womens advice needed no idea how womens brains work

Catsmokinpot

ok well it goes like this see, cat gets a woman, cat brings home woman, cat screws woman, cat doesn't want to see woman ever again. well that's the way it usually goes....

but something different happened this weekend, i met this girl (not gonna say her real name but lets call her betty for now) and didn't stop talking to her all night! had a really good night. she came back to a session, we went for a walk up to 24hr station to get munchies. on the way up she told me she had a child, i told her i didn't mind (i really didn't, i love kids) i kissed her, she returned it and we went back to my house. i didn't shag her (thought it would ruin everything not that she asked me to anyway) she asked me for my number, then i got hers.

i was fairly enduced and something happened(in order to explain what happened i must bring you back to a session a couple of weeks ago)

my house mate has a mat that people sign at sessions. i woke up the morning after a session and there was "cat loves betty" written on this mat, and it was in my handwriting. i never met a betty before, there was no betty back at the session, i was mystified as to why it was written there.

back to the session with betty i met on friday. so anyway, i was talking to betty and my housemate was fairly twisted and saw how damn well we were getting on. so he turned to me and said, "remember that message on the mat?" (and i goes like a ****in idiot :rolleyes: ) "cat loves betty OMG" after i did it i freaked myself out, kinda went silent and also didnt explain myself either (you know the way stuff makes sense when your drunk even though it was just a coincidence), so then she left after a while and told me to call her as she was leaving.

gave her a text the next day asking her to come out again, 'twas bit adventurous of me cause i know she has commitments, but i got no reply. I tried ringing her a couple of times but her phone was turned off, ive been waiting ever since...

now i think its because of what i blurted out, but then i thought to myself im being stupid, but still no reply...

i know its stupid because i only spent one night with her, but ive really never met anyone so gorgeous, funny and straightforeward before, to be honest im a bit lovestruck and i really don't know what to do.

i just want to know if she'll text me back and if not why?


Edit: Punctuation not my strongpoint apologies

TerrorFirmer

Please use puncuation.

I've been trying to read and re read that several times and its still not clear at all....

jcoote

yeah it was tough to read but i got the gist...cat it sounds like your woman just went with the flow for the sake of it and didn't really know what she doin...maybe u came on a bit strong..is that possible???

koneko

Catsmokinpot wrote:

i just want to know if she'll text me back and if not why?

You know better than to ask that. We're not psychic and don't live in this girl's brain. She might be interested, she might not, who knows.

Send her a text near the weekend, that you'd like to see her again, maybe go for coffee or meet up somewhere. If she doesn't respond, I'd say just forget about it unless you happen to see her again. If she's interested, she'd get back to you, no point ringing and texting her constantly, it'll just annoy her and is a bit weird.

Catsmokinpot

edited it to the best of my abilities... english never a strongpoint

Beruthiel

Catsmokinpot wrote:

i just want to know if she'll text me back and if not why?

my crystal ball is telling me nothing,
as konoko said, try again near the end of the week, maybe her phone is lost/stolen/out of credit/insert any number of reasons here

WhiteWashMan

if she has a child, then that is the centre of her world,a dn you wont get so much as a peep in unless you prove yourself as reliable and ae going to be around for a very long time.

so unless youare willing to make that commitment, i wouldnt bother.

as for if she is going to text you, then the answer is yes. or it might be no. im not sure.
call her again and leave a nice voicemail asking iof she can text you her address as you want to send her flowers.

MojoMaker

Cat, concentrate on the Leaving cert this year and maybe postpone these kind of romantic endeavours until next summer?

Catsmokinpot

i dunno maybe i came on a bit strong, maybe she was just going along with it, if she was why would she ask me for my number?

koneko wrote:

You know better than to ask that. We're not psychic and don't live in this girl's brain. She might be interested, she might not, who knows.

i know its cheeky, its just it really has never happened to me, ive never met someone and just clicked with her, its always been just meet, shag, leave.

ill give her a text later on in the week maybe ill get somewhere

Beruthiel wrote:

my crystal ball is telling me nothing,

thanks for trying anyway

WhiteWashMan wrote:

if she has a child, then that is the centre of her world,a dn you wont get so much as a peep in unless you prove yourself as reliable and are going to be around for a very long time.

so unless youare willing to make that commitment, i wouldnt bother.

as for if she is going to text you, then the answer is yes. or it might be no. im not sure.
call her again and leave a nice voicemail asking iof she can text you her address as you want to send her flowers.

i know a child isnt all roses especially someone elses but i really dont mind + i love children.....

