why is it

synchro

when ur in the company of some ppl, ur like a house on fire, quick witted etc
then with other ppl u appear mentally challenged
and with others just poor relaxed
i dont get it why is tis the case?!

Victor

Group vibe?

AdMMM

I have actually had a good think about this in the past.

I think it all comes down to psychology at the end of day. In a group of some people you may find yourself with a need to impress which makes you overthink things and therefore you appear to others as being a bit sluggish. This is especially the case when you are in a group of people that has a few people with good self-confidence, probably more-so than yourself. Whereas in a group of people who you are most comfortable speaking to, these characteristics (quick-witted etc) will flourish!

Other times it could be just you not wanting to fùck up what you say. This was what happened with me on a few occassions with previous girlfriends, I was so afraid of fùcking up things by saying something stupid that I barely said or did anything that I usually could with my other friends!

synchro

very well put there
agree with all you got to say
like tat now i made an ass of myself last night among a group of ppl who had more self confidence than me
wat can u do to combat this really annoying thing though?

|.Murderer.| wrote:

I have actually had a good think about this in the past.

I think it all comes down to psychology at the end of day. In a group of some people you may find yourself with a need to impress which makes you overthink things and therefore you appear to others as being a bit sluggish. This is especially the case when you are in a group of people that has a few people with good self-confidence, probably more-so than yourself. Whereas in a group of people who you are most comfortable speaking to, these characteristics (quick-witted etc) will flourish!

Other times it could be just you not wanting to fùck up what you say. This was what happened with me on a few occassions with previous girlfriends, I was so afraid of fùcking up things by saying something stupid that I barely said or did anything that I usually could with my other friends!

aliveandkicking

I always wondered this aswell because I have exactly the same problem too. With some people or groups I go completely into my shell and am very quiet and timid yet with others I am quick witted, talkative & confident. I guess its just down to natural chemistry you have with certain people and not with others.

synchro

aliveandkicking wrote:

I always wondered this aswell because I have exactly the same problem too. With some people or groups I go completely into my shell and am very quiet and timid yet with others I am quick witted, talkative & confident. I guess its just down to natural chemistry you have with certain people and not with others.

tats a good point about the natural chemmistry, i guess if u go into ur shell or end up makin a twit of yourselve then that group of ppl are not compatible with you!wat ye think?

marshmallow

I've wondered this aswell. It happens to everyone. I have different groups of friends and with some I'm very talkitive and others not so much. Some of them I might talk to on msn or txt a lot but might only see them now and again and it's all about confidence. Yesterday my friend commented how quiet I was being, I think it was just I was feeling a bit down because I didn't feel embarrassed or awkward at all.

It happens a lot with relationships. We might get nervous and think ''don't fúck up, don't fúck up..''

Bottle_of_Smoke

synchro wrote:

very well put there
agree with all you got to say
like tat now i made an ass of myself last night among a group of ppl who had more self confidence than me
wat can u do to combat this really annoying thing though?

You'll have to stop being bothered by what certain people think of you. As someone said its fear of fúcking things up

LegacyUser

I think we all need a drug that makes us stop thinking
Do you think confident, popular people think like this? No
That's our problem - stop thinking/worrying/caring so much.
Go with the flow

Easier said than done of course, but there you go )

nesf

synchro wrote:

then with other ppl u appear mentally challenged

This one is probably common for anyone if they are talking to someone far more intelligent than they are. Not necessarily the case, but I'm sure everyone has met someone who made them feel stupid at some point in their life. Well, maybe not stupid, close-minded perhaps?

The others are just a confidence/comfort thing. Relax, chill and be yourself. That's the only advice worth following imo.

Victor

nesf wrote:

This one is probably common for anyone if they are talking to someone far more intelligent than they are.

Not necessarily as you say. The ability to articulate (or just blabber sometimes ) or lack thereof, confidence within the group and the ability to engage in small talk without feeling like an idiot are important.

Dr. Loon

AnotherGuest wrote:

I think we all need a drug that makes us stop thinking

That's called alcohol, and it really works!

Peteee

I'm like this. With one group of people i'm quick witted and rather hilarious (Certain people will vouch for this)

In others i barely say a thing, because nothing funny or intelligent/interesting pops into my head. I actually cant think of anything to say, just because of different people who are around me???

I get on way easier with intelligent people who have interesting things to say, rather then the weather or how drunk they got last night. A certain bit of that is fine, but generally i cant stand it.

spudington16

It's all about self-confidence. Others will only like you if you can say you like yourself as a person. You can't go through life dependent on other people's opinion of you, though. You just have to be yourself and if other people don't get that then it's their problem - not yours.

_blank_

Peteee wrote:

I'm like this. With one group of people i'm quick witted and rather hilarious (Certain people will vouch for this)

In others i barely say a thing, because nothing funny or intelligent/interesting pops into my head. I actually cant think of anything to say, just because of different people who are around me???

I get on way easier with intelligent people who have interesting things to say, rather then the weather or how drunk they got last night. A certain bit of that is fine, but generally i cant stand it.

Are you me?

nesf

Victor wrote:

Not necessarily as you say. The ability to articulate (or just blabber sometimes ) or lack thereof, confidence within the group and the ability to engage in small talk without feeling like an idiot are important.

Perhaps the perception of intelligence of the other person?

Perhaps intelligence is the wrong word to be using here. Stupid words getting in the way of me expressing myself

AdMMM

If you need alcohol in order to socialise then you have a problem .

CathyMoran

I have always been very shy - it still shows up when I first meet people where I would tend to talk too fast and think before I talk which is very bad. The fast talking tends to happen more when one of the people in the group un-nerves me for whatever reason. On the other hand, if I meet someone whom a close friend/relative holds in high regard I will tend to be more relaxed with them faster...there are some people who just click, if they are male it would tend to mean that I am not physically attracted to them.