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25 Questions Men Want To Ask Women

  • 02-07-2005 9:34pm
    #1
    Closed Accounts Posts: 5,531 ✭✭✭


    :D

    Here and now, for all the world to see, I feel compelled to reveal all the questions men have crawling around in their heads — the questions we're desperate to have answered but scared to death to ask our women. "

    1. Why do you all wish we were more like John Cusack?
    2. Do you or don’t you want us to open the door for you? Just let us know, and we’ll act accordingly.
    3. How can you look so cute in pigtails?
    4. Why the fascination with Harrison Ford? He’s old enough to be your father, for crying out loud? Seriously.
    5. When you ask "Does this look okay?" do you want honesty or support? We really can do both.
    6. How can you complain endlessly about having "so much work to do" and then find the time to go shopping or talk to someone on the phone for two hours?
    7. Do you ever get tired of watching The Sound of Music?
    8. Why is each anniversary such a big deal to you? I'm not talking about yearly anniversaries, but our first date? Our first kiss? The first time I met your mother?
    9. Do you think I'm better looking than Brad Pitt?
    10. How can you always remember those little things, like Great-Great Aunt Emma's birthday or the anniversary of Cousin Susie's dog's death?
    11. Why do you always ask us questions when you already know the answers?
    12. How can you always be up for going shopping?
    13. Chest hair — good or bad?
    14. Boxers or briefs? Be honest.
    15. Why do you find it endearing when a guy's in love and won't take no for an answer in the movies, but in real life you call it stalking?
    16. Why is it so easy for you to stop and ask directions?
    17. How do you innately seem to know what can or can’t go in the dryer?
    18. Why do you always complain about your mothers and then end up talking to them for hours upon hours?
    19. Why do you always go to the bathroom in groups?
    20. Facial hair. Good or bad?
    21. Looks or money?
    22. When you ask, “If I died, would you remarry?” What exactly are you looking for?
    23. If I died, would you remarry?
    24. Does your dad like me? No, seriously.
    25. How do you mange to be so cute, charming, silly, frustrating, beautiful, mysterious, complicated, simple and unbelievably interesting? No, seriously.


Comments

  • Moderators, Sports Moderators Posts: 8,679 Mod ✭✭✭✭Rew


    Is it just me or are they not very funny...?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,531 ✭✭✭jonny68


    Rew wrote:
    Is it just me or are they not very funny...?

    :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 7,745 ✭✭✭StupidLikeAFox


    they really arent anything special.....


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 5,531 ✭✭✭jonny68


    ColHol wrote:
    they really arent anything special.....


    Thank you for your constructive criticism :rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 974 ✭✭✭MooShop


    no not funny at all imo


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,016 ✭✭✭mad m


    ColHol wrote:
    they really arent anything special.....


    This was funnier,Col you auld legend you.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 9,535 ✭✭✭btkm8unsl0w5r4


    No funny at all. Pathetic:(


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,739 ✭✭✭BigEejit


    Is it just me or does anyone else think a gay man or a woman thought up most of those questions?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 1,549 ✭✭✭scuba steve


    Worst jokes ever


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 9,004 ✭✭✭Big Ears


    BigEejit wrote:
    Is it just me or does anyone else think a gay man or a woman thought up most of those questions?

    I was about to say that , not very funny its more like 25 questions women think men want to ask women .


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  • Closed Accounts Posts: 4,424 ✭✭✭joejoem


    Obviously written by a woman, even a gay man wouldnt write that ****e


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 293 ✭✭Buck Owens


    jonny68 wrote:
    25. How do you mange to be so cute, charming, silly, frustrating, beautiful, mysterious, complicated, simple and unbelievably interesting? No, seriously.

    tsk. gentle comedy.:rolleyes:


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,885 ✭✭✭Stabshauptmann


    jonny68 wrote:
    :D

    Here and now, for all the world to see, I feel compelled to reveal all the questions men have crawling around in their heads — the questions we're desperate to have answered but scared to death to ask our women. "

    Your list Im willing to bet wasnt one you wrote yourself, its not humour.


    1. Do you fancy any of my friends?
    2. Do you know which of your friends I fancy / been with
    3. How come your best frind is such a mouth
    4. Can your mother not tell I hate her
    5. Where do you want it
    6. Cant you make up your mind
    7. Do you honestly believe that
    8. Why dont you do something to help so
    9. Why should *I* help around the house. I work.
    10. Dont you realise thats not a *real* problem
    11. Do I look like I care?
    12. Can you put your ankles behind your ears
    13. Whats for dinner
    14. Do you really need all that
    15. How you doin'
    16. Why do you wear so much make up
    17. Does MY bum look big in this
    18. Guess what I ran over today
    19. Have you a headache?
    20. What do you want on your headstone.


