Barman and squirrel

--Kaiser--

A barman was working in a quiet pub and he hears a shrill voice say;
"A pint of Guinness and a Jameson please"

The Barman looks at him "I don't know, you're a small enough fella, I don't want to be carrying you home."

"Nonsense" says the squirrel "I've been drinking since I was 12, I'll be grand"

"Fair enough" says the bartender, and pours the squirrel a pint and a shot like he asked, the squirrel goes into his quiet corner and starts drinking quietly.

A little while later, he hears a CLAP on the bar, the squirrel's looking for another pint and a shot, the barman decides he's been fairly quiet so gives him another pint a shot, the squirrel goes over to his corner and drinks away.

Another little while and the barman hears a loud CLAP on the bar, its the squirrel again, a little unsteady on his feet, asking for another pint and shot. The barman thinks for a second and pours him another two drinks, saying to himself that it will be the last.

Again the squirrel goes over to his corner, drinks his pint, but a soon as he downs his shot he runs outside looking green and decidedly worse for wear.

The barman smiles to himself, thinking thats the last he will see of the squirrel tonight.

A little later on the severly intoxicated squirrel comes stumbling through the front door.

The barman, who is finishing up for the night shouts "No more, we're closing!"

The Squirrel yells back, almost incoherently "I can't find my keys, I'm locked out of my tree!"

Glipmac

we're all lost here me and my team

--Kaiser--

I didn't get it immediately either, the joke is LOCKED OUT OF MY TREE is a common uttering of drunks (usually jocks)

Its much better told than read

Glipmac

Furry muff, sorry i mean fair enough

Thumper Long

:rolleyes:

ziggy

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--Kaiser--

I wasn't trying to insult anybody, but i have heard jocks (amongst others) use the term 'locked'

doesn't matter, no one liked the joke
(runs into corner and sobs like a little girl)

RuggieBear

that was funny

Corben Dallas

LOL :^O
like it!

ziggy

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ferdi

lol

La Cucaracha

Hah thats gas.

Naos

Very good, although I didnt get it first time either in my sleep haze