasy.

I rest my case .....

johnny_ultimate · 08-09-2005 7:43pm

Who needs Boards beers / paintball? Boards sacrafice all the way! You bring the animals, Ill bring the tools!

Tar.Aldarion · 08-09-2005 7:47pm

boards sacrafice sounds good,will there be coffee?whom gets to be the virgin sacrifice?
oh will there be any biscuits?

johnny_ultimate · 08-09-2005 7:51pm

I just reccomend that anyone with less than 50 posts doesn't come along, if you catch my drift

And there are jammy dodgers for all. Horray!

Tar.Aldarion · 08-09-2005 7:55pm

noob sacrifical altar i hear you cry!tar giveth.

How to tell if your child is a GOTH

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