Kids & Drugs

tirl

My brother is divorced from the B****h from hell. He applied 4 yrs ago for sole custody of his son, and after going through hell wasn't granted it. Ex drinks and has no control over child he is allowed do what he wants, has plenty of money is out all hours smokes and drinks and anytime my bro calls ex she just hangs up after telling him that it's none of his business. We got the health Board involved 2 yrs ago as there were so many concerns, that was a waste of time, all they offered was" we asked child and he said he wasn't smoking or drinking" well duh! did they think he was going to admit it.

They finally closed the case as they said it was different parenting styles and thought my bro was too strict. Things have just gone from bad to worse now, child doesn't want to stay with his father as he keeps confiscating cigs and has last visit found cig papers tobacco and reefer papers so now suspect he is expereminting with drugs, has called ex to discuss but she keeps hanging up on him. Child is 12 but is hanging around with 16-17 yr olds. He doesn't know where to turn next as it is like a brick wall. The only reasl contact is her taking him back to couirt regularly for more maintenence he has brought it up with Judge, but it is his word against hers and they tend to go on the womens side. Any advice most welcome

tirl

suggestions anyone please, surprised not even one reply

Oryx

It will take heaven and earth to get social services to do anything in a case like this. I have no idea where your bro can go to from here, but wanted to reply to show someone is paying attention here. At least the boy has a solid parent to turn to when he eventually cops on (and he will).

tirl

Thanks Katie

I was beginning to wonder why a serious issue like this had no reply's.
Yes I agree with you about Social Services, the Woman is always right according to the courts and Social Services, we have actually been told that the best we can hope for is that the child will get into trouble with the Gardai and they will take it over, which is an awful attitude

causal

If your bro wants sole custody then he needs to find out under what circumstances that may be granted. Presumably it'll only be if it's in the childs best interest, which might be if the child is suffering abuse and/or neglect while in the mothers care.
So then find out what constitutes abuse, neglect.
Then determine if this corresponds to the childs situation.
If so - then try health board again? court?

Also, what evidence is there to support his claims:
- Video of the kid smoking/drinking at all hours?
- Deterioration of the childs school attendance/bahaviour/performance?
- Deterioration of the childs health (mental/physical)?

Your bro should also be careful that his own actions can't be construed as harassment.

good luck,
causal

SAXA

Might get more replys on the PI board

Alana

I'm not sure what the name of the group is, but near me in tallaght theres a single/divorced/widowed father's group...it's for fathers who have been treated like sh1t but social services etc, and are campaigning for their rights to see their children.Sorry I cant be more specific, but I'm sure if you looked up the Echo, or golden pages maybe, or even Irish times archives you might find something, and they might be able to give your brother some pointers.

Otherwise I think casuals advice is excellent, evidence, evidence, evidence.