Mother may have cancer

galwaydude

Hi,
Just got a call from my mom whom had a biopsy last week.They asked her to have a further biopsy tomorrow as they are not sure what type of cancer she has. Originally she noticed a lump a month ago and got it checked out.Shes had breast and lungs test and both came back clear. How does one cope with this news!! I couldnt believe it when she told me, i was half expecting something as she told us about the lump last week. Aparently the specialist has told that its treatable with chimo.They have to find out what type it is first. Im in shock to say the least.
We wont know the results of the second biospy that she will have tomorrow for 3 weeks.

LegacyUser

Where exactly is the lump?

Gilgamesh

Man this is indeed a cr@p situation, my simpathies go to you.
I do'nt really think there is a 'good' way to cope with such devastating news but just to hope for the best.
People normally say, don't allways expect the worst of a situation.
maybe you shoudl visit your mum and maybe talk with her about it, or with a close friend you trust.
have a cry about it maybe, just to get it out of your system a bit.

Wish all the best to your mom, that she will receive 'positive' news from the biopsy results.

Beruthiel

galwaydude wrote:

Aparently the specialist has told that its treatable with chimo.

you have to cling to that and though it's really tough for you all, try to keep her spirits up.
sounds like she's been through a lot and has come through it, being a fighter makes all the difference.
keep positive
a

galwaydude

the lump is on the side of her neck.
Thanx ruth im clinging to that too. Ye she has been through alot.She had a minor stroke 10 years ago and was relately well until last month when she discovered the lump.Just had to tell someone as im stuck here in work till 8 pm:(

CathyMoran

My sympathy goes out to you - a close relative of mine was diagnosed with cancer about 7 years ago - all that I can really say all the stuff that my best friend told me at the time, is that they can treat cancer really well now, I am not claiming that it will be easy but you can get through it. My relative still has check ups but is well. Best wishes,AC

galwaydude

i thinking the waiting is the hardest. Have to wait another 3 weeks for the results of the second biopsy that she is having tomorrow.

tk123

3 weeks!!? Thats crap galwaydude the waiting would drive me crazy too!! A guy in work was in for routine treatment recently and they found something so he has to get chemo. I feel terrible for him but he's been told there's a 90% recovery rate also my gran and another collegue both had cancer a few years ago and there's not a bother on them now!! I know its easy for me to say but loads of people have cancer and recover. All I can suggest is just be there for your mum or take her out shopping or do something that would take your minds off it? And come and talk to us all on Boads if you need somebody to talk to!!!

nesf

*hug*

I sincerely hope that the second biopsy shows up as clear or as a benign tumour. It can happen, don't give up hope.

A friend of mine was diagnosed recently at the age of 29, so I can imagine how you must feel, and the best I can do is to offer you sympathy and support. At least the specialist is telling her that chemo might work, believe me that is a godsend.

My friend was given 3 months untreated, or 2 years paralysed if the chemo works and they can remove it, and he's only been given 20/80 chances on that working, not good .

smileygal

Hope it turns out well, galwaydude.

I know of someone whose family member has breast cancer and her positive attitude is fantastic. Everyone is being really positive for the whole family, while not denying that it is worrying and stressful and you are all facing an unknown.
she had a 2 or 3 week wait for a result as well, and the person's method of dealing with it was to get upset, then brace herself and say to herself that there was no way the 3 weeks would magically get any shorter and made sure she distracted herself with work and social life aswell as lots of trips home.

It might sound cheesy but, in my experience, thinking positively does really help in some ways.

I know it's hard to deal with such news and there's no manual !
I hope us boardsies are of help to you, especially when you are stuck in work.

Take care

LadyJ

Hey dude!
My mom never had cancer but she did get very sick when I was young and died a couple of years later. I don't want to make you scared of course,I really hope your mother is ok but I gotta say,when my mom was sick,although I was very young,it really helped me feel better by talking to her about her illness so I could understand it better. Stay positive but if the worst should happen,communication is the key to coping.

tinkerbell

So sorry to hear about your mom, galwaydude. I know that this is a very tough time for you and your family now.

I hope that she gets better, and if you are ever feeling dispair, all us peeps on boards are here for you if you want to talk.

