girls buying drinks?!? for boys???

hullaballoo

After having a discussion in PI about this, i reckon it needs more attention.

If you go out with a girl, it's common courtesy to pay their way as much as your own, but I've found some people disagree with me. Whether or not it is common courtesy is not up for debate, the fact of the matter is that chivalry has a place in our society. The point is, who thinks girls should buy back?

Talliesin

hullaballoo wrote:

After having a discussion in PI about this, i reckon it needs more attention.

If you go out with a girl, it's common courtesy to pay their way as much as your own, but I've found some people disagree with me. Whether or not it is common courtesy is not up for debate, the fact of the matter is that chivalry has a place in our society. The point is, who thinks girls should buy back?

"Party frocks don't have pockets". But party frocks aren't common attire any more.

uberwolf

buy back or put out. TBH

Lainey

i generally buy round for round, unless i was stoney broke and he brought me out.. but i'd return the favour..

monkeyfudge

I generally insist on paying for big things like dinner.

But I really like to have a drink bought for me in the pub. If a girl isn't buying rounds it really puts me off.

blah

It's one thing to buy a drink for a girl as a courtesy, but another thing to be going out with one and to pay her way, especially at today's prices. It just doesn't make any sense if you're both working, otherwise she'd be loaded and you'd be broke all the time.

dudara

Everyone will be different here, it's nice to have a few bought for you, everyone likes a free drink, but in reality, decency will mean that you'll also get a few rounds in as well.

Lainey

monkeyfudge wrote:

If a girl isn't buying rounds it really puts me off.

thats what it is,, suppose goes for friends or dates.. it seems like they are users if they won't pay their own way

TerrorFirmer

You buy a few, she buys a few, there should be no akwardness, and no expectations. If shes a nice girl you'll be having too good a time to care whos buying what, as long as shes making some contribtion

monkeyfudge

Lainey wrote:

thats what it is,, suppose goes for friends or dates.. it seems like they are users if they won't pay their own way

I don't mind even if they put up a little argument.

Her: Oh, let me pay for this...

ME: no no no... don't be silly I'll pay for it...

I like that... also even if they do a little reach for a bill every now and then it's nice...

koneko

I buy a round, you buy a round, I buy a round, you buy a round. Same as when you're going out with friends. Works for me.
I wouldn't recommend paying her way all the time, if she's that type of person, it could set her off in "princess mode" where you'll be paying her credit card bills in no time.

windowgazer

What about the counter argument that girls spend alot more money on looking good for a date? Not my opinion, read it in a mag.

pretty*monster

I like a guy who'll buy me a drink but I'd never expect them to, and I tend to lose a lot of repect if they try to buy me more than that, it frequently seems like their just doing it because they expect something in return.

And if I've got the money I tend to buy guys drink, cos y'know, guys don't have any more money that I do and equality and all that jazz.

I am MAN

It should be equal. I think paying a womans way is old fashioned now.

Dimitri

round for round its the only way! i'd happily buy a drink if shes stuck for cash, but not every night you go out. true chivilry has a place but it should not be dependent on the size of your wallet

monkeyfudge

koneko wrote:

I buy a round, you buy a round, I buy a round, you buy a round. Same as when you're going out with friends. Works for me.
I wouldn't recommend paying her way all the time, if she's that type of person, it could set her off in "princess mode" where you'll be paying her credit card bills in no time.

Ah yes... the dreaded "Princess Mode" haha....

In fairness though... my last few girlfriends were from Mexico, Czech Republic and Brazil, so in Ireland things tended to be a bit expensive for them. That's why I usually merely appreciate the gesture of an attempt to pay for something.

WizZard

Atari Jaguar tbh.

silly

round for round.....i didnt think it was any other way these days really.

skywalker

koneko wrote:

I wouldn't recommend paying her way all the time, if she's that type of person, it could set her off in "princess mode" where you'll be paying her credit card bills in no time.

does that actually happen? :eek:


Agree with what monkeyfudge mentioned above. No problem paying for dinner, but Ive no problem with her paying for it either. In fact generally whoever asks does the paying there. If I asked Id pretty much insist on paying.

But in the pub its a bit grating to have to put your hand in your pocket round after round. Ive had it happen with a few girls. And you do notice it. With the
exception of if its been mentioned/discussed before the night and your fine with it then.

Sherifu

tit for tat

cournioni

If I like a girl I would normally buy them a drink. But I would expect one back just to show that the feeling is mutual. If they don't, they can just fúck off.

skywalker

windowgazer wrote:

What about the counter argument that girls spend alot more money on looking good for a date? Not my opinion, read it in a mag.

What a ridiculous argument.

