Born again virgin

The Bollox

I was talking to a girl yesterday who said she went to confession and confessed to the priest all her sexual activities, and said she wanted to be a virgin again, and get this: the priest told her to say something like 10 Hail Mary's and she would be forgiven, and become a born again virgin. I thought that was the funniest thing I have ever heard

Citizen_Erased

somepeople are that naive. But isnt there a physical change too, what about it?

aidan_walsh

Was the priest also a registered surgeon?

danniemcq

aidan_walsh wrote:

Was the priest also a registered surgeon?

or something else???

Scarinae

What??! Crazy priests...

I heard you can get a 'second virginity', as in you can have your hymen surgically reconstructed. It's gaining popularity in America, where women become virgins as wedding presents for their husbands

LadyJ

Citizen_Erased wrote:

somepeople are that naive. But isnt there a physical change too, what about it?

Say enough Hail Mary's and the blessed virgin herself comes down to stitch up your hymen!

aidan_walsh

Fishie wrote:

What??! Crazy priests...

I heard you can get a 'second virginity', as in you can have your hymen surgically reconstructed. It's gaining popularity in America, where women become virgins as wedding presents for their husbands

And like a lot of past, present and up and coming US fads, its been done in Japan for years.

The Bollox

Fishie wrote:

What??! Crazy priests...

I heard you can get a 'second virginity', as in you can have your hymen surgically reconstructed. It's gaining popularity in America, where women become virgins as wedding presents for their husbands

although I have not personally experienced it, but I have been told that being broken in is very painfull, why would you pay for more pain?

Geiger

I'd say after hearing of her sexual exploits the priest needed to get her out of there asap. There's only so much temptation a man can take

Pataman

when its gone, its gone.

Rhyme

"Please Father, restore my cherry"

Scarinae

Marts wrote:

although I have not personally experienced it, but I have been told that being broken in is very painfull, why would you pay for more pain?

I didn't think it was painful at all. Maybe they pay for more pain because they don't want their husbands to know that they've banged other people?

LadyJ

Fishie wrote:

Maybe they pay for more pain because they don't want their husbands to know that they've banged other people?

Bollox to that! I think the hubby would be well aware of the set up after he breaks through and finds himself pushing a sausage up O'Connell St! :rolleyes:

monkeyfudge

Fishie wrote:

I heard you can get a 'second virginity', as in you can have your hymen surgically reconstructed. It's gaining popularity in America, where women become virgins as wedding presents for their husbands

It doesn't make any sense.

Being a virgin means not having experienced sexual intercourse. The hymen has nothing to do with it.. you can lose your hymen in any number of ways.

Citizen_Erased

:eek: was that a metaphor?

The Bollox

LadyJ wrote:

Bollox to that! I think the hubby would be well aware of the set up after he breaks through and finds himself pushing a sausage up O'Connell St! :rolleyes:

LMFAO! you really have a way with words!

monkeyfudge

Citizen_Erased wrote:

:eek: was that a metaphor?

No. O'Connell street is actually located in her vagina. It was part of the revamp the City Council did.

airetam_storm

monkeyfudge wrote:

No. O'Connell street is actually located in her vagina. It was part of the revamp the City Council did.

Ah there really is no holding back here

Scarinae

monkeyfudge wrote:

Being a virgin means not having experienced sexual intercourse. The hymen has nothing to do with it.. you can lose your hymen in any number of ways.

Yes, I know that. I was just saying that there are crazy people out there who believe they can get their virginity back

Citizen_Erased

I think its brilliant

rainbow kirby

It's just funny really. Born-again virgin... lol.

LadyJ

Wish I could be a born again millionaire!

monkeyfudge

Can a man become a born again virgin? Possibly through some process involving siphoning the sperm back out of ex-girlfriends...

The Sweeper

monkeyfudge wrote:

No. O'Connell street is actually located in her vagina. It was part of the revamp the City Council did.

thank you, I've just snorted coffee all over my monitor.

LadyJ

monkeyfudge wrote:

Can a man become a born again virgin? Possibly through some process involving siphoning the sperm back out of ex-girlfriends...

Tut tut,unprotected sex is risky!

The Bollox

perhaps, but it's how Mother Nature intended

monkeyfudge

LadyJ wrote:

Tut tut,unprotected sex is risky!

Very good point... It could be tricky rounding up all those used prophylactics though. Most of them are probably washed up on Dolymount strand by now.

Citizen_Erased

LadyJ wrote:

Wish I could be a born again millionaire!

You have to have already been a millionaire to become a born again one.

LadyJ

Marts wrote:

perhaps, but it's how Mother Nature intended

Ah so it's she who should be on trial for for the murders of all those who die from STDs!

LadyJ

Citizen_Erased wrote:

You have to have already been a millionaire to become a born again one.

Look,just shut the hell up and gimme money!

The Bollox

nope, I said she intended for it to be naturel, she did not intend for some stupid assholes to start ****ing monkeys

monkeyfudge

Marts wrote:

nope, I said she intended for it to be naturel, she did not intend for some stupid assholes to start ****ing monkeys

If you are refering to HIV, it most likely managed to jump species through the consumption of bush meat. As in eating monkeys... and not in a sexy cunnalingus kind of way...

Citizen_Erased

WE are just glorified monkeys , some more than others...

vibe666

dread to think what the spike is!

so many jokes, too little time. i'm off to bed!

monkeyfudge

Citizen_Erased wrote:

WE are just glorified monkeys , some more than others...

Glorifying monkeys is my favourite pastime.

Now lets all here it for ANDi the Rhesus Macaque who became the first clone born with artificial gene inserted (in ANDi's case, Green Fluorescent Protein (GFP) from jellyfish). Horay!

Citizen_Erased

What (in italian)

pickarooney

Guevara.

Citizen_Erased

thank you

steveland?

Fishie wrote:

where women become virgins as wedding presents for their husbands

It's just not honeymoon sex if she doesn't bleed...

Citizen_Erased

What if they couldnt wait and opened their present early

LadyJ

Citizen_Erased wrote:

What if they couldnt wait and opened their present early

Then may they burn in the fires of hell!

Citizen_Erased

Says the persons whos sexs games involve inserting whole streets into places.

Tar.Aldarion

no you got it wrong,she inserts sausages,read carefully ^^

Citizen_Erased

but was the street not origionally inserted in an urban renewal scheme. Or was that not in a sexual manner...

monkeyfudge

Tar.Aldarion wrote:

no you got it wrong,she inserts sausages,read carefully ^^

Yeah. The city council is responsible for the streets.

I'm not so sure about the sausages though... I'm Jewish...

Citizen_Erased

they may have been cosur (mispelling) its hard to tell in this day and age.

SoupyNorman

Born again virgins!!!!! sure thats nearly as mad as heaven and earth and everlasting life!!!!

Citizen_Erased

And I'm the lord jesus christ too.













just kidding

Tar.Aldarion

''I'm not so sure about the sausages though... I'm Jewish...''
im a vegetarian guy,sausage=no ty

weemcd

she's got the ****in spire up there.
What more does she want?


i'll get my coat

skywalker

LadyJ wrote:

Bollox to that! I think the hubby would be well aware of the set up after he breaks through and finds himself pushing a sausage up O'Connell St! :rolleyes:

charming.

monkeyfudge wrote:

No. O'Connell street is actually located in her vagina. It was part of the revamp the City Council did.

Gave me a giggle first thing, cheers monkeyfudge.