Would you join a cult?

AARRRGH

Imagine a cult started in Kerry. You will live in a very beautiful and peaceful commune with rivers and trees and gardens full of organic food. Your life will be peaceful and healthy. You will be fully removed from the rat race, and you will spend your days meditating, playing sports, working in the garden, and educating yourself. You will not have a television, but you will have most modern equipment, including internet access and a word processor to publish books.

Life in this cult will not be competive, and it will be very non-judgemental.

There will be a 50/50 mix of men and women.

Sound interesting or totally freaky? Something in me tells me it would be nice, but my aggressive/competitive side would go mad.

Would you join? Yes, no, or maybe, given the right circumstances...

pat kenny

How hot are the chicks?
Do they put out easy?
Is the leader eventually going to make us drink poison lemonade?
Are we allowed leave of out own free will?
So many questions.

Sarky

Bah.

Screw the hippy undertones, I want a Cult Of The Machine. All hail the Technocracy, and glory to the Omnissiah!

AARRRGH

pat kenny wrote:

How hot are the chicks?
Do they put out easy?
Is the leader eventually going to make us drink poison lemonade?
Are we allowed leave of out own free will?
So many questions.

Chicks are cute. Most of them are from Iceland.
They are a little bit slutty.
The leader is a normal enough bloke. He is not violent.
Yes you can leave, but it is greatly frowned upon.

Feel free to replace the beautiful gardens etc. with some kind of alternative you would enjoy. (i.e. a nerd paradise, an animal island etc.)

toiletduck

nah, i dont wana be removed from the rat race. i think i might win!

Glipmac

maybe most good tv is on the net anyway, may depend on the connection

Lord Nikon

Iceland chicks eh, excellente. Sounds good, too far from me though, hope they start one in Kildare, i'll be interested in that.

AARRRGH

Glipmac wrote:

maybe most good tv is on the net anyway, may depend on the connection

Part of the deal is that you break contact with the otuside *commercial* world. Keeping up to date on wars etc. is OK.

Repli

I wouldn't.. can do most if not all of those things in real life already

Glipmac

harsh what about family guy? or starwars any thing like that?

toiletduck

i find it suspicious that you made no mention of alcohol, would it be tolerated? if not, then i think the numbers joining up would dwindle

BossArky

Baked spuds & curry?
Why Icelandic?
Is there a LAN in this place?

ferdi

'cult' implies some sort of underlying motive.

do we have to harvest lima beans?

AARRRGH

Glipmac wrote:

harsh what about family guy? or starwars any thing like that?

Nah, part of the deal is that you have to cut all ties with this part of life...

Rhyme

Even though people have a lot of stigma against cults and the like... the image you've painted doesnt seem like too bad a place to spnd the rest of my days.

Questions:
Dresscode?
Commercials are out but what about other media such as movies etc...?
Whats the food like?
Are suggestions on improvement permitted?
Do we have to give anything up apart from the aforementioned things?
Are we destroyed if we find the leaders time machine?
...

Glipmac

Harsh, just harsh waht about DVD's? are thay allowed? PLEASE i will go nuts otherwise and who knows what will happen...

AARRRGH

It's a cult because it's not normal.

You have to work in the garden. It's a communist style cult.

You make your own cider from the apples. Getting drunk in a sociable manner is a regular occurance.

Icelandic because, I dunno, when I think of weirdo land I think of Iceland...

D

If anyone says they like it are you going to PM them hte details/application?

AARRRGH

Rhyme wrote:

Questions:
Dresscode?
Commercials are out but what about other media such as movies etc...?
Whats the food like?
Are suggestions on improvement permitted?
Do we have to give anything up apart from the aforementioned things?
Are we destroyed if we find the leaders time machine?
...

Dresscode is "Jesus" style robes.
Movies are out.
The food is nice vegetarian.
Improvements are allowed, but the members of the cult are allowed vote. Majority wins.
Basically, you have to give up your normal life. Electricity is provided by solar panels and windmill type things, so you can't spend hours online.
It is a self-sustaining cult.

AARRRGH

D wrote:

If anyone says they like it are you going to PM them hte details/application?

LOL Obviously it doesn't exist. I'm just painting a scenario...

