Thinking of setting up my own business

Binomate

I have been thinking of setting up my own business if the Leaving Cert. doesn't work out for me in August. I'll rent a small man or a dwarf and dress him up as a leprechaun, put him in a cage and stand out at the airport all day waiting for retarded American tourists to come along. When they see him I'll take their money in exchange of where to find lucky leprechauns and I'll split the profits with my little colleague. I was out at the airport this morning dropping off my cousins who were over from Scotland for the weekend for a wedding and then popped in to visit me and my family. After they got checked in to their flight and went on their way I went for breakfast in one of the cafes. I was sitting down peacefully when I hear in an American accent "excuse me sir". I looked up and saw two old people looking over at me from another table. "Are you from around here sir?" he asked and I replied "yes". He then asks "My wife and I were debating here if we should venture outside of Dublin down into the country. She wants to see a leprechaun. Do you know where we might see one? You don't get them in Dublin do you?". He said it in a perfectly serrious tone so I just laughed and left. This is now the second time I've been asked by an American where the best place to find a leprechaun would be.


[edit] Upps at the spelling of buisness.

qz

Oh. My. God.

Naos

/steals your idea
/captures little person
/flees to Dublin Airport

0wn3d.

OLP

you can have a pot full of chocolate money aswell

grimloch

I recall being asked about leprechuans before at some stage by an American, big surprise.

is_that_so

OLP wrote:

you can have a pot full of chocolate money aswell

Chocolate leprechauns, there's a plan :rolleyes:

Kazujo

A friend of mine was working in the states and he told all of his co workers that leprechauns were evil little creatures that pileged towns and wreeked general mayhem.

Worts thing was that they belived him and are now frightened to come to Ireland, ah gulible Americans

is_that_so

Story told to me many moons ago. Some of American visitors were in the capital of "Oirish" culture - Killarney and the shillelagh cabaret - Foster and Allen in green shorts type of thing was a big attraction for them. One of the Americans saw one of the guys from the show , still kitted out in green, heading to an alehouse after the show and was heard to say " Oh my God a 6ft 2 leprechaun."

Binomate

I love the Americans that gloat about "Back home". I was down in connemara last easter and we decided to walk to the nearest Off-liscence which was 10 miles away. On our way back with a crate of cans we saw a local that we knew rebuilding a wall in a small potatoe field. We got talking to him and about 10 minutes later a bus load of American tourists stops beside the field and they all get out. They started taking pictures of the lot of us in the field with the crate of beer and the local re-building the wall! We got talking to them as well and some how the conversation naturaly took it's course and the topic changed to potatoes. The local we knew pulled up on of his potatoes from his field and gave it to him. One of the Americans shouts out "Back home we have potatoes 10 times the seize of those ones!".The local had had enough at this stage and just lets out "Oh yeah? Well it's a big potatoe for a big mouth". He then continued to just let loose at the Americans, it was hilarious. The Americans quickly piled into their bus and sped off!

rymus

Frankly I find it quite amazing that many Americans can find Ireland.. All too many of them seem to be under the impression that "Ireland" is a suburb of one American state or another.

I think we've all been asked about where to find leprechauns though. I even remember back when being asked was funny. Now it just makes me want to get ethnic on their asses

JackKelly

I was asked if we had electricity in Ireland. 0_o

Third_Echelon

I heard somewhere about a guy who setup a 'business' charging american tourists to go on a leprachaun safari. He'd bring them into a bog somewhere in the midlands and bring them through fields etc.... every so often he would shout "there's one get down quick"

of course the yanks all got down, while he proceeded to point in the direction of the leprachaun.... "You can see it there just beside that fence" etc etc

One or two of the yanks actually claimed they saw one while on the safari... hillarious...

Binomate

Third_Echelon wrote:

I heard somewhere about a guy who setup a 'business' charging american tourists to go on a leprachaun safari. He'd bring them into a bog somewhere in the midlands and bring them through fields etc.... every so often he would shout "there's one get down quick"

of course the yanks all got down, while he proceeded to point in the direction of the leprachaun.... "You can see it there just beside that fence" etc etc

One or two of the yanks actually claimed they saw one while on the safari... hillarious...

