A face from the past...

cocopops

Ok so this is my first post having been a reader for quite a while. Jusr something that i can't stop thinking about and i'd love an outsider's opinion, thanks.

I fell in love (for the first time!) with my best friend two years ago and started being a bitch to his new girlfriend, hoping against hope that they wouldn't last. But he got fed up of it and cut me off and they lasted for the past two years and basically, he cut off not just me but a whole circle of friends and we were all so hurt.

So now they've broken up and he's devastated and everyone has taken him back, no questions asked. Except he still wouldn't talk to me and it was awkward there for about a month. UNTIL SUNDAY MORNING that is. Basically we were at an all nighter house party and after avoiding each other all night as usual, he came into the kitchen where i was tidying up, I asked him how he was and we spoke for the first time in two years.

We talked for about half an hour and he kept saying how i was his bestest friend and i'd hurt him more than anyone had ever hurt him in his life by not making an effort with his girlfriend and he simply couldn't forgive me and move on. That he was just too angry and he'd seen the way i was around her. So he wouldn't hear me out. Now, I realise how much i've hurt him and i really want to make it up to him.

The question is do i contact him, even though he specifically asked me not to text him cos it was 'just too hard' and it 'melted his head'. I just want him to see where i was coming from. I didn't think they were going to last cos he was always a player and so i wasn't bothered getting used to someone who wasn't gonna be around for long. And besides it's not the easiest thing in the world, spending so much time with the person you LOVE and their flavour of the week.

Or do i just respect his wishes to be left alone and hope he forgives me in his own time? And should I be mad, that our circle of friends forgave him for running off and he won't forgive me?! I'm devastated that he doesn't wanna try and trust me again. We did everything together until she came along. I just want my best friend back.

By the way, we're both 21. Thanks for reading.

Chinafoot

i know how you feel. i was cut off by my "best friend" almost 2 years ago because he thought i didnt like his girlfriend. i only ever met her once and thought she was nice but apparently i didnt make the effort and he cut me off with no explanation.

i tried to get in contact with him for ages to sort it out but to be honest it got to the stage where i was only hurting myself because he just wouldnt speak to me.

this guy came and talked to you which is a good sign. i'd say dont text him or anything because he specifically asked you not to. It sounds like you'll both be in similar social situations and chances are over time you may get back on speaking terms. he's told you how hurt he was at how you acted and you admit yourself you were being a bítch.

just give it time.

The_B_Man

ye sounds like u blew it. sounds like u were important to him but when it came down to it he chose the girl over u. that doesnt mean he didnt like u but relationships hav a way of makin u choose your "flavour of the week" over your long time friends. at he moment, im assumin hes on the rebound stagee, so u should stay as far way as possible. after TIME, them u might hav a few small words wit him like u did after that house party. be happy wit that. build that up gradually and after a while u 2 will SEEM on better terms. the important thing to do is to let him texst u forst b4 u start txtin him. sit back and dont be puttin pressure on him in any way. the main thing is slow small steps.

although, the hard thing is deciphering whether he liked u as a friend or more. theres a possibility that u cud just come out straight and tell him u want his sexy body and he may jump at the chance! or he could totatlly cut off communication! but thats more of an "all or nothing" scenario. the best all round bet is slow small steps like i said. oh and DONT go drinkin wit him. that'll be more of a disaster then wat happened in me local tonight! a bloke proposed after a month to this grl and brought her up on stage and she sed NO! the shame! so wat im sayin is....DONT PROPOSE!

Prior Of Taize

"chasing"...i did that for 2 years with a girl that was, at the time, my best friend....

It doesnt work. It either means a very unrealistic comeback or just a point of realisation for one or other of you.

I totally understand how awesome friends are. That being said...some people just dont forgive that easily.

There is also the entire issue of you making him unhappy because you fancied him...perhaps you should see the bigger picture here and reevaluate your situation here. You (obviously maliciously) attempted to sabotage his relationship for your own good. Now the only thing that really does is make you human but for someone who was supposedly your best friend you chose the wrong path if you intended for everything to work out.

kegan5

Ya brought that one on urself by being a meanie! Best friends and partners just don't go hand in hand do they?
Ah well.. I had a similar experience sthankfully it only lasted a week but it was still bad! BMan i'm talkin about the tenerife holiday thing with Kelly! that sucked big time...but I'm not about to poor my life's story out on this forum so neurgh

The_B_Man

kegan5 wrote:

BMan i'm talkin about the tenerife holiday thing with Kelly!

ye thats wat spirits will do to you! but i think that situation was slightly different, unless kelly was fallin in love wit me or something!
ah no but u had taken their favourite bman away from them. actually, i might change me advice above about not drinkin. you should all get more drunk than u've ever been and have a massive big incident in the pub with all your mates together. that should clear the air. though it might get weird for a day or 2.

kegan5

The_B_Man wrote:

ye thats wat spirits will do to you! but i think that situation was slightly different, unless kelly was fallin in love wit me or something!
ah no but u had taken their favourite bman away from them. actually, i might change me advice above about not drinkin. you should all get more drunk than u've ever been and have a massive big incident in the pub with all your mates together. that should clear the air. though it might get weird for a day or 2.

Kelly does love u he told me! And I'm not talkin about him and talkin about the OTHERS! Oh well me and my evilness ey!

cocopops

Cheers everyone, i'm holding out ok and not contacting him. It might go to pieces if i get drunk at the weekend so i'll keep you all posted! Thanks again!