D

dublindude wrote:

LOL Obviously it doesn't exist.

Don't turn this place iinto a den of lies! 50 lashes by the Icelandic girls for you. Then I shall force you to browse the slydice forum... on a 56k.

Glipmac

D wrote:

Don't turn this place iinto a den of lies! 50 lashes by the Icelandic girls for you. Then I shall force you to browse the slydice forum... on a 56k.

more lashes damn it! he wants to take a way me curries (vegi meals no way!) and thay should be given by the Icelandic MEN! for taking away Family guy and Star Wars!

BossArky

dublindude wrote:

I'm just painting a scenario...

If there is painting involved then I'm definetly in

Kêrmêttê

Glipmac wrote:

harsh what about family guy? or starwars any thing like that?

dublindude wrote:

Nah, part of the deal is that you have to cut all ties with this part of life...

EVIL EVIL DIRTY CULT! I refuse to sign up to anything that does not contain Star Wars or LotR.
I would prefer to drink the poisoned lemonade! :eek:
/me takes swig of Cidona

Daelus

We'd be allowed to write our own "tv shows" or plays and perform them on stage, right? If so, I would be interested.

Someone start setting up this cult!

Lord Nikon

BossArky wrote:

If there is painting involved then I'm definetly in

Oh, me too. You bring the paints, i'll bring the beer.

User45701

i would join but i would maintian links to the otuside world tho the net i love TV can u imagine life without family guy and all your faverate shows and movies? i cant

embraer170

Questions, questions...
how is the whole thing financed?

DonkeyStyle \o/

embraer170 wrote:

Questions, questions...
how is the whole thing financed?

Everyone sells all their worldly goods and gives the money to the cult... which is then put into the stock market (lima beans/tofu/hemp clothing).
The main thing I don't like about cults is the whole suicide thing at the end... bit of a downer really.

I think the whole oscar wilde thing about "I wouldn't join any club that would have me as a member" keeps me safe from ever wanting to join a cult.

Blisterman

This doesnt sound so much like a cult, as a commune.

A cult is a religious thing.

spudington16

You sound like you need a "cult" where a lot of committment is not needed. Go to http://www.join-me.co.uk/ and check out Danny Wallace's one. He started it as a joke a few years back, and now has members in many countries. You won't be asked to do much (if anything), but you can impress all your friends by telling them you're in a "cult" if they ask you.

kenmc

Yeah - if there was religion involved, then they wouldn't let me stay long as they wouldn't believe me when I told them that there was no such thing as god.
If there's no religion involved then I ask whats the catch. If it sounds too good to be true, then it's too good to be true.
What about healthcare for example. How is that paid for. How is the solar panels that were mentioned before paid for? Sounds a bit like a green-energy Quaker site. but what can you run with that green-electricity? how do you finance the appliances you'd use... so many questions... when you get the answers all sorted please let me know, and I'll pay my sub.

Blisterman

You have to do a good deed on every friday.

funky penguin

Sarky wrote:

Bah.

Screw the hippy undertones, I want a Cult Of The Machine. All hail the Technocracy, and glory to the Omnissiah!

Oh most Beneficient one, I would bow down before you, but my initiative is too low. Besides, I only rolled a poxy 1.

corblimey

Your ideas are intriguing to me and I wish to subscribe to your newsletter.

jezza

dublindude wrote:

in Kerry.
...

no way... no no no no no no no NO!

goin'_to_the_PS

one word, "wako"

jezza

goin'_to_the_PS wrote:

one word, "wako"

what cult leaders? agreed

LadyJ

Hang on,you're all missing the point here,it's in KERRY!
I aint living out my days in Kerry! It's pretty much a commune of its own already!

jezza

LadyJ wrote:

Hang on,you're all missing the point here,it's in KERRY!
I aint living out my days in Kerry! It's pretty much a commune of its own already!

yep.. summed up perfecto

Dimitri

would we have to worship the leader, if so can i be the leader?

goin'_to_the_PS

two words "jone's town"

_Kaiser_

Dimitri wrote:

would we have to worship the leader, if so can i be the leader?

Na-na-na-na-na-na-na-na LEA-DER!!!

I love the Leader and his plan to take us to our perfect world Blisstonia!