Bush declares War on Nature following recent attack

democrates

Rooters - Gorge Bush spoke from his bunker below the Withouse in Saudi-America on 32nd Octember 2005:
"Nature hates the American way. It doesn't care about human life. Folks have to realise, that you don't make a tiger into a vegetable by feeding it meat. We have to fight this enemy. I've been in touch with leaders around the world, to join us, in a coalition of the willies, and I've been encouraged by the response. Priminster Tony Beer is ready to stand behind us, and many others who share our values are standing over our shoulders. Nature has to realise that we will not be defeated. There is no place to hide. We'll take the fight to wherever nature hides, we'll smoke it out, and together with our partners bring pressure to bear on countries that harbour or promote nature. All the countries who do so will walk together on that lonesome trail alone. Already I have a bill before Congress to get extra funds released so we can increase our smoke output. We'll take whatever measures are necessary to freeze natures assets, by creating a new ice age. We will not give up the American way of life, we will fight, for freedom, and democracy, and the American way."

Dullard Rumsfeld added that the recent attack proves America was right to bomb Kyoto, but refused to be drawn by a man with a pencil. Kofi Amen was seen sobbing like a little girl after seeing the transmission in the UN HQ in Nu Yawk along with Bonono and Blob Geldof, yet the Kayopo chief with a big lip and a bigger sack of cash appeared gleeful as he slipped out the back door.

TerrorFirmer

bus77

democrates wrote:

I've been in touch with leaders around the world, to join us, in a coalition of the willies, and I've been encouraged by the response.

frodi

Too close to the truth to be really funny.

democrates

Maybe there should be a satire sub-forum...

Rantorama

democrates wrote:

Maybe there should be a satire sub-forum...

Agree

kmart6

Omg there really has to be somrthing done bout posts like this!!!

aidan_walsh

I wouldn't have minded if it was an intelligent parody, but this is just pap...

TerrorFirmer

aidan_walsh wrote:

I wouldn't have minded if it was an intelligent parody, but this is just pap...

He started a thread on feedback somehow drawing that the people who thought this - rightfully- was crap, must be someone unappreciative of parody and too thick to "get" the satire.

democrates

Ok people, put on a happy smile, I've posted an urgent request for a satire sub-forum. As soon as that's up (10 mins I'd say given the urgency) it will leave the main humour forum as the 'no more tears' option.
Is anyone still upset? Tell democrates all about it and he'll try and make it all better. Whistle with me, "Always look on the bright side of life...":D

mfitz

Jesus no one has a sense of humour that was hilarious

Kazu

:eek: :eek: :eek:

Stabshauptmann

too low brow. To call it parody or satire insults the rest of us. NOW if you'll excuse me, my high horse needs feeding

causal

Kaptain Redeye wrote:

too low brow. To call it parody or satire insults the rest of us. NOW if you'll excuse me, my high horse needs feeding

Low burlesque to be precise - now hurry up with that feed - my horse is hungry - and it's bigger than yours

causal

Stabshauptmann

You're just being pedantic, or anal if you like. I was being con·de·scend·ing

Hence why I have a high horse

causal

Kaptain Redeye wrote:

You're just being pedantic, or anal if you like.

I'm just being correct; or if you like anal go here

I was being con·de·scend·ing

Hence why I have a high horse

I was being pe.jor.a.tive - hence why my horse is bigger than yours

causal
*Doesn't the sign on this forums door say 'Humour'*

Saruman

I thought the title was very funny.. i gave up reading the actual joke though. Spelling mistakes were annoying even if they were intended for legal reasons

Would like to see a gift grub like it though!

Maximilian

After re-reading the piece a few times I have come to the conclusion that
Rooters is supposed to be Reuters and Gorge Bush is meant to mean George Bush. I haven't managed to figure the rest out. Is this one of those quizes? Anyone manage to get the other ones?

Update: I reckon Kofi Amen is that guy Boutros Boutros-Ghali

Stabshauptmann

causal wrote:

I'm just being correct; or if you like anal go here


I was being pe.jor.a.tive - hence why my horse is bigger than yours

causal
*Doesn't the sign on this forums door say 'Humour'*

Hmm, so close. One liners are one liners, dont repeat them.
I was joking, but I guess without smilies all over the place you couldnt tell?

causal

Kaptain Redeye wrote:

Hmm, so close. One liners are one liners, dont repeat them.
I was joking, but I guess without smilies all over the place you couldnt tell?

Yes, now that is funny, but you really need a smiley to show you're backtracking, um, oh this one will do you -

And now a liberal peppering of emoticons

causal

limerick_man

Lets get the new forum going! LOL, that was funny!

Call Me Jimmy

that's just poor tbh

moshpit77

crap, would have been a little better if the names had been spelt properly. still crap

whiskeyman

democrates wrote:

I've posted an urgent request for a satire sub-forum.

Or for a sub-satire forum?

strassenwolf

Maximilian wrote:

Update: I reckon Kofi Amen is that guy Boutros Boutros-Ghali

was that the guy who was the Secretary-Secretary-General of the UN?

Jk_Eire

Worst post ever. Even if it was in its own satire sub forum it would still suck. Its as if a 5 year old wrote it

democrates

How about all your poor souls who feel aggrieved join me in having a bit of a laugh and post something of your own concoction?

Going by the authoritatively toned comments it seems there's a wealth of huge talent out there, why not share the brilliance you clearly have with other boards users so we may all bask in your radiance and heap plaudits upon you!

What creative offerings can we expect I wonder, probably zero, but I hope to be proven wrong by those who claim to know best. Some people are born crying, live complaining, and die disappointed. :rolleyes:

But don't despair, I'd rather light you a candle than curse your darkness.

de5p0i1er

frodi wrote:

Too close to the truth to be really funny.

Gotta agree with you on that one mate.

Jk_Eire

you weren't been creative in the first place. You changed some names

democrates

Jk_Eire wrote:

you weren't been creative in the first place. You changed some names

You're on to me. It's true, I just changed the names. I got the original article from Chuck Flemup, a Wall St journalist who was about to publish an expose but was silenced by an illuminati cyclops named Sullivan. He managed to get the story to me by telepathy but has since been abducted and secreted to Roswell for alien cross-breeding experiments. My contact there reports that he is forced to fornicate hourly with gamigash, a female alien abducted by the greys from Honey-69 (a gas giant off the dotty nebula).

We in the counter-colonisation underground use humour fora to get the word out. We stay down by day and move about at night disguised as lepers. Since you've proven your capacity for lucid analysis and an uncanny ability to read between the lines I think I can convince the others to let you join and help in the resistance. Wait, someone coming, what's happening, some kind of energy beam, can't move my ears, it's

StupidLikeAFox

democrates wrote:

some kind of energy beam, can't move my ears, it's

......still not funny

moshpit77

democrates, if that IS your real name,

stick to the day job