blond jokes!

homerule

blond jokes!!

homerule

Two blondes are passing by a fruit shop when the grocer calls to them, "Bananas. 50 cents each or three for a dollar!"

The girls stop and look at each other. "Well I suppose we could always eat the third one!"

homerule

blonde woman starts a new job as an executive assistant. Her boss tells her to call his partner and pull up a chair to take notes.

The blonde asks,"Do you want me to use your dictaphone?"

"No", says the boss,"Just use your finger like everyone else."

redkid

not great

Lust4Life

Brunette standing on the Railroad tracks jumping from rail to rail saying "Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven."
A Blonde walks up and asks her what she is doing.
"Oh, I'm just having loads of fun jumping from one rail to the other saying "Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven."
The Blonde says "Wow! Well, if it's that much fun, do you mind if I give it a go?"
The Brunette steps aside and says "Sure! Give it a go!"
So the Blonde hops on the tracks and starts doing the same thing, jumping and chanting "Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven, Ninety-Seven." and a moment later, a train comes through and completely flattens the blonde!

The Brunette jumps back on the track and continues her game...
" Ninety-Eight, Ninety-Eight, Ninety-Eight, Ninety-Eight."

Lust4Life

More Blonde Jokes...

A gorgeous young redhead goes into the doctor's office and said that her body hurt wherever she touched it.
"Impossible!" says the doctor. "Show me."
The redhead took her finger, pushed on her left breast and screamed, then she pushed her elbow and screamed in even more. She pushed her knee and screamed; likewise she pushed her ankle and screamed. Everywhere she touched made her scream.
The doctor said, "You're not really a redhead, are you?
"Well, no" she said, "I'm actually a blonde."
"I thought so," the doctor said. "Your finger is broken."


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A highway patrolman pulled alongside a speeding car on the freeway. Glancing at the car, he was astounded to see that the blonde behind the wheel was knitting! Realizing that she was oblivious to his flashing lights and siren, the trooper cranked down his window, turned on his bullhorn and yelled, "PULL OVER!"
"NO!" the blonde yelled back, "IT'S A SCARF!"

The Bollox

two blonds were walking in the park one night. there was a silence between them for a minute or two so one of them broke it by asking "which is farther away? the Moon or London" and the second blonde looked at her like she had three heads "can you see London, can ya?"

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three blondes were walking along one day when they came across some tracks on the ground. The first blonde said "oooh look, rabit tracks" the second blonde looked at her and said "don't be daft, they're pidgeon tracks" and the third piped up "are ya stupid or wha? they're deer tracks". They stood there arguing for nearly 10 minutes before the train hit them

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I'm sure you'll have heard this one before, but anyway

a Blonde was driving along, minding her own business, she was lost in her thoughts for a second and didn't quite react in time to stop her hitting into the car infront at the traffic lights. she sat there cacking herself when a big heffer of a woman came out of the front car and up to the blondes window. "look wha' ye did te me car, ye little B*tch!" and got the blonde out of her car. on inspection the blondes car was almost untouched, just a little paint scratch, but the other womans car was in bits. The other woman went back to her car and took a can of spray paint and sprayed a circle on the ground around the blonde. "if you move from this circle before I tell you to you will regret it!". Then the woman took a baseball bat out and smashed the blondes windows, all of them. The woman looked to the blonde for a reaction and saw she was giggling. So the woman took out a knife and slashed the blondes tires. This time when she looked to the blonde she was laughing louder. Getting annoyed the woman took a can of petrol from the trunk of her car and doused the blondes car in it and set it alight. When the woman looked to the blonde this time she was on her knees in stitches laughing. Fed up the woman asked the blonde what was so funny and she said "when you had your back turned I stepped out of the circle three times"

g5hn710m4xpdwy

Why did the blonde climb over the glass wall?
Too see what was on the other side;)