Btw hullaballoo, whats with the "Only after a few dates" option. Precedent will defeinitely be set if your paying everything on the first few dates, if you suddenly stop so will the relationship.

dawballz

uberwolf wrote:

buy back or put out. TBH

I've seen "She puts out" etc around but I've never known what it means. Care to enlighten me?

Nimrod's Son

Round for round every time.
Even that can be a bit of a pisser when you're drinking Guiness and she's drinking something like vodka and coke cos you'll find yourself a few bob down come the end of the night.

DrIndy

Women should buy men drinks - aren't we living in a postfeminist society?

Dave

I like when they at least offer, I dislike when they ask me to buy them a drink, regardless of what i'm getting in return.

masterK

The funny thing is that there is still of lot of girls out there that expect everything to paid for by the bloke. In my opinion that's greed, nothing to do with the role of the man or chivalry. Most women work in equal jobs and earn equal wages so there is no need for the man to pay all the time.

Was out a while ago with a group, a mate had his girlfriend with him, she brought along a friend, the idiot was stuck all night buying drink not only for her but for her mate as well.

Larianne

Irish guys can be so stingy its unreal!! These days its even hard to find a guy who will offer to buy you a drink (and even rarer.. want nothing in return!). It's just polite to offer a girl a drink.

I do think though that girls should then offer to buy drinks back but if guys wanna get in the good books, turn it down and buy the girl drinks all night! ha ha It does depend on the situation though.

In America, I found it so strange that guys were offering to buy me drinks left right and centre. And wanting nothing in return! And they would be very offended if I turned the drink down. I think in America, guys like to prove their status, so saying they'll buy all the drinks is saying 'oh I'm rich I can affor it'.

Irish guys are just like '**** ya if I ain't getting anything in return for the drinks, bugger off!'

uberwolf

dawballz wrote:

I've seen "She puts out" etc around but I've never known what it means. Care to enlighten me?

:eek:

eh - she's easy.
definition 2

Dr. Loon

Since when has chivalry had anything to do with paying for other people? Bóllox. Chivalry, is being mannerly, courteous etc. towards women. It has nothing to do with paying their way for the whole fúckin night.

I buy a round of drinks, you buy a round.... fairly simple.

windowgazer

Nimrod's Son wrote:

Round for round every time.
Even that can be a bit of a pisser when you're drinking Guiness and she's drinking something like vodka and coke cos you'll find yourself a few bob down come the end of the night.

how scabby are you???

ionapaul

Dr. Loon wrote:

Since when has chivalry had anything to do with paying for other people? Bóllox. Chivalry, is being mannerly, courteous etc. towards women. It has nothing to do with paying their way for the whole fúckin night.

I buy a round of drinks, you buy a round.... fairly simple.

Indeed it is. If a girl is happy to sit there and be paid for all night, without attempting to reciprocate, something is very wrong with the situation. I would never, EVER, meet someone again if they didn't attempt to buy me a drink or two on a night out (and yes, I would let them!)

WhiteWashMan

regardless of the situation, i will always buy everyone a drink in the same group as me, but i would expect it to go into rounds.

if its a me and one other person date thing, then it really depends. if i suggest spontaneous dinner, i will say its my treat, and i will pay for it.
if i a girl has taken the urine in the past, ive dumped her. went out wioth a girl on three dates once, never put her hand in her pocket and she asked me for money for a cab on the last date. that certainly made it a last date.

but i think when you go out with someone, you at least sort of know them, and most people will buy their round. i mean, unless you just randomly picked someone out of a line up to go for a beer, you will know them, and you will both be out ona date because you kinda like the other person (or in her case, theres nothing on the tele ), and i suspect there will be some respect and mutal pint buying.

the only way i can really see a guy (or a girl) paying for everything, is if the fool keep offering, and the person doesnt respect you, or if the other person is stoney flat broke, in which case youre probably taking them out for a cheer up treat of a feed of beers.


otherwise, why would you? jesus, get some self esteem and stop trying to buy friends with pints!

BEAT

On a date I always offer, if he refuses to let me help pay for dinner then I will buy him a drink afterwards.
If we are out drinking I try the, he buys one I buy one but the guy always wants to buy everything, atleast the guys i go out with.
That is very nice but for some reason I always feel like "why should he have to pay for everything?" Its not like we are married or engaged...infact when your married you would be buying your own so why is it different in dating?
Some men prefer equality, where each buys thier own or swaps drink buying, other men prefer to be in charge and buy it all showing they are the one in control. Whatever the case I always offer to buy.

