A few communist ones.

Flukey

Some years ago, Leonid Brezhnev wished to commission a portrait to be entitled, "Lenin in Poland," in honor of the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution. However, Russian painters, being schooled strictly in the realist school, were unable to paint an event which never actually occurred. "Comrade Brezhnev, we would like to do it, but we cannot. It goes against our training," replied each of the many artists approached by Chairman Brezhnev.

Finally, in desperation, Brezhnev was forced to ask the old Jewish painter, Levy. "Of course, I prefer to portray actual events, but I'll do the painting for you, Comrade. It would be my great honor." Levy commenced work on the painting. However, every time Brezhnev visited his studio in an attempt to see the work in progress, Levy rebuffed his efforts, telling him that he never allowed his unfinished works to be viewed.

Finally, the day of the unveiling arrived. Levy stood proudly by the cloth draped over his work. Brezhnev introduced Levy and gestured to his gift to the Russian people on the fiftieth anniversary of the Russian Revolution, a picture commemorating Lenin's historic visit to Poland. Everyone gasped as the cloth was removed to reveal a picture of a man and a woman together in bed.

Brezhnev was stunned. "Who is that man?" he stammered. "Why, that's Trotsky." "And who," Brezhnev inquired, "is that woman?" "That is Lenin's wife, Comrade Brezhnev." "But where is Lenin?" "He's in Poland," Levy explained.

Flukey

Two guys in a bread queue.

"Hey, are you in the KGB?"

"No."

"Are you related to anyone in the KGB?"

"No."

"Do you, in fact, know anyone in the KGB?"

"No..."

"Then get the hell off my foot."

Flukey

A member of the Central Committee falls sleep at a Party meeting. Suddenly a mouse runs across the room, and somebody yells: "Kill him! Kill, him!" The guy who was asleep wakes up suddenly and, still half asleep, yells: "And kill his brother also!"

Flukey

A history professor and a psychology professor are sitting outside at a nudist colony.

History professor - "Have you read Marx?"

Psychology professor - "Yes, I think it's from the wicker chairs."

stagolee

Flukey wrote:

A history professor and a psychology professor are sitting outside at a nudist colony.

History professor - "Have you read Marx?"

Psychology professor - "Yes, I think it's from the wicker chairs."

ah that last one made me laugh

simu

cool!

jaggeh

now if i could only get my hands on communist choir music my plans would be complete.

ive said too much...

simu

Best of Communism: Revolutionary Songs

Flukey

A variation on the Breshnev one above:


An artist is commissioned to do a painting about "Custer's Last Stand".

The big day comes for the unveiling in front of dignitaries and politicians. They pull the cloth off the painting and are aghast!!

The see a picture of a large prairie with a cow with a halo over its head looking at hundreds of Indians, fornicating on the ground.

The man who commissioned the painting was furious and asked the artist what the hell he was thinking of.

"Simple" said the Artist "It means 'Holy Cow! Look at all those F**KIN' Indians!'"

Capt'n Midnight

What's 300m long and eats cabbage ? A Polish meat queue.

Then there was the collective farm setup in the Gobi desert. Every thing was ok for a while But after a few years there was a shortage of sand.

An old couple were arguing about percipitation. "It's drizzel" he said , she said "just spitting" So he suggested they ask the commisar, "because Rudolph the red knows rain dear."

What do you call a condom in Russia ? A little red riding hood.

aidan_walsh

simu wrote:

Best of Communism: Revolutionary Songs

I wonder if you could be done for sharing that on KaZaa?