Irish English and Scottish man jokes

steo93

One day the three of them were on a plane Paddy English said were over Spain how do you know said Paddy Irish and Scottish because my hand is burnt. Paddy Scottish said were in the Antartic because my hand is frosen. Paddy Irish said we must be over Darndale because my watch is after being robbed.


one day they were in the desert with no food then they see a camel walking past they killed it. paddy scottish said i am from the heart of scotland so i will eat the heart so he did. paddy english said i am from liverpool so i will eat the liver so he did. paddy irish said i am from ballsbridge and i am not hungry

rugbug86

paddy english man, paddy irish man and paddy scots man were in a brand spanking new pub in town, so new that it didn't have a name. The barman said that as they were the first customers they could name it, the only condition was that the new name had to contain the word "Queen". So paddy irish says "the queens head" and the barman didnt like it. paddy scots man says the queens arms but the barman wasnt sure, he did however like paddy english mans suggestion of "The Queen's Legs" and decided to go with that.

The next morning the barman arrived down to open it to see the three lads standing outside it and he asked what they were doing there, so paddy englishman says

"We're waiting for the Queen's legs to open so we can have a drink."

steo93

hilarious

Plug

All the paddys were staying in a small hotel when they lost the keys to the room. They went down to the reception room to find that the woman wasent there but a number to ring. There was no phone around so they called into a nearby house.
A strange looking woman answered and siad come in. When they went into the room it was covered in d1cks, lots.They asked could they use her phone. She replied only if you do me a favour first. She asked paddy english man what was your fathers job? he was a butcher so she cut his d1ck off with a machety and hung it on the wall.
Next was paddy scot mans question, what was your father, oh he was a barber so she cut his d1ck off with a sissor then she hung it up. finally paddy irish man, what was your father? smiling he siad he was a lolly pop man and the rest is history.

rugbug86

i dont get it :rolleyes:


(I like it!)

TerrorFirmer

The darndale one is classic

joejoem

Did anyone else find them hard to read?

WizZard

joejoem wrote:

Did anyone else find them hard to read?

My head hurts...

Tyrrial

they seemed just fine to me

keilithk

paddy irish man , paddy english man ,paddy french man and paddy china man were all on a plane flying to greece
as they fly over ireland paddy irishman says there goes ireland,
as they fly over england paddy english man says there goes england,
as they fly over france paddy fench man says there goes france ,
5 minutes later paddy china man jumps up crying ,
paddy irish man askes whats the matter ,
he replies were never gona pass my country ,
paddy irish man grabs 2 plates ,
throws them out the window ,
and says There Goes China

jadewacky13

paddy English man, paddy Irish man and paddy Scot's man were at a fun park.The man at the park said if you shout what you wish for you'll land in it. So paddy English man was going down the rollcoaster and he shouted gold so he landed in a pot of gold. Paddy Scot's man shouted out sweets and he landed in sweets. Paddy Irish man went down the rollacoaster and shouted weeeeee!