    Probably more angry than funny but hey, thats the mood Im in.


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 6 budz


    He he he! Now that seems more like a real man's questionaire.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭BizzyC


    The OP's questions are terrible.
    Worst post ever!


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    Nice threadsave, Capt. Redeye!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 4,929 ✭✭✭Raiser


    How about -

    Why do ye keep asking if that dress/skirt/trousers makes your "bum look big" when clearly its all the chocolate?

    Asked from a safe distance of course ;)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 465 ✭✭drunkenfool


    All of thoses in favour of a public exection for johnny68 please rise.


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 3,012 ✭✭✭BizzyC


    All of thoses in favour of a public exection for johnny68 please rise.
    Ok, I've been standing here for the last 20 mins.......
    Is something going to happen???


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 665 ✭✭✭skittishkitten


    I'll try to answer honestly........

    1. Why do you all wish we were more like John Cusack?

    Don't you mean Johnny Depp ?


    2. Do you or don’t you want us to open the door for you? Just let us know, and we’ll act accordingly.

    Yes, unless I say no.


    3. How can you look so cute in pigtails?

    It's the tits.


    4. Why the fascination with Harrison Ford? He’s old enough to be your father, for crying out loud? Seriously.

    Richer older sexy male soon to die and leave us all his money.


    5. When you ask "Does this look okay?" do you want honesty or support? We really can do both.

    Support , unless you wish a short life.


    6. How can you complain endlessly about having "so much work to do" and then find the time to go shopping or talk to someone on the phone for two hours?

    It's called multitasking.



    7. Do you ever get tired of watching The Sound of Music?

    It makes you leave the room faster so we can watch the game in peace.



    8. Why is each anniversary such a big deal to you? I'm not talking about yearly anniversaries, but our first date? Our first kiss? The first time I met your mother?

    If we give you several hard ones to remember than you'll be sure to remember the easier ones. Our Anniversary , My Birthday, Valentines, Christmas.



    9. Do you think I'm better looking than Brad Pitt?

    OH MUCH Better, Your WAAAAAAAAYYYYYY better looking than Brad Pitt can ever Hope to be. I can get that new pair of shoes now right ?



    10. How can you always remember those little things, like Great-Great Aunt Emma's birthday or the anniversary of Cousin Susie's dog's death?

    We write it on the calendar.



    11. Why do you always ask us questions when you already know the answers?

    Just keeping you on your toes.



    12. How can you always be up for going shopping?

    How can you always be "up" for sex?



    13. Chest hair — good or bad?

    Bad



    14. Boxers or briefs? Be honest.

    Boxer briefs




    15. Why do you find it endearing when a guy's in love and won't take no for an answer in the movies, but in real life you call it stalking?

    Because they don't camp out on your lawn and follow you every waking moment in the movies




    16. Why is it so easy for you to stop and ask directions?

    Why would you rather be lost ?




    17. How do you innately seem to know what can or can’t go in the dryer?

    We read the tags.


    18. Why do you always complain about your mothers and then end up talking to them for hours upon hours?

    Research.



    19. Why do you always go to the bathroom in groups?

    Safety in numbers. ( or else a large private lesbian orgy that your not invited too ......... try not to think about it )



    20. Facial hair. Good or bad?

    A little bit is Good , Alot is Bad.



    21. Looks or money?

    Both



    22. When you ask, “If I died, would you remarry?” What exactly are you looking for?

    The time of your death.



    23. If I died, would you remarry?

    Already made the list.



    24. Does your dad like me? No, seriously.

    No. Why do you think I married you !



    25. How do you mange to be so cute, charming, silly, frustrating, beautiful, mysterious, complicated, simple and unbelievably interesting? No, seriously
    .

    Hormones

    ~


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  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 2,997 ✭✭✭jaggeh


    to be honest there are 25 questions on mens minds

    1.sex?
    2.food?
    3.tv?
    the rest are variations of the same


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 29,930 ✭✭✭✭TerrorFirmer


    I'll try to answer honestly........

    1. Why do you all wish we were more like John Cusack?

    Don't you mean Johnny Depp ?