Tonto2

Im new to this but im sorry to hear about your mother, sometimes these things work out well and a alot of people respond well to treatment. Afreind of mine had a brain tumor a few years back, you wouldnt know it now. stay positive, if only for your mother. good luck.

funk-you

sorry to hear that galwaydude, my thoughts go out to you and your family.

try to stay positive and try to learn as much as you can about the illness as possible(know thy enemy etc...) it does help you through a parent being ill if you understand exactly what is happening instead of letting your imagination wander. also hold onto any positive messages that the doctor will give you as they tend not to be in the business of giving out false hope.
-P

galwaydude

thanx for your kind words, shes talking with her consultant today regarding when she can have the second biopsy.
Im glad i put this up on boards as feel alot more positive about the situation now.

Gilgamesh

hope all goes well.

LegacyUser

In the last 2 years a member of my family was diagnosed with cancer, and were treated with chemo, the cancer was in the fairly early stages so they were very lucky, the treatment can be very effective once caught early.

What Im saying here is, if on the offchance that your mother is diagnosed with it (and I seriously hope she's not), there is fabulous treatment out there, it also sounds like she's went straight to the doctor as soon as she noticed the lump, and not let it drag, so there's a good chance that it would be in very early stages.

magnumlady

I just want to wish you all the best. Keep your hopes hope. My mum was diagnosed with cancer 3 years ago, I'm happy to say after chemo and radiotherapy she's better then ever and the cancer has gone.

RuggieBear

Stay positive.
My mother discovered she had breast cancer about a month ago...and tbh my first reaction was absolute shock and a few tears. But the important thing is to keep your mam from worrying. My mam was a bit fatalistic about the whole thing (writing a will/sitting us down and telling us how she wanted her funeral!!) but you have to keep reminding her that the recovery rate is very very high even compared to a decade ago (I think it is over 95% but tbh i'm not sure where i heard that) with loads of new drugs designed to minimise secondaries.

Anyway...The breast was removed 3 weeks ago. She spent 10 days in hospital and was on her feet and running outside for smokes the next day (Smoking can be good for you )Think she has to let the wound heal a little bit longer and then there will be some chemo but my mother is doing fine and the only thing i'm worried about now is stopping her over exerting herself.

Good luck and have faith.

galwaydude

sorry to hear about your mum ruggiebear.
Im not sure when my moms second biopsy is, hopefully very soon.She is talking to the consultant today. Surprisenly she has kept very positive juring this period of not knowing.

babaduck

Galwaydude

I'm so sorry to hear about your mum. Hopefully the news of the biopsy will be positive and the chemo will get rid of all the cancer cells. My father in law died of cancer last month & I found the Irish Cancer Society helpline were brilliant in offering me advice & generally calming me down when I was freaking out in private (couldn't let the husband see it because he had enough on his plate)

The most important thing is to have a positive attitude and to talk about it - how she feels, what help she'll need and basically acknowledge the fact that she may be sick, but she will get better. Don't hide away and ignore it, it makes it 50 million times worse.

Chin up & hope for the best
BD

My own mum has been getting chemo on and off for the last two years.
She went into remission,it came back 6 months later and now it has calmed down to an extent again.
The doctors have told us it will be ongoing though and will get her eventually
The treatments are great now and theres less sickness involved as there are improved treatments for that.
All I can say is,to be strong and encourage your mum to be strong.

Hopefully, the diagnosis will be that your mum is ok.
3 weeks seems like a long time for the result of a biopsy, iirc, my mum had hers in less than a week,but that was on VHI and with a private appointment.

Dreamcatcher

Sorry to hear that news Galwaydude.
But it's not necessarily bad news at this point in time. However the "not knowing" is the worst, sometimes.

I imagine she may be feeling very worried, and all sorts of things may be going through her mind at this(early) stage.
Worried, not only for herself, but for the rest of the family - your dad and her children. Best thing you can do, as others have said is to be strong, and reassure her, and maintain as level a head as possible, and be there for her, when you think she'd like to talk about things.
And do what you can to ensure that your Dad and the rest of the family is ok.