MojoMaker wrote:

Cat, concentrate on the Leaving cert this year and maybe postpone these kind of romantic endeavours until next summer?

thanks for the input there buddy :rolleyes: i know i sound like a lovestruck teen but i did my leaving cert a good while ago

magick

i think you should give it some time though however saying that though , try and ask her out in a non club pub area see how well ye get on cafe, etc etc

Kell

Catsmokinpot wrote:

i dunno maybe i came on a bit strong,

Erm - how long did you know this woman? And you told her you loved her?

If -

a) you knew her the extent of the night and you wrote that on the mat, then yes, you did come on a bit strong and deserve a sound thrashing

b) you have known her some time in which case, you may or may not hear from her again

At the end of the day, what is the point in worrying over something you have no control of. PI's is full of people with such woes as "I called Anto on Friday night and he never rplied. Am I going to get pregnant" who cause themselves undue stress and worry over nothing or more specifically, something they have no control over.

You texted her, she hasnt replied so move on. Life doesnt wait around for you so why wait around for it?

K-

OLDYELLAR

Well if the phone was off she doesnt know ya rang so thats grand and she probably read the text was in the middle of something and forgot to reply.

Give her a text some evening , not during the day though busy busy , ya some evening and say ya`d like to meet up again.

Who knows if she will or wont reply but sure give it a shot anyway.
Best of luck man

Oryx

ok well it goes like this see, cat gets a woman, cat brings home woman, cat screws woman, cat doesn't want to see woman ever again. well that's the way it usually goes....

Taste of your own medicine? Cruel, but I had to say it.

There is only one way to know if shes interested and thats talking to her. If you cant get her to reply to texts or answer the phone, she probably isnt interested, and youll have to live with that.

secret_squirrel

Let me just check Im getting the right end of the stick here.

1. You wrote Cat loves betty before you even met betty right?

2. Your mate points out the co-incidence the 2nd time you are with betty.

3. She overhears and thinks you're going stalker on her?

In which case she could be busy with the kid or she could be hiding from you. If you get a chance to see her again try that explanation its too mad not to be true. Otherwise just put it down to experience.

If she is interested she will make contact again....

Catsmokinpot

Kell wrote:

Erm - how long did you know this woman? And you told her you loved her?

If -

a) you knew her the extent of the night and you wrote that on the mat, then yes, you did come on a bit strong and deserve a sound thrashing

b) you have known her some time in which case, you may or may not hear from her again

At the end of the day, what is the point in worrying over something you have no control of. PI's is full of people with such woes as "I called Anto on Friday night and he never rplied. Am I going to get pregnant" who cause themselves undue stress and worry over nothing or more specifically, something they have no control over.

You texted her, she hasnt replied so move on. Life doesnt wait around for you so why wait around for it?

K-

dude read again, i didnt say i love her the whole thing was just a coincidence, and being pissed i happened to say it to my friend out loud in the process freaking myself out for saying something so stupid....

KatieK wrote:

Taste of your own medicine? Cruel, but I had to say it.

There is only one way to know if shes interested and thats talking to her. If you cant get her to reply to texts or answer the phone, she probably isnt interested, and youll have to live with that.

your absolutely 100% right, i know. but im not a bad guy just had a ****ed up lovelife. my first girlfriend went off and screwed one of my best friends. found it hard to ring women back ever since.

listen lads cheers for the advice i know some of you might look at me and go fúckin idiot, i know but i can't help it, theres alot of things i have to cop the fúck on about

Foofoo

Catsmokinpot wrote:

ok well it goes like this see, cat gets a woman, cat brings home woman, cat screws woman, cat doesn't want to see woman ever again. well that's the way it usually goes....

but something different happened this weekend, i met this girl (not gonna say her real name but lets call her betty for now) and didn't stop talking to her all night! had a really good night. she came back to a session, we went for a walk up to 24hr station to get munchies. on the way up she told me she had a child, i told her i didn't mind (i really didn't, i love kids) i kissed her, she returned it and we went back to my house. i didn't shag her (thought it would ruin everything not that she asked me to anyway) she asked me for my number, then i got hers.

i was fairly enduced and something happened(in order to explain what happened i must bring you back to a session a couple of weeks ago)

my house mate has a mat that people sign at sessions. i woke up the morning after a session and there was "cat loves betty" written on this mat, and it was in my handwriting. i never met a betty before, there was no betty back at the session, i was mystified as to why it was written there.