    2. Do you or don’t you want us to open the door for you? Just let us know, and we’ll act accordingly.

    Yes, unless I say no.


    3. How can you look so cute in pigtails?

    It's the tits.


    4. Why the fascination with Harrison Ford? He’s old enough to be your father, for crying out loud? Seriously.

    Richer older sexy male soon to die and leave us all his money.


    5. When you ask "Does this look okay?" do you want honesty or support? We really can do both.

    Support , unless you wish a short life.


    6. How can you complain endlessly about having "so much work to do" and then find the time to go shopping or talk to someone on the phone for two hours?

    It's called multitasking.



    7. Do you ever get tired of watching The Sound of Music?

    It makes you leave the room faster so we can watch the game in peace.



    8. Why is each anniversary such a big deal to you? I'm not talking about yearly anniversaries, but our first date? Our first kiss? The first time I met your mother?

    If we give you several hard ones to remember than you'll be sure to remember the easier ones. Our Anniversary , My Birthday, Valentines, Christmas.



    9. Do you think I'm better looking than Brad Pitt?

    OH MUCH Better, Your WAAAAAAAAYYYYYY better looking than Brad Pitt can ever Hope to be. I can get that new pair of shoes now right ?



    10. How can you always remember those little things, like Great-Great Aunt Emma's birthday or the anniversary of Cousin Susie's dog's death?

    We write it on the calendar.



    11. Why do you always ask us questions when you already know the answers?

    Just keeping you on your toes.



    12. How can you always be up for going shopping?

    How can you always be "up" for sex?



    13. Chest hair — good or bad?

    Bad



    14. Boxers or briefs? Be honest.

    Boxer briefs




    15. Why do you find it endearing when a guy's in love and won't take no for an answer in the movies, but in real life you call it stalking?

    Because they don't camp out on your lawn and follow you every waking moment in the movies




    16. Why is it so easy for you to stop and ask directions?

    Why would you rather be lost ?




    17. How do you innately seem to know what can or can’t go in the dryer?

    We read the tags.


    18. Why do you always complain about your mothers and then end up talking to them for hours upon hours?

    Research.



    19. Why do you always go to the bathroom in groups?

    Safety in numbers. ( or else a large private lesbian orgy that your not invited too ......... try not to think about it )



    20. Facial hair. Good or bad?

    A little bit is Good , Alot is Bad.



    21. Looks or money?

    Both



    22. When you ask, “If I died, would you remarry?” What exactly are you looking for?

    The time of your death.



    23. If I died, would you remarry?

    Already made the list.



    24. Does your dad like me? No, seriously.

    No. Why do you think I married you !



    25. How do you mange to be so cute, charming, silly, frustrating, beautiful, mysterious, complicated, simple and unbelievably interesting? No, seriously
    .

    Hormones

    ~


    Lol! Nice one :):)


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 539 ✭✭✭DawnMc


    What?? Thats not funny at all! And it's a gross gross stereotype!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 11,987 ✭✭✭✭zAbbo


    Load of cock, remember when this board was funny?


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 607 ✭✭✭DAEDULUS


    no not really :P


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 1,440 ✭✭✭Dizzyblabla


    15. Why do you find it endearing when a guy's in love and won't take no for an answer in the movies, but in real life you call it stalking?

    Cause the guy in the movies is cute??!


    I thought some of them were funny... maybe I'm just easily amused!


  • Registered Users, Registered Users 2 Posts: 856 ✭✭✭StonedParadoX


    yep .. hes been redeemed*


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 950 ✭✭✭EamonnKeane


    1.sex?
    2.food?
    3.tv?
    the rest are variations of the same


    ha







    ha











    ha...


  • Closed Accounts Posts: 52 ✭✭Redneck_Rebel


    1. Hows your LCQ (land cows and quota)?
    2. Have you any brother and if not are you the oldest in your family?
    3. What kinda tractor do you drive?
    4. Can you boil spuds?
    5. Will you collect me from the pub when I can't stand up?
    6. When you do the shoping(coz you will), will you Know to get the essentials:Spuds
    TK red lemonade
    A packet of sucky sweets
    A brown loaf
    6 pack of Tayto Cheese & Onion
    Barnbrac
    Marmalade

    7. Can you listen to Shania Twain for hour on end?
    8. Can you plough?
    9. Would a good Sunday consist of Eating sangwiches out of the boot of a car at GAA?
    10. Will you let my mother live with us?


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