I know some girls who dont take money with them on a date because they feel they shouldnt have to pay for anything if a man wants to take them out. More power to them, but I am always prepared just incase

idontknowmyname

I think it should be 50/50, doesn't matter if its the first date or you've been going out for years

Tar.Aldarion

i buy a girl a drink because i want to not because i feel i have to and in no way should i expect anything in return.same with friends.

pwd

I've been out with a couple of girls who insisted on paying for everything (ie for my drinks and food too). I've been out with girls who brought no money and assumed I should pay for them.
The latter seemed presumptious, arrogant, and quite inconsiderate; especially when I did not have much spare cash. It caused me not to respect them.
The former was charming and made me respect them more. It also made me more inclined to trust them: I've been with total leeches, in every sense, and I'm wary of that happening again.

MidnightQueen

Well ya it is common courtesy for a guy to buy the first drink. It just goes to show that he's not selfish. I would feel guilty if he did keep buying drinks for me. It just wouldnt be fair on him!

pickarooney

What's this nonsense about "getting something in return" as though the girl was doing the guy a favour by getting off with him?

simu

I usually try to buy something back for people who buy me stuff regardless of gender. This doesn't always happen in the confusion at the end of a night in the pub, though.

Shyster

Its nice when a guy offers to buy the first drink, after that you offer to pay for the next. For the rest of the night do rounds or get your own, otherwise you'll just be bitter about having to buy the drinks and not enjoy the night...

And why do so many people let the girls walk all over them!! Tell them "I'll get the first round in" or something along those lines and then you wont get caught out.

Pink Bunny

Larianne wrote:

In America, I found it so strange that guys were offering to buy me drinks left right and centre. And wanting nothing in return! And they would be very offended if I turned the drink down.

Yeah, that's true.
And I'm so glad someone brought this topic up, because I've always heard that it's kind of the rule in Ireland that men and women take turns buying drinks (I'm American). But I just got back from a vacation in Ireland and found that the men never expected me to buy them a drink in return, even when I kept offering. In fact a couple guys seemed insulted and said things like "a lady never buys a man a drink". So, I don't think that this "rule" is as common as you think.

Genghis

I've noticed that in a round situation, especially when the round has 'gone full circle', girls are reluctant to buy their fair share. Say you are out with five other people, two of who are female, you find that everyone buys a round for the first six rounds, and after that it is left to the boys to keep buying.

In an extreme example on New Years Eve I was out with three girls and one other guy. After the girls bought a round early in the night it reverted to the two lads buying for the rest of the night ... and being New years Eve this turned out expensive. Not even a thank you ...

Scarinae

Dr. Loon wrote:

Since when has chivalry had anything to do with paying for other people? Bóllox. Chivalry, is being mannerly, courteous etc. towards women. It has nothing to do with paying their way for the whole fúckin night.

I completely agree with you! I had a boyfriend who bought everything for me (it was so annoying) - drinks, food, cinema tickets, dart tickets etc - but he was a rude bastard. I'd way prefer them to be nice, have manners and let me pay for half the drinks. That's chivalry

Alkers

I would have thought the "men" would be able to survive many more rounds than the women, especially on new year!

Sarky

Littleninja owes me a whiskey. The wench.

vibrant

God, I always buy back rounds. The only exception I have is if he's drinking double what I'm drinking for the evening... if it's going to be a big session, I'll just buy my own. Generally though, I don't like the idea of sponging off someone.

Actually, just thought of another exception, which is going to make myself appear completely hypocritical but what the hell. Anyway, it was when I didn't really like the guy and let him pay for drinks for the evening.... but it only happened once

pwd

Chris Rock amkes some good jokes about this in his Bigger and Blacker DVD; anybody see it?
If women want equality they should pay the bill.
A guy pays a girl's way because he wants pussy.
A guy buys a girl and hamburger he figures she owes him 99c worth of pussy.

Obviously a lot funnier when the comedian says it.

he leech I referred to earlier was American. I've met Irish and Dutch girls who seemed the same way though.

WhiteWashMan

as my partner says, 'ireland is the only country in the world where a man can come up to a woman, offer her a drink, and if she turns it down for some reason, he will turn around and tell her shes a stupid cúnt anyway...'

and you know what, shes right!

pred racer

I only require that they offer to pay their share. I have no problem treating a girl to a night out. but I do have a problem with them expecting me to!

does this make any sense or should I go get help????

pred racer

Pink Bunny wrote:

Yeah, that's true.
And I'm so glad someone brought this topic up, because I've always heard that it's kind of the rule in Ireland that men and women take turns buying drinks (I'm American). But I just got back from a vacation in Ireland and found that the men never expected me to buy them a drink in return, even when I kept offering. In fact a couple guys seemed insulted and said things like "a lady never buys a man a drink". So, I don't think that this "rule" is as common as you think.

They were trying to get into yer knickers!