back to the session with betty i met on friday. so anyway, i was talking to betty and my housemate was fairly twisted and saw how damn well we were getting on. so he turned to me and said, "remember that message on the mat?" (and i goes like a ****in idiot :rolleyes: ) "cat loves betty OMG" after i did it i freaked myself out, kinda went silent and also didnt explain myself either (you know the way stuff makes sense when your drunk even though it was just a coincidence), so then she left after a while and told me to call her as she was leaving.

gave her a text the next day asking her to come out again, 'twas bit adventurous of me cause i know she has commitments, but i got no reply. I tried ringing her a couple of times but her phone was turned off, ive been waiting ever since...

now i think its because of what i blurted out, but then i thought to myself im being stupid, but still no reply...

i know its stupid because i only spent one night with her, but ive really never met anyone so gorgeous, funny and straightforeward before, to be honest im a bit lovestruck and i really don't know what to do.

i just want to know if she'll text me back and if not why?


Edit: Punctuation not my strongpoint apologies

is betty an ex? cause im lost 2

DJlee

to be honest cat, i'v been in this sitution before!
kinda

met a girl ya like, get on really well with, say something to **** it up, and then all you do is worry about for a few weeks?!?!

she has ur number man, if she is interested, which i hope she is, she'll get in touch with ya!

but sayin that, the LEAST she could do is get in touch and let ya know if she wasnt interested, at least then your mind could be at rest about the whole thing!


give it time man, these things dont happen over nite!
give her a txt today(thursday) to see if she's going out for a drink the weekend......if no reply, leave it for two weeks, gaurentee ya she'll have been in contact by next weekend! :cool:

dramaqueen

Hey did you ever stop to think that maybe she was drunk and just didn't fancy you?
Is that totally inconceivable?
Maybe she was using you?
Maybe she is married or has a boyfriend.
Men don't have a monopoly on picking people up, using them and walking away.
You've done it enough times. Maybe it was your turn for it to happen to...

Catsmokinpot

DJlee wrote:

to be honest cat, i'v been in this sitution before!
kinda

met a girl ya like, get on really well with, say something to **** it up, and then all you do is worry about for a few weeks?!?!

she has ur number man, if she is interested, which i hope she is, she'll get in touch with ya!

but sayin that, the LEAST she could do is get in touch and let ya know if she wasnt interested, at least then your mind could be at rest about the whole thing!


give it time man, these things dont happen over nite!
give her a txt today(thursday) to see if she's going out for a drink the weekend......if no reply, leave it for two weeks, gaurentee ya she'll have been in contact by next weekend! :cool:

yeah was thinkin i would text her today. sure we'll wait and see

dramaqueen wrote:

Hey did you ever stop to think that maybe she was drunk and just didn't fancy you?
Is that totally inconceivable?
Maybe she was using you?
Maybe she is married or has a boyfriend.
Men don't have a monopoly on picking people up, using them and walking away.
You've done it enough times. Maybe it was your turn for it to happen to...

maybe your an evil hatefilled woman? yes i have done it to women before but that wasn't before i walked in on my ex gf fúckin the **** out of one of my best friends..... ive found it hard to be close to a woman since then. women are just as bad as men. what i can't see is why, if she didn't fancy did she ask me for my number? or is that just an evil hatefilled woman thing to do?

dramaqueen

Catsmokinpot wrote:

maybe your an evil hatefilled woman? yes i have done it to women before but that wasn't before i walked in on my ex gf fúckin the **** out of one of my best friends..... ive found it hard to be close to a woman since then. women are just as bad as men. what i can't see is why, if she didn't fancy did she ask me for my number? or is that just an evil hatefilled woman thing to do?

Eh OK.
I think you'll find that I was saying that women can be just as bad as men.
And I didn't judge you. All I suggested was that maybe she was fu*king with you. If that makes me "an evil hatefilled woman" then fine.

Catsmokinpot

dramaqueen wrote:

Eh OK.
I think you'll find that I was saying that women can be just as bad as men.
And I didn't judge you. All I suggested was that maybe she was fu*king with you. If that makes me "an evil hatefilled woman" then fine.

well when ur writing i can't see your facial expression and from what you wrote, seems you wrote it just to be hurtfull..... in a kind of a "the world doesnt revolve around you" kinda way, and if you weren't then im sorry

dramaqueen

Ok just playing devil's advocate again...
Maybe you feel bad about your past behaviour and that is why you are obsessing about this girl!!!!
Just a suggestion, don't kill me.

