GF wants my email password

LegacyUser

My girlfriend recently gave me her email password. Her ex had been emailing her and she wanted to prove to me there was nothing going on. So she said here's my password, you can log in and read the emails.

The other day she said that since I have access to her email account she thinks I should give her my password! I don't think so!! I have absolutly nothing to hide but I don't see the reason I should give her my password. She is making a big deal out of it now.

What do you guys think?

hussey

if you've nothing to hide - what's the problem?
you asked for hers???
Her ex has been mailing .. big deal .. ex's can still be friends?

LegacyUser

Personally, I'd tell her to feck off, just because she gave you her password doesn't mean you have to give her yours. It sounds like she just gave you hers so you would feel compelled to give her yours. If she doesn't trust you for some reason this sort of thing isn't going to help

Firewalkwithme

Well you may have nothing to hide now but perhaps you will in the future. I say don't give her the password. If she kicks off about it just ask her why she doesn't trust you.

Eoghan-psych

PWD123 wrote:

My girlfriend recently gave me her email password. Her ex had been emailing her and she wanted to prove to me there was nothing going on. So she said here's my password, you can log in and read the emails.

The other day she said that since I have access to her email account she thinks I should give her my password! I don't think so!! I have absolutly nothing to hide but I don't see the reason I should give her my password. She is making a big deal out of it now.

What do you guys think?

I think that if she doesn't trust you enough not to be going through your email, you have bigger issues than whether or not you should give her your password.

babykiten

sounds like double standards to me mate- just open up and show her you have nothing to hide- just like her

Hester

You're entitled to your privacy, as is she. I wouldn't want a bf to have my email password.

How did she come to give you her password? Did you ask at any time to read her emails? Were you making a big deal about her ex emailing her?

If she's happy enough to let you read her emails, that's fine but it doesn't mean that she should make you feel bad about for wanting to keep yours private. Maybe you could suggest that she changes her password to something you don't know.

kaimera

seems like something more there else you'd give her the pw 'specially as you have nothing to hide.

what are you afraid of?
you're not whipped if thats what you think.

Nuttzz

you should have turned down her offer ("I dont need to look, i trust you"), she has you by the nuts now. Cant believe you fell for that old one....

Gilgamesh

give it her, let her look and change it again afterwards, no big deal if you don't have anything to hide.
if SHE gave you her password then she cannot ask you to give her yours.
but to stop a fight, might be wise to do so

the vivster

i agree if you have nothing to hide then just give her your password if you dont then thats just giving her a reason to doubt you there fore causing more arguements than you might want ... just give her your password big deal she'll only feel stupid when she see's you have nothing to hide anyway and possibly just stop cheacking them after awhile

Eoghan-psych

the vivster wrote:

i agree if you have nothing to hide then just give her your password if you dont then thats just giving her a reason to doubt you there fore causing more arguements than you might want ... just give her your password big deal she'll only feel stupid when she see's you have nothing to hide anyway and possibly just stop cheacking them after awhile

I disagree - if she's insecure enough to *want* to check the emails, then the absence of anything to be worried about probably isn't going to satisfy her.

MrPinK

I'd put my foot down on this one. Unless you asked for her password, she has no right to demand yours.

Stench Blossoms

If you've nothing to hide whats the problem?

egan007

MrPinK wrote:

I'd put my foot down on this one. Unless you asked for her password, she has no right to demand yours.

Amen
She has no reight to open your post
therefore she has no right to open your email
Tell her get over it.
There seems to be a bit of a trust issue between ye

I am MAN

babykiten wrote:

sounds like double standards to me mate- just open up and show her you have nothing to hide- just like her

Why should he? He hasn't given her any reason to be suspicious. Maybe she originally gave him her password because secretly she thought he was up to something, Aha. how do you like them apples!!

qz

Don't give it to her. If you have to, open up your inbox and let her have a search, but keep your password to yourself.

jesus_thats_gre

She only gave you her password originally so she could later ask for yours.. she's a devious cow..

The Sweeper

How do you know he hasn't been bitching at her like a aul' nag to get her password, and then she said "right you've seen mine, now show me yours"?

"OOOO!! MY password? No no, I don't think so, you should just trust my saintly little self, even though I gave you a hard time to get your email password..."

So come on OP - why did she give you her password? Have you issues with her ex?

What's good for the goose...

Einstein

Yeah I wouldn't give her my password. Do you open her letters that come inthe door?
Girlfriend or not, i'd keep it to yourself.

