Bangernomics, My favourite type of motoring!

mike65

Thought you might like to browse this site which continues the spirit of Jalopy magazine (whatever happend to...).

A typical reader writes

Jaguar to 2CV (Tom Bartley-Smith)

Great to see the site updated! I was especially chuffed to see that you'd included my earlier e-mail (back in the days when I was plain old Tom Smith from Jesus College, Oxford). Well, one name change later (it's a long story...) and with my student days now a rapidly fading memory, I thought I'd touch base again.

The bad news is that the Jag's gone; she drank like George Best (most unladylike) and was costing an arm and a leg in fuel. The problem was exacerbated by dodgy connections behind the dash, which meant that the electronic fuel gauge would vanish for days on end. When the ghoulish green display returned, I'd find that I'd been running the car on fumes for the past 40 miles! With over 200bhp, rear-wheel drive and no traction control, she gave me a few hairy moments. Indeed, on one evening I'd sooner forget, I learned a salutory lesson on the dangers of injudicious use of the throttle when coupled with black ice and a nearby hedgerow. Having tried to kill me, she was christened 'Julia', after an ex-girlfriend...

I briefly left the world of bangers after selling Julia. I was faced with a daily commute from Cheltenham to Bristol and needed something safe, economical and reliable. I bought a brand new Peugeot 206 HDi (an excellent engine in a car that unfortunately seemed to have been thrown together), which I ran for a year.

Having (finally) finished university (3 years in Oxford and 1 in Bristol) in June 2003, and not being due to start my training as a solicitor until September, I decided to take a few months to tour Britain. My girlfriend and I settled on the idea of travelling from Land's End to John O'Groats, taking in as much as we could in between. We bought a caravan and needed a car capable of pulling it.

Welcome 'Viv', a 1991 Honda Accord 2.0i. Viv was perfect: she'd had four previous owners, came with a sheaf of bills, old MoT certificates and a nice collection of service stamps, showed 92,000 miles on the odometer, had a towbar fitted and drove like a dream. She carried us over 4,000 miles without missing a beat and didn't cost a penny. Unfortunately, my heart ruled my head with dear old Viv. I should have sold her in September, with a few months MoT left, having served her purpose. I didn't. Call it nostalgia or pure laziness, but I parked her on my parents' front lawn, where she has stayed to this day. I did make some (frankly pathetic) attempts to sell her in December, but it's not the ideal month to sell a car with 1 month's MoT remaining!

The problem is I've now got two more bangers cluttering mum and dad's driveway, and Viv really needs to go. I've resolved to get her MoT-ed soon and pop her on eBay: fingers crossed for a quick, painless sale!

As I mentioned, I started work in Cheltenham in September 2003, and, with a commute measured in yards rather than tens of miles, I didn't need the economy of the diesel 206. I yearned to return to my banger roots, and so in October sold the Peugeot (don't mention depreciation to me...) and bought 'Lynsey' from a colleague who was emigrating to Australia. Lynsey is a 1996 Escort 1.8 Si and she goes like stink. She was a 6 month old ex-demo when she was purchased by my former colleague, and he covered 130,000-odd miles in her. So she's what the trade describe as 'a bit leggy'. However, she's got a full Ford service history - the guy spent a fortune on her - and has the desirable option of (working) air-con. The weekend after I parted with £1,000 for her, we slapped GB stickers on her rear and popped across to Calais to stock up with wine. When we touched French soil the heavens opened, at which point I discovered Lynsey's one tiny fault - her windscreen wipers flailed around for a few seconds before leaving the windscreen altogether and flopping onto the wing mirrors, jamming both front doors closed. Oh! the joy at trying to explain to a local mechanic, shouting through an open window, in best pigeon French, that 'le windscreen wipers ne marche pas'...

Much as I was enjoying Lynsey's company, I realised that a bright red XR3i lookalike was not doing an enormous amount for my credibility. I needed something quirky; something fun; something as enjoyable to drive as my old Land Rover. Enter 'Jemima', purchased in January of this year. Jemima is, without doubt, the coolest car I've owned to date: a 1987 Citroen 2CV6 Dolly. She's covered a genuine 57,000 miles from new, has all her original booklets (including the sale invoice) and looks very smart indeed. She's not perfect, and will require a bit of welding for her next MoT, but for £690 (plus 40 euros - all I had in change and enough to sweeten the deal!) she looks like a bargain to me. The most amazing thing about Jemima is other people's reactions to her. I was bracing myself for sniggers and general derision, and have received quite the opposite. Everyone seems to love her. I wrote in my previous e-mail that one gets a 'warm glow' inside from driving a bargain motor; that feeling is even sweeter when you're getting admiring glances from people who ignore 'mundane' SLK Mercs and Porsche Boxsters!!

Mike.

Interceptor

Thanks Mike,

This passed a happy hour - a great site for people who don't see the logic of buying new cars and trading them in every two years. I might even start scrapping cars and selling bits on eBay.... if mrs 'cptr lets me!

'c