Catsmokinpot

dramaqueen wrote:

Ok just playing devil's advocate again...
Maybe you feel bad about your past behaviour and that is why you are obsessing about this girl!!!!
Just a suggestion, don't kill me.

i wont kill ya.

maybe i am, i honestly don't know whats going through my head, i mean i wouldnt have dreamed of getting with a woman who has a kid a week ago, but i dunno she just seemed like a girl that liked me for me, im not the best lookin dude in the world. but im funny out. ive had a few relationships my first one ****ed me up big time. second solid one i just didnt love her, think she just loved the sex, she was a bit of a nympho. every one after that has been a crock of sh1t! with women i never liked, you know when it comes to the end of the night and the slow songs start, and you just reach out for someone, haven't done it for a while, infact havent been with anyone appart from her in a while, i dunno whats goin on with me, there's lots of other **** goin on in my life at the moment i think its all coming together to just fúck me up. maybe im just grabbing for something to comfort me, i dont think i am because she really is such nice girl. but to be honest theres so much going through my head i don't know whats real and what isn't

dramaqueen

Somebody gave me a really interesting piece of advice not so long ago. I was seeing a guy who was great. He was really lovely and it should have worked, but it didn't.
One day I was moaning to a friend about how it never works out with the nice guys and how it wasn't fair bla bla bla.
She turned to me and said
"Just because somebody is nice, doesn't mean that you have to be with them!"
We spend so much time lurching from one bad relationship to the next, that when we finally meet someone who is great, we want it to be perfect. We romanticise it and we make it what it isn't.
Sometimes it's ok to let something go that isn't perfect but isn't bad.
There are plenty of other nice people out there.
Maybe one of them will be perfect too...

bp

she has a kid right so it will be hard for her to go out to meet you as she will have to get and pay for a babysitter......try thinking about what to do about/ with the child when asking her out! she mightnt get a whole day to herself!

Catsmokinpot

went out on friday had a crackin' night out, her phone is messed up and she couldn't get in contact with me, but she knew t'was my mates birthday and she came out to see me.

shes deadly! i thought about the fact that she has a kid, and i know she doesn't have all the time in the world for me and to be honest i really don't mind. were going out again this weekend, im gonna take it slow and sure we'll see what happens.

thanks a million lads for the advice kept my mind at ease

shellby

Catsmokinpot wrote:

maybe your an evil hatefilled woman? yes i have done it to women before but that wasn't before i walked in on my ex gf fúckin the **** out of one of my best friends..... ive found it hard to be close to a woman since then. women are just as bad as men. what i can't see is why, if she didn't fancy did she ask me for my number? or is that just an evil hatefilled woman thing to do?

ok you don't seem ready to commit to another relationship yet let alone one where the other party involved has a chid

440Hz

chuffed things worked out for you there Cat. I was just gonna reply and say that 'c'est la vie' cos it happens like this all the time. I met a fantastic guy recently, who asked for my number, rang me, we met for a drink, he asked me to go for lunch the following week - i heard nothing. so i was disappointed and thought ah well but i was still thinking bout how now he was.... then the following wk he got in touch to say that he was sorry he didnt call but that he was up the walls but we wld meet soon if i still wanted to, and to give him a shout when i was free. giving him the benefit of the doubt i did... but guess what, he was busy again!! same line ill give you a shout soon... which he did but just to say hello and how busy he was - what is the story?? i have no idea what goes on in a guys head, but i was going to say that maybe it works both ways... however it seems that it all worked out for you - super!

any advice for me?

Catsmokinpot

shellby wrote:

ok you don't seem ready to commit to another relationship yet let alone one where the other party involved has a chid

maybe im not, i know that, ive told her and this is why i said......

we're going out again this weekend, im gonna take it slow and sure we'll see what happens.

440Hz wrote:

chuffed things worked out for you there Cat. I was just gonna reply and say that 'c'est la vie' cos it happens like this all the time. I met a fantastic guy recently, who asked for my number, rang me, we met for a drink, he asked me to go for lunch the following week - i heard nothing. so i was disappointed and thought ah well but i was still thinking bout how now he was.... then the following wk he got in touch to say that he was sorry he didnt call but that he was up the walls but we wld meet soon if i still wanted to, and to give him a shout when i was free. giving him the benefit of the doubt i did... but guess what, he was busy again!! same line ill give you a shout soon... which he did but just to say hello and how busy he was - what is the story?? i have no idea what goes on in a guys head, but i was going to say that maybe it works both ways... however it seems that it all worked out for you - super!

any advice for me?

maybe he was just busy, TBH id given up on her on friday evening because i didn't get a reply, i realised that if i didn't meet her again it wouldn't be the end of the world so i said to myself forget it. TBH he wouldn't have rung you back if he didn't like you just a little bit. give it time and maybe he'll come lookin for you