Peace

hussey wrote:

if you've nothing to hide - what's the problem?
you asked for hers???

He didn't ask for it...read here..

PWD123 wrote:

So she said here's my password,

I'd give it the whole you should trust me deal... and then route all the dodge emails to another mail address. I mean i get loads of mails from people i don;t need being read by other people... just lads stuff.. jokes etc etc.

Everybody's got something to hide.

D

I wouldn't give it to her.

Töpher

MrPinK wrote:

I'd put my foot down on this one. Unless you asked for her password, she has no right to demand yours.

Hell yeah.

And if the worse comes to the worst, give it to her. And after she's looked at it once, change the password.

Peace

fu.ck it.... this thread just made me realise that my missus has my password to my mail accounts... bah... time for a change. (of password that is)

Hobart

I'd give it to her

Zulu

Nuttzz wrote:

you should have turned down her offer ("I dont need to look, i trust you"), she has you by the nuts now. Cant believe you fell for that old one....

Hammer. Nail. Head.
It's the classic "check-raise" my friend.

Your only out as I can see it, give her your e-mail p/w, and then either subtly migrate to a new e-mail account over a period of time, or keep changing your p/w every odd week (she'll soon get tired of asking).

...you did walk into it though.

Dr. Loon

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

She only gave you her password originally so she could later ask for yours.. she's a devious cow..

I agree with this. The amount of couples that seem to play little games with each other is ridiculous.

BossArky

If she wants another email account tell her to look at www.hotmail.com or www.yahoo.com or www.don'taskformypasswordyouinsecurewagon.com

hussey

Peace wrote:

He didn't ask for it...read here..



I'd give it the whole you should trust me deal... and then route all the dodge emails to another mail address. I mean i get loads of mails from people i don;t need being read by other people... just lads stuff.. jokes etc etc.

Everybody's got something to hide.

the impression he gave is that he thought there was something going on between his Gf and her Ex, and she gave it to him to prove him wrong

shakaman

Minesajackdaniels wrote:

How do you know he hasn't been bitching at her like a aul' nag to get her password, and then she said "right you've seen mine, now show me yours"?

"OOOO!! MY password? No no, I don't think so, you should just trust my saintly little self, even though I gave you a hard time to get your email password..."

So come on OP - why did she give you her password? Have you issues with her ex?

What's good for the goose...

Jesus JD you're on a serious anti-men rant over the past couple of days.....between this and the reply to the 'are irish women ugly?' thread yesterday, someone's got a bee in her bonnet>

I reckon you should give her the password, let her check it, and reset your password afterwards so you're both all square.

kasintahan

jesus_thats_gre wrote:

She only gave you her password originally so she could later ask for yours.. she's a devious cow..

Bingo. He fell for it.

Beware of Greeks bearing gifts and all that...

You have a right to email privacy as much as you have a right private thought.

Coconut

PWD123 wrote:

So she said here's my password, you can log in and read the emails.

This may be just a technicality, but DID you?

If you haven't, then just tell her you trust her, you have no need for access to her account and tell her to change her password.

If you did, that may be your undoing. Just delete what you don't want her to see, let her have a look around and then both change your passwords and avoid such traps in future!

Yeah, what shakaman said!

The Sweeper

shakaman wrote:

Jesus JD you're on a serious anti-men rant over the past couple of days.....between this and the reply to the 'are irish women ugly?' thread yesterday, someone's got a bee in her bonnet

I'm expressing an opinion like everyone else on this board. Have you an issue with that? I think my point was valid. I think we didn't get the full story from the OP. And I asked how all the respondents stating that the girlfriend appears to be making an unreasonable request could be sure that she wasn't responding to her boyfriend's potential nagging about her own password.

I fail to see the issue. Am I making you uncomfortable? And - by the way, how can you possibly pick up on my anti-men posts in a thread entitled "Are Irish Women Ugly"? "Majd, I believe you're posting too strongly in what was an otherwise balanced and reasonable thread!" Get over it.

Kone

No effing way!!!

MrPinK

I don't think giving her the password and then changing afterwards it is a good idea. She'll know that anything you didn't want her to see would have been deleted before you gave her the password. The only possible reason for asking is so that she can check up on you in the future. She will know when you change it and will want to know why.

Stand your ground, tell her that she was no right to read through your mails if you're not comfortable with it, and ask her to change her password and keep it to herself this time.

Coconut

MrPinK wrote:

She'll know that anything you didn't want her to see would have been deleted before you gave her the password.