I don't know the situation, but if your Mam usually takes care of the running of the house for example, household chores and stuff, then do your bit to ensure that the family and the household doesn't "fall apart" while she's resting/recovering - she will need to rest and it would be a HUGE weight off her mind I'm sure to know that the family is coping and co-operating with household chores and stuff.

As I said, I don't know the situation, so I don't know if what I've said above is relevant, but I have heard other stories of families not pulling together and even argueing over who does the chores etc. when the mother is unwell.

Make sure that she is being pampered during her resting/recovery as much as possible. Maybe you guys could buy her some books that she'd like to read or something to take her mind off things... Make sure that she is eating healthily(Feel free to PM me if you need some further info about this), and I would advise that she takes a good multivitamin(if she's not doing so already) to ensure that her immune system is bolstered with all the vital nutrients.

Fingers crossed that she'll be ok, and I hope that you'll cope and be strong, no matter what the outcome.

galwaydude

just an update
I havent added anything in the last month as my head has been in a right mess im only getting snippets of information.
my mom is going in for radiotherpy and chimotherepy on monday, every day for five weeks for the treatment of lung cancer. I dont know how i should be feeling but im trying to stay positive for my parents sake. It really puts your life into perspective!!!

besty

i really admire you for being so brave about this whole thing galwaydude/ruggiebear and anyone else who has gone through something similar. Best of luck and try and stay positive.

Emmo

It was this time two years ago, (10th of June) that my Dad called me and asked me to meet him and my mam for a drink in their local after work on a Tuesday.

I knew something was up when I got their, the two of them looked pissed and I could tell me mother had been crying. Its not that she looked messed up, she looked immaculate. Its just the way that you know what close family look like.

They asked me to sit down and explained that my mam had found a lump and been diagnosed with breast cancer. They explained that she would have to have a masectomy and radio-therapy.

None of this sunk in at all, I didnt want it too. I couldnt comprehend this. All I kept focusing on was the word "Cancer".

Its a horrible dark little word. Ignore it and just be there for your mother and family.

What happend next was a year of hell for my mother, where she was in and out of hospital. Losing her hair. Couldnt work.

Then she beat it. All clear, my mother and father finnally tied the knot and made me a legitimate child (my Da still maintains I will always be a bastard).

She got sick again shortly after that, very much worse than the cancer, the medication to stop the cancer cause blood clots to form and these blood clots then cause necrosis of her liver, one of her kidneys and part of her bowl.

She went into a coma and I was telephoned to go straight to the hospital as she was going to die.

Again all I could focus on was that one word, die.

Against all odds she came round from the coma, beat the clotting and got her life back on track thanks to all her family around her.

My message to you is just be brave, take one of the chin this time and dont show any fear. Remain positive and never give up hope for her. She will need you as much as you needed her when you where younger.

Stay in there and if you do need a friendly voice or to discuss something with someone who has been through it pm me and I will ring you.

Best of luck to you, her and the rest of your family.

Stay safe.

Emmo

Fionn

galwaydude
i don't know you, but just want to add my best thoughts to you during this trying time, and remember your never alone
It's heartening to see all the replies of encouragement especially Emmo
thats so generous of you, well done everyone!!

galwaydude

Thanx to you all, its heartening to know other peoples experiences when going through something like this. So a big thank you to all who have posted.Im heading home today to galway for the weekend to see her before she starts the chimoterepy on monday.

IANOC

sorry to hear this
wish your mother all the best in the tests
i recently lost my father to leukemia and its a horrible thing to go through
just remember: to keep her spirits up and make sure you do and say all things that you wouldnt normally.
as its now that counts
all my prayers
ian

galwaydude

sorry to hear that Ian. Thanx for the kind comment though.

IANOC

galwaydude wrote:

sorry to hear that Ian. Thanx for the kind comment though.

thanks mate
remember no matter what is wrong with the body , a happy mind can take control
regards
ian

Emmo

its all good buddy.

Remember that offer is open any time you want.

Emmo

Tar.Aldarion

good luck
very recently they thought mum had cancer but luckily we found out she didnt
i know what i felt(was a bit hard on some friends too when i wouldnt tell em what was up) and so i offer sympathies to you and just keep the spirits up.