Brilliant!! A leprechaun safari! roflmao!

The Clown Man

Oh I've heard loads of funny questions from Americans.

Saddest were questions about the availability of water, and electricty.

Also my brother had an American he was staying with try to describe to him what a computer was before finally introducing him to this marvel of American Civilisation.

He sat through it all very patiently and then sat down to log onto msn and chat with my mother who is bloody always on msn. Said american was astounded.

Also, an old schoolmate from Lucan once told me he took £50 from an American couple to reveal a secret Leprechan hiding place that foreigners were not supposed to find out about.

Piste

I know a guy who's friend went to the states and wore nothing but green. He claimed that he was half leprechaun-half giant so he was normal height.

Lynibeth

"Thinking of setting up my own buisness"

Hmmm.. first learn how to spell business....

OFDM

Why should American's know anything about Ireland? After all how many Irish people could tell you what the water and electricity situation is in Peru or Laos or be able to pick out those countries on a topographical map?

Ask yourself what you know about Panama, or Guam. I don't even know where Guam is but I have feeling it's in the approximate direction of Vietnam. Or Africa.

On a world scale, we're not all that special really.

[edit]
Turns out i was several thousands miles out with Guam, but they appear to have hot women, which partially makes up for it.
[/edit]

Easily_Irritated

OH dear lord!

Bloody americans....

DonkeyStyle \o/

It really makes you wonder what kind of Irish tourism promotion is going on over there, that so many americans come to Ireland looking for leprechauns.
I'd love to know what they think leprechauns are... do they imagine the fairy-tale version? or something more believable, like a secretive tribe that just happens to have some really f*cked up genes that make them tiny... wearing green out of tradition... or something like that.

Naos

rymus wrote:

Frankly I find it quite amazing that many Americans can find Ireland.. All too many of them seem to be under the impression that "Ireland" is a suburb of one American state or another.

Thats Arland off the state of texas...

Met 2 american girls here in Spain in a train station and went to a cafe with them. They proceeded to ask me questions like "Are all the families big with loads of children?" "Are you all catholics?" etc.

We had jokingly compared suntans when one said to me;
"Do they bathe often in Ireland?"
"No, We dont get much sun in Ireland"
"Er, But do you guys bathe often?"
"No, we dont because its raining all the time"

Cue bewildered look from them...,
Me: "Oh you mean wash? Wtf, of course Why would you ask that??"

I assumed Sunbathe .. But seriously.. Do we wash often...?

DonkeyStyle \o/

Mear wrote:

But seriously.. Do we wash often...?

No, you were right the first time... it rains all the time, so I just head outside with the bar of soap... never really bathe as such.

Hobbes

Saw it mention on Irish tourist site one of the woman got asked where they could find Leprechauns. The woman mentioned they were fictional creatures and the tourist had a go at her telling her she didn't know anything. So she set them up with a package to Sligo to go Leprechaun hunting.

Jaggehs is the most classic though. When he was a kid he stayed in the US for one year. While there (Michigan) the local paper interviewed him. He told them that no one owned a car in Dublin and everyone walked or used a horse to get around. They printed it too.

bringitdown

When I was younger lad not 2 feet off the ground I had a face full of freckles, and more so in the summer. I also had a mop of curly hair. One sunny day a bus load of americans pulled into the B&B across the road. I wandered over for a gander sporting my new green jumper......

Well I've never had to run as fast since.

Faith and Begorra.

amp

rymus wrote:

Frankly I find it quite amazing that many Americans can find Ireland.. All too many of them seem to be under the impression that "Ireland" is a suburb of one American state or another.

I think we've all been asked about where to find leprechauns though. I even remember back when being asked was funny. Now it just makes me want to get ethnic on their asses

In fairness they do seem to a have a problem with lucky charm retention. I'm no expert but leprechauns may be behind this. If so the fault is with our nation and not theirs.

Glipmac

An american pamflet, from my made up company Yankie.con.com