Of course, and she may well have done this herself before letting him look. But this is pointless without more info from the OP on why she gave it to him, and if/why he used it.

The point about changing passwords is they both do it and agree that from now on they both deserve some privacy and that they both trust each other.

the vivster

my boyfroend has my email password he no's my pin code for my phone ect. and it was'nt like he asked for them i may of just asked him to turn on my phone for me therefore having to give him my pin and same goes for my email password i might of asked him to check them for me some day for a reply or something is was no big deal cause i had nothing to hide so i do think i am right when i say if you have nothing to hide ... give her your password and then maybe if you want argue with her for not trusting you when she see's you in actual fact had nothing to hide ... then change your password!! and tell her never to doubt you again.

FreaK_BrutheR

I wouldn't ask for hers.
I wouldn't give her mine.
There's acertain amount you share before you become assimilated and start thinking about murdering people. people do need space - its not just a silly saying. I will never live oput of any other persons pocket.

babykiten

But He Asked Her For Hers- Thats Not Fair Surely- Why One Rule For Him And Not For Her?

logic1

I'd bang her.

.logic.

snappieT

Maybe you could find a middle ground. I'd never give my password to anyone. (Once I went to the bother of telling someone to install VNC so they could look at an email (me signing in for them)

Perhaps you could say that you're not happy giving out your password, but at any time, day or night, she can ask to go on with you to check should she feel the urge.

Lemming

babykiten wrote:

But He Asked Her For Hers- Thats Not Fair Surely- Why One Rule For Him And Not For Her?

We don't know that. Did he ask for hers? Or did she give him hers?

Gun. Barrel. Jump length of.....

kasintahan

babykiten wrote:

But He Asked Her For Hers- Thats Not Fair Surely- Why One Rule For Him And Not For Her?

No she gave it to him.

It's a well known and powerful psychological trick. Read this, or google for the words "persuasion" and "gift".

"A classic example of a technique that Dr. Cialdini shares is using a gift to obligate someone. If we receive a gift, we are socially obligated to return the favor. Followers of the Hare Krishna movement used to exploit this social response by giving flowers and books to people in airports and then asking for a donation. This proved to be an almost irresistible approach. The people would try to refuse the gift to not be obligated, but the Krisha followers wouldn't let them."

The Sweeper

...could we just have the OP back to tell us why his girlfriend actually gave him her email password? All I want to know is whether or not he was putting pressure on her about her current relationship with her ex-boyfriend.

Normally, I'd say that everyone has a right to their own privacy. But if you make demands on someone elses privacy, prepare to have the same done to you.

the vivster

could the OP say something back to us? did you get paranoid about her friendship with her ex and ask for the password or did she just randomly say lookmit ther is my email password?

vibrant

She sounds like she's feeling totally insecure in herself, and your relationship - and that she's just turning to you to constantly reassure her that everything between both of you is OK. Perhaps she's just a little immature, but I don't think she has any right to expect you to share your password. What is it going to prove? That she has no respect for your privacy? I'd encourage her to change her password ASAP before it turns hideous and she pulls out another attention-seeking device.

*

I've just re-read this before posting and I think I come accross really awfully mean spirited here, and I apologize... obviously I don't know either of you so don't take my comments about her personally!

egan007

Cut the crap
Scenario:

Her: "I gave you my password, i think i should get your password."

Him: "C'mout te'fuc - where's me tae"

*Angel*

I wouldn't give mine to anyone, I don't think that just because she gave you hers that you should be obliged to give her yours.

LegacyUser

Ok to clear a few things up...

...her ex started emailing her out of the blue. She told me about it and asked me if I think she should reply. I said to ignore the emails as he treated her really ****ty in the past and dumped her. I thought what right has he to start emailing now. Anyway, she wanted to reply and she said I could read the emails if I wanted. She offered the password, I didn't ask for it. Curiosity got the better of me then and I did log in and have a look. It was all pretty harmless emails.

When she asked for my email password I refused. She said that I have her password so she should have mine. I said she can change her password if she likes but she is not getting mine.

I think she either trusts me or she doesn't, I don't need to give her access to my email to prove it.

simu

No no no!

First rule of IT: never tell anyone your passport.

And get her to change hers as well so that you no longer know it.

MidnightQueen

hussey wrote:

if you've nothing to hide - what's the problem?
you asked for hers???
Her ex has been mailing .. big deal .. ex's can still be friends?

Well i would agree with you!

Its all about trust PWD123 . Its kinda obvious that u